Friends are the best, let's make more friends and live a lively life

A story about how I changed, having always felt that I had no friends. Even if you think you dislike hanging out in groups, human relationships will surely give you something precious.

A story about a gathering called an Irish session

Two or three times a year, I gather with music-loving friends in a park gazebo, bringing our instruments. We meet a little before noon, spread out the snacks we've brought, chat, play our instruments, and disperse before the sun goes down.

This past weekend was an autumn day that had started to get a bit chilly, with weather that saw the sun peeking through the cloudy sky from time to time. Fortunately, the wind wasn't strong. A total of eight friends, including myself, who share a hobby of playing Irish music, gathered. The age range was a bit high, probably averaging around 50, so at 30, I was the youngest this time. There were company employees, self-employed people, and full-time homemakers. The instruments were five fiddles, two concertinas, and one person who just kept eating the snacks empty-handed.

Some of you may be hearing the instrument names "fiddle" and "concertina" for the first time. First, the concertina is a small, hexagonal bellows instrument used in Irish music and other genres. I could go on forever about this, so I will just leave a link to my performance video here. (Added later: I wrote an introductory article about the concertina!)

Next, a fiddle is a violin. As a physical instrument, it is identical to a violin, but because the performance style and historical context are different, it is called a fiddle in folk music, including Irish music. People often think that the violin is a difficult instrument that you can't play unless you've been learning it since you were a child, but in the world of Irish music, there are plenty of people who started playing the fiddle as adults. (For those who know the violin, to be a bit more specific, most traditional Irish tunes can be played entirely in the first position, so such high technical skill is not required.)

Irish music has a culture called a "session." This is an interesting gathering where people with instruments get together and play tunes they all know one after another without even looking at sheet music. Sessions are traditionally held in Irish pubs where local people gather, or they can be held privately in the corner of someone's kitchen or living room. The gathering we had in the park this time is one of the countless casual sessions that exist all over the world.

I never thought I would make friends

Grown adults spreading out snacks in a park on a sunny day and playing instruments happily. To put it mildly, I think it's the best.

I was originally not very good at dealing with people, so I kept my distance from groups of people at school and at work. When I see people hanging out in groups of more than two in the city, I wonder, "What's going on??" I didn't have any close personal friends either.

It was only after I encountered the Irish music community that I became somewhat more sociable and made friends I was personally close with. Irish music has a large traditional repertoire, and as long as you know the tunes, you can enjoy playing together at the same table even with people you've just met. Because of the unique nature of the music being composed almost entirely of melody instruments (the rhythm is contained within the melody, so it works even without rhythm instruments like bass or drums), there are almost no restrictions on the combination of instruments.

As you keep showing up to places where you play instruments, you naturally find people you talk to often, and some of them become close friends personally. You make friends with whom you can talk about life while eating dinner at home, unrelated to music. Even if it doesn't go that far, you make many moderately close music friends. If you walk around with an instrument, you can find opportunities to talk to countless people, such as a stranger sitting next to you at an Irish pub counter, or someone walking their dog who happened to notice the sound of the instrument while you were practicing in the park.

Let's increase our friends around the world

Based on my own experience, the story would be "Irish music is incredibly fun! Start playing an instrument right now!!", but since what people like and what they are good at varies from person to person, I will talk a bit more generally.

Hobbies are fun even when you're alone, but it's even more fun to share them with people who like the same things. Also, people who enjoy their company life say that they enjoy working together with various people in an organization to move things forward. Whether it's something you love or something difficult, doing things with others can be a great joy.

You might think, "People who say 'let's make lots of friends' are the type who never had trouble making friends in the first place, right?" But as I mentioned earlier, I am not that type of person. I prefer being alone no matter what I do, and I am not at all the type who is good at socializing. I am the kind of person who loses the desire to go to even fun events or tourist spots just because there are a lot of people there.

Even for a person like that, human relationships are a great source of joy. Now that I no longer feel like I am alone in this world, I think that if this were taken away from me again, I probably wouldn't be able to live.

For that reason, I would like to encourage everyone to make lots of friends. At first, you will probably make various mistakes. Even people who are good at socializing learn these things by making mistakes, so those who are not good at it will make even more. Still, please try your best. It is worth doing even if it is a struggle. You can take the plunge and start a new hobby, or you can start by just expanding your interactions on the social media you always use.

If you have the courage to talk to someone, something will surely begin. Just as it happened for me, I hope you will be blessed with many friends in the future.

Related books and articles

Shiroi Books' previous publications

Believe it or not, I've published a book based on the experiences I wrote about in this article! It's titled "A Guide to Continuing and Improving Musical Instruments for Working Adults: From Habitual Practice to Deepening Musicality" and is written for people who want to start playing an instrument as a hobby after becoming adults.

Paperback version and Kindle version are now on sale to great acclaim, and those who are subscribed to Kindle Unlimited can read the entire book for free. Also, there is a sample reading version on note, so please be sure to check it out!

Related articles: From "Living Better"

• The story of how the person sitting next to me at work became a dear friend (2023.11.26)

• The intensity of emotions has little to do with loving someone (2024.1.6)

• It's okay to be bad at it, just do something; do you intend to go to your grave without having accomplished anything? (2024.2.3)

Related articles: From "Short Essays"

• Ghosts and Lovers (2024.6.24)

• My close friend and non-Euclidean geometry (2024.6.26)

• On the sense of change and expansion (2024.8.8)

Related articles: From the blog

• If you want to know love, you should live with animals (2023.10.17)

• There are more people waiting for invitations than you think (2023.11.20)

• People with good personalities are the best, everyone should try to have a good personality too (2023.11.22)