Tsurukame Cup Jury's Award 'White Award'

I do not write of recovery on the bamboo strip, but of the Sala flowers

The seasonal word is Sala flowers. Because of the name, one might mistake it for the 'Sala tree flowers' that appear in the opening of The Tale of the Heike, but in Japan, it seems to be a pure white flower also known as the summer camellia.
From the phrase 'I do not write of recovery,' one can imagine that the subject of the poem might be hospitalized for some illness. In hospitals, people often write wishes on bamboo strips for Tanabata decorations, and I imagine the nurse must have handed the subject a strip and told them to write a wish.
But why didn't they write about their own recovery?
wants to believe There are many ways to read this, but I felt that the subject might be thinking that 'recovery is a given and not something to be wished for.' In other words, I felt the severity of the illness precisely because they did not wish for it. If there were a clear prospect for discharge, one might instead innocently write, 'I hope I get well soon.' I felt that a resistance to wishing for something so easily is expressed in the phrasing 'I do not write of recovery.' And then, the seasonal word placed at the end: Sala flowers. Like camellias, Sala flowers fall off as a whole flower. Moreover, they seem to fall on the very day they bloom. That appearance inevitably reminds one of the end of life. And that is precisely why it is beautiful.
It is a magnificent haiku that I felt entrusted the thought of contemplating one's own life to the seasonal word.

Time spent sitting alongside a turtle on the veranda

This is a haiku without a seasonal word. Since it is the Tsurukame Cup, this might be a greeting haiku. The phrasing in the middle and end, 'time spent sitting alongside a turtle,' is excellent, and the scene comes to mind just from that. I thought the subject must be someone who keeps a turtle and for whom being with the turtle is always natural, and it turned out to be Chiri-chan, haha.
If so, this is a poem about an actual scene.
It makes one feel that the time spent sitting alongside the turtle is surely a precious time for the subject that cannot be replaced by anything else. Perhaps it was made without a seasonal word precisely because it captures an ordinary moment in the year.
Although it is a summer tournament, it is a heartwarming and healing haiku that makes one feel various peaceful times throughout the four seasons, and it brought peace to my heart as well. It was a lovely haiku.
If I were to suggest a seasonal word, it would be for the beginning, 'on the veranda,' but I wonder which season's word I should bring.

The tied obi puffs out, returning rainy season

The seasonal word is 'returning rainy season.'
Even though the rainy season has ended, there are times when it rains as if it hasn't finished. That is called a returning rainy season.
The 'tied obi' at the beginning refers to the obi tied on the back of a kimono like a back ornament. Since it is summer, in this case, it is likely a yukata's tied obi (though there is also the possibility of a summer kimono).
The point of this haiku is likely the phrasing 'puffs out' in the middle. The onomatopoeia 'pun' expresses the feeling of the tied obi being tied with a lot of space inside, and at the same time, it is structured so that it can also be taken as 'puffing out' in frustration at the 'returning rainy season' at the end—that is, the situation where one cannot go out to a festival or the like that one was looking forward to because it is raining.
Can't you picture a woman, or perhaps a child, wearing a yukata and looking up at the rainy sky with a resentful look, cheeks puffed out?
In haiku, the use of onomatopoeia is a technique that requires some care, but I feel it works very effectively in this poem. It was a magnificent haiku.

My child humming Aimyon, goldfish bowl

The seasonal word is 'goldfish bowl.' You might not see goldfish bowls hanging like this much lately. I might not have seen one either. It is a goldfish bowl designed to be hung from the eaves, and it is very cool, so please try searching for an image of it.
What kind of impression do you all have of Aimyon's songs? To me, they have a bright and positive impression. For example, the song 'Seishun to Seishun to Seishun,' which features goldfish in the lyrics, is a bit of a laid-back song, but it feels nostalgic while also looking toward the future.
The subject of the poem watches their child 'humming Aimyon' with a smile, and the scene of a goldfish bowl hanging there with colorful goldfish swimming while absorbing the brightness of the sun makes me feel what a bright and wonderful time it must be.
I felt it was very wonderful that you chose to use a goldfish bowl as the seasonal word, trusting in the power of the seasonal word. Magnificent.

The waterfall at the end of the mountain range's flow

The seasonal word for this haiku is 'waterfall' (bakufu). I suppose it is a side-word for a waterfall. When one says 'bakufu,' it brings to mind a waterfall that spreads out like a cloth from a wide area, like Niagara, rather than a single thin waterfall. It is a seasonal word with strong power that appeals to the five senses, such as the water spray flying around, the roaring sound of the falling water, and the temperature that feels several degrees cooler than the surroundings.
That waterfall is said to be 'at the end of the mountain range's flow.' It imagines the clear flow of water from distant mountain ranges on the other side of the waterfall. It is a poem that serves as a textbook example of how one can enclose such a vast world in 17 sounds.
The 'kana' at the end is a cutting word.
The flow gathered from the distant mountains has become a waterfall like this and is now right before my eyes... the 'kana' cutting word leaves a lingering resonance after that thought.
I am captivated. Magnificent.

Sunburn as much as I've gotten used to my new smartphone

The seasonal word is 'sunburn.' It is the quintessential summer seasonal word. I myself have gotten a deep tan at my real job, with only the area under my watch retaining its original whiteness.
The colloquial expression 'bought a new one' at the beginning resonates well with 'getting used to my smartphone' in the middle. While it is natural for colloquialisms to easily blend with something like a smartphone that has appeared in the last decade or so, I'm sure the author was conscious of that and deliberately chose this colloquial expression.
Of course, there are times when deliberately using a literary style creates poetry from that sense of incongruity, so neither is necessarily the correct answer. It is a matter of the spirit of an expresser who pays attention even to style and notation.
Now, anyway, what kind of smartphone is this new one? I think this haiku is equipped with a 'switch for imagination.' After all, what kind of smartphone is it that you get more used to it the more you get a sunburn, haha?
By being asked that, one's own image of a sunburn is brought to the surface. By the way, I imagine a sexy smartphone, lol.
Knowing it's Aki-chan, I'm convinced. I have respect for the various experiments in haiku. Magnificent.

General Review (Judging Criteria)

So, this time as well, I picked out the Jury's Award from all the submitted works, but I thought to myself that my selections are biased. The haiku of previous White Award winners remain in the selection this time as well. Well, in a sense, it means my evaluation hasn't wavered that much.

Regarding this judging, first, as always, I used the basics of haiku as the first sieve.
The first is that it follows the basics of haiku, which is having a seasonal word and a fixed form. (However, since the Everyone's Haiku Tournament is okay if it feels like summer, I took into account that early autumn seasonal words or no seasonal words are also acceptable.)
The second is not to put spaces in the 5-7-5. (Spaces that are necessary are an exception to this.)

The second sieve is a bit more difficult.
Roughly speaking, it means not saying what goes without saying, but to be a bit more specific, it means the following.
The first point is whether it is just an explanation of the seasonal word. Since a haiku only has seventeen sounds, the image entrusted to the seasonal word is significant, so unless you are emphasizing it, there is no need to go out of your way to include what is already conveyed by the seasonal word in the phrase. For example, 'enten' (blazing sky) or 'higari' (peak of summer heat) are hot without saying so, and shaved ice is cold.
The second point is whether worn-out expressions are being used. Proverbs, idioms, common onomatopoeia, personification, etc. Just like the first point, you don't need to say the sun is 'glaringly shining,' as that image is conveyed by the word 'sun' alone.

When I conduct the preliminary selection in this way, about 30% of the submitted haiku usually remain. Up to this point, I have been doing it quite mechanically.

Then, I read the rest carefully and repeatedly. I leave it for a few days and look at it again. In that sense, haiku submitted at the last minute might be at a slight disadvantage because they cannot be reviewed repeatedly. I narrow it down to about 30 haiku in this way.

From here on, it is a unique judging process for the Minna no Haiku Taikai (Everyone's Haiku Tournament), where I look again at the haiku that were not picked up by the two sieves. It is rare for a haiku dropped in the first sieve to be revived, but some haiku dropped in the second sieve are revived here.
I pick up ones that have novel ideas or leave some kind of impression.
That is how I choose from the approximately 35 haiku that remain.

My position as a judge

When choosing from 35 haiku, I am a bit conscious of my own position. I am in my second year of writing haiku. I am not good at impromptu composition, so I haven't written that many haiku, but if I collect them all, I have probably written 100 in a year, so I have written at least 200 (I'll count them sometime). As for appreciation, if I include the haiku from the Minna no Haiku Taikai, I think I have appreciated roughly 3,000 or more. This is a position where I am a beginner among haiku poets, but I know more about haiku than a complete novice.

As for the judges this time, Koki Kameyama-chan, Utsusupi-chan, and I are the ones who write haiku. And Mero-chan, Chiyo-chan, and Rira-chan are experts in other fields.
Works that have haiku proficiency and also play with haiku will likely be chosen by Koki-chan and Utsusupi-chan, and works that touch the heartstrings from the perspective of their respective fields of expertise should be chosen by Mero-chan, Chiyo-chan, and Rira-chan.

Therefore, I intend to choose works that are dead-on as haiku as much as possible.
The six haiku I chose in that way. I chose them all thinking, 'Wow, I wish I could write a haiku like this.'

Once again, thank you for the wonderful works.

White Award Winning Works

Not writing recovery on the tanzaku, flowers of the sala tree Umi no Chie

Time spent on the veranda alongside a turtle Koda Chiri

The tied obi puffed up, returning rainy season Chizu

My child humming Aimyon, goldfish bowl Suupu

A waterfall at the end of the mountain range's flow Kyodai Koro

Sunburned to the extent of getting used to the new smartphone Haneno Aki

Jury Award

Platinum Award, Gold Award, Silver Award

List of submissions