Sasa Cup White Selection

A book for a night when the winter moon keeps me awake

The seasonal word is winter moon. Related terms include "clear moon" and "frozen moon".

As can be sensed from the related terms (other forms of seasonal words, also known as sub-seasonal words), the seasonal word "winter moon" is a term that carries with it a sharp, piercing cold air, and a slight sense of loneliness. It is a seasonal word pregnant with such things.
And naturally, the moment you see this seasonal word, "the image of a moon shining brightly in a clear, cloudless sky" emerges as an unshakable visual.
By placing this seasonal word at the beginning of the poem (kami-go), the reader is instantly drawn into the world of the haiku.

"A book for a night when I cannot sleep" in the middle and end sections

The author has likely spent sleepless nights before. Perhaps they will again in the future. That is precisely why they have a book to read on such a night.

If you try changing the particles, for example to "a book 'of' a sleepless night" or "a book 'for the time' of a sleepless night," the effect becomes clear. "For" (tame) creates a depth, and in turn, I catch a glimpse of the author's attention to detail, even down to the function of every single particle.

Also, ending with "a book for a night when I cannot sleep," using a taigen-dome (noun-ending), is effective in creating a lingering resonance.

For example, if you were to write "I read a book on a sleepless night under the winter moon," it would sound somewhat explanatory, and you would end up viewing the poem with a cold eye, thinking, "Oh, this person reads books when they can't sleep." It is precisely because of the noun-ending that a margin for imagination is born, and the reader recalls their own "sleepless night" as if it were their own experience.

Now, what kind of book would be suitable for such a sleepless night?

Is it a difficult book that forces you to sleep? Or perhaps a foreign picture book that soothes your heart like a magic spell? There is a book for every reader.

I think it might be a book like Nietzsche's, one that looks at the self and encourages it, affirming that it is fine to be just as you are.

The winter moon seasonal word resonates with the figure of the author spending a "sleepless night," and the reader's perspective shifts from the winter moon to the book, and then back from the book to the winter moon shining brightly in the night sky. Brilliant.

Ending a love affair with a pseudonym and the north wind

The seasonal word is north wind. While it can be written as "kitakaze" and read as "kita," here it seems natural to read it as "kitakaze to" in line with colloquial haiku.

The north wind is a cold, dry wind that brings coldness from the continent.

The north wind is in the three months of winter, and it is truly THE winter seasonal word.

In the middle and lower phrases, "I have finished a love affair under a pseudonym." The expression "love affair under a pseudonym" is truly
the author's discovery. What kind of love is a love that can only be had under a pseudonym? In this day and age, it might be someone you met on social media and call each other by handle names. Is it a fleeting love, like one you happened to encounter while traveling? My imagination just keeps expanding. Such a love, the north wind "

and", has just now been brought to an end. What does it mean to have put a period to a relationship that was continued while feeling the transience of a love under a pseudonym?

If it were only the phrasing "I have finished a love affair under a pseudonym," it might be possible to interpret it not just as a "parting," but also as the start of a love affair under one's "real name" from here on out.

However, the seasonal word "north wind" acts to force the reader to accept that this is a "parting". It is a haiku in colloquial language that feels like a snippet cut out of a novel, but

the author's intent is embedded even in the details. Well done.

Frozen earth and the deep eye sockets of a boy soldier

The seasonal word is frozen earth
. You may have heard of "permafrost," which is frozen soil found in the northern parts of continents or high mountain ranges that does not melt even in summer. Soil that has frozen solid because moisture has solidified due to the severe winter cold is called

frozen earth. It can be said to be a word at the opposite extreme from warmth. Combined with that is the middle and lower phrase, "deep eye sockets of a boy soldier." I misread this at first too, but

eye socket

is not eye light. It is the "hole" where the eyeball is located.

If the eye light were deep, one might have found some kind of intention there, such as sorrow or sadness.

However, an eye socket is, so to speak, a void. It is a hole in the skull.

In other words, in the eyes of the boy soldier, there is only an inorganic, deep nothingness. This haiku is a type of

two-object collision. It is a haiku-making method that aims for the impact of clashing a seasonal word with other phrasing at an exquisite distance.

Naturally, if the images are too close, the impact of this method is weak.

For example, even if you combine a seasonal word with a warm, cozy image like "spring serenity" with a first date, there is little surprise.

Conversely, even if you attach a seasonal word like "god's journey" to a first date, the approach distance is too far, and there is no impact either.

To deliver a strong shock that makes one think, "Ah, once you combine them like that, you can't think of any other combination!" requires an exquisite sense of distance.

In that sense, the combination of "frozen earth" and "deep eye sockets of a boy soldier" was an exquisite distance where each brought out the other. Well done.

Bouncing and leaping, a handball against the blue sky

The seasonal word is handball. It is a New Year's seasonal word. Even though both are in winter, while winter has a somewhat lonely impression, many New Year's seasonal words are bright, filled with joy at welcoming the new year. (According to my research, lol)

A handball is a plaything with vivid colors made of colored thread. Therefore, along with the handball as a physical object, images such as the appearance of children playing happily with the handball, a bouncing sense of elation, and a sense of dynamism also overlap. This haiku uses the power of that seasonal word pleasantly.

The author's attention to detail is evident in the choice to write '翔ぶ' (to soar) instead of the standard '跳ね飛ぶ' (to jump/fly). To soar means to flap one's wings and fly high into the sky, a way of flying like that.

Also, the term ao-tenjo (blue ceiling/sky-high) is interesting. It is a term often used in finance, used when the value is rising rapidly and shows no signs of stopping, as in 'my stocks are growing sky-high.'

Since the ceiling is blue, meaning there is no ceiling, it is a term that refers to a state with no upper limit, likening the blue sky to a ceiling.

Therefore, when I read this haiku, I imagined a hand-ball rising high against a backdrop of a vast blue sky, with me and my friends looking up at it from below.

In the air, the colorful hand-ball sparkles as it reflects the sunlight. I am filled with a sense of exhilaration as I look up at it.

It is such a pleasant and bright haiku, but the fact that the author is Temari-chan adds even more depth to it.

Using one's own name, which is an extension of oneself, as the main seasonal word in the poem suggests that the author's strong feelings are embedded within it. If so, this haiku is nothing less than Temari-chan's determination that 'I will make a great leap forward this year.'

It is a bright and refreshing haiku that even reveals the author's determination; it was a piece that I enjoyed for its layers that reveal more the more you read it. Well done.

Biting my chapped lips on a winter night

The author, Neeton-chan, explains in the article that it is meant literally, but I think this is a clever haiku that makes good use of a double meaning. The seasonal word is

winter night. While not strictly concrete, it is a seasonal word that evokes clear air, the appearance of a crisp moon and stars, a dignified feeling, and at the same time, coldness and loneliness.

On such a winter night, the author combines the action of 'biting chapped lips'.

The phrase 'chapped lips' brings to mind lips that are dry and flaky in winter, with skin peeling off in places.
The sense of vocabulary choice is excellent, as it allows one to feel not only the visual but also the tactile sensation of the lips.

And then, one bites those lips.

If you are bothered by the chapping and bite your lips to peel off the skin, you might accidentally bite off a part that wasn't peeling, causing it to bleed. Anyone with dry lips can imagine this from experience, and you can almost feel the taste of blood and the pain.

While this is a haiku with a real scene, at the same time, the words 'chapped' and 'biting lips' can be read with another, abstract meaning.

To say one's heart is chapped evokes a heart that is dry and lacking moisture, feeling prickly due to some painful or unbelievable experience, such a heart.

Also, the phrase biting one's lips is used when one feels frustrated or is gritting their teeth to endure something.

Therefore, when reading this haiku, the image of someone on a winter night holding onto some painful, frustrating, and helpless feelings while biting their lips comes vividly to mind.

In other words, by using an expression similar to the waka technique of kakekotoba (pivot word), depth is created in the haiku. Well done.

Dividing a meat bun, steam for two

There is no seasonal word in this haiku. Or rather, it is a haiku that uses words that might become seasonal words in the future.

If you peek into a future saijiki (almanac of seasonal words), the seasonal words 'meat bun' and 'steam' might be listed.
Perhaps regarding 'steam', there is already a seasonal word called 'steaming' (a humidifier, or a kettle on a stove, etc.), so it is not impossible that steam is already adopted in some saijiki.

　In that sense, it is a challenging haiku, but considering the power of a steamed meat bun , I think it is safe to treat it as a seasonal word lol

　Since they are sharing a steamed meat bun, they must be in a fairly close relationship .

　Also, from the steam rising, one can imagine it is still a piping hot steamed meat bun .

　There are specialty shops for steamed meat buns in town, but I have an image of someone feeling a bit hungry, stopping by a convenience store to warm up, and buying one.

　As soon as they leave the convenience store, they break it in two and hand it over casually. The steam that puffed out from the inside the moment it was broken is now gently rising from the buns in their respective hands.

　You can see that a steamed meat bun is a power word that stimulates all five senses: sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell .

　Furthermore, the warmth of the steamed meat bun and the contrast with the cold air visible in the rising steam, the double image of the warmth of the relationship between the two and the warmth of the steamed meat bun , and the choice of words that leaves room for imagination , it is delightful how everything is calculated.

　It is worthy of admiration that such a wealth of information is conveyed in simple words without using flowery language. Well done.

General Review

　Unlike the previous tournament, I visited the articles from the submission stage for this one. Although there were some articles I couldn't check due to being busy in real life, I have looked through about half of them.

　I thought I might not be able to appreciate them because I would be influenced by the content of the articles, but that fear was unfounded. Thanks to my memory, which forgets whose haiku it was and what the self-explanation was after just one look at the article, I was able to appreciate them with a fresh perspective 😏

　There are still some places I haven't visited yet, so I will drop by and leave some likes later lol

The judging for this tournament was also difficult.

　In my judging, after carefully appreciating everything once , I start by narrowing down the haiku from the perspective of 'White' that I announced in advance.

　For the perspective of 'White' (seasonal word in fixed form, grammar/notation, and discovery), see this article below↓

　First is seasonal word in fixed form . I basically eliminate those without seasonal words, those with overlapping seasonal words, or those with the wrong season. However, even if it is not 5-7-5, or if it is a broken rhythm or extra syllables, I keep those where the seasonal word is the main focus and effective.

　Next is notation . I also quickly eliminate those with a mix of colloquial and literary notation, those with questionable classical grammar, and those with incorrect words or coined words used just to fit the syllable count.

　However, everyone learned haiku well and participated this time, so almost nothing was eliminated at this stage.

　So, the third point, the discovery part, becomes the center of the judging.

As I mentioned in the article above because it is difficult to understand, I will be choosing haiku that are "not just reports or clichés." That is what I mean.

This part is easy to understand if you look at the Monday section of the Haiku Post where Sensei Natsui from Pre-bat acts as the selector, so I will quote it briefly as an example of how to think about it.

https://haikutown.jp/post/result/other-monday.php?k_no=268

Sensei Natsui's comments on the submissions for the November 20th assigned topic "Narcissus"

◆ Winter Kigo "Narcissus" Cliché Patterns

How about that? I wonder if you can somehow understand what I am trying to say.

Of course, these clichés are not bad, but they are at the level where if you realize it is a cliché and add one more twist to give it originality, it will become even better. Rather, the fact that it is a cliché means it is easy to visualize, and it is certainly true that if you use that well, you can gain the empathy of everyone.

That balance is... and speaking of which, I am also wandering between "cliché" and "trying to be eccentric" lol

Returning to the judging, even after narrowing it down that much, about 50 haiku remained.

Honestly speaking, at this point, I cannot rank them at my level. That is because all of them are wonderful as works. From here on is further suffering (though it is a fun suffering that improves my appreciation skills lol).

What I added here is the tournament concept of "Let's become a wind of kindness." I interpreted this subtitle in my own way and selected haiku that embodied a perspective of self-affirmation, compassion for others, brightness of expression, and a warm atmosphere, such haiku styles.

As a result, although it was painful, I was able to narrow it down to about 20 haiku.

When I looked at the authors of the haiku there, there were cases where I selected multiple haiku by the same author, so I chose one haiku per author for those.

And the rest is just preference😏

These 6 haiku were judged through such a process.

Now, while looking at the spin-off "Arbitrary XX Award," I am muttering to myself, "Yes, yes, that haiku was also good, to be able to discover that, as expected!"

Just as the haiku I chose was this one, everyone must have had a haiku that resonated with them individually.

I think that is the wonderful thing about the "Everyone's Haiku Tournament."

I, too, hope to one day compose a haiku that reaches someone's heart.

Click here for other judge's awards!