From a Midnight Mom

👶 Sorry for crying while you were crying💦 (Reflections)

I wasn't used to parenting yet,
I was cornered by the nightly crying,
and I was exhausted during that time.

I regret scolding you while you were crying your heart out,
just because of my own emotions.

You were crying so loudly because you were so sad,
and there was no way you could even hear my voice.

I just had to say what I wanted to say,
I was being selfish.
I'm sorry for being a self-centered mom.
The guilt of having done something terrible never goes away.

I should have waited until you stopped crying,
waited until your heart was calm,
and after reading your favorite picture book and seeing you smile,
I should have told you why it wasn't okay.

I couldn't be kind to you when you were crying in sadness,
and this useless mom still feels the pain in her heart and reflects on it.

You might say it's too late now,
but the feeling of blaming myself still hasn't gone away.
I'm sorry.
I will carry this with me forever.

(A mother's letter of reflection to her son)

💎 Learning from failure (Understanding)

If you try to unilaterally express your thoughts to someone
who is extremely angry,
very irritated,
or suffering and cornered,
it will only
” increase their anger, irritation, or sadness even more
.

At such times,
it is impossible to calmly accept and understand
a completely different type of thinking or logic,
and in the first place, they probably wouldn't even have the heart to accept it.

Wouldn't it just be inflicting pain?

Without being close to the other person's painful state of mind,
'conveying your own feelings'is prioritized,
and even if you force your own selfish words onto them,
it will only make things worse.

Because those words are for your own sake,
and not words to save the person who is suffering.

That selfishness is seen through by the other person,
and the relationship will only deteriorate further.

After many failures, that is how I have come to think.

Of course, there are cases where that is not the case.
Sometimes, words can be the catalyst for making up. (^^♪

💖 What should I do? (Action)

1. Let the pain out

It is important to first vent your anger, frustration, and pain
to the fullest extent.

I think you will start to feel better if you convert your feelings into frank words
that match your emotions as much as possible and let them out of your body.

For pain that cannot be put into words,
it is best to leave it alone until it can be expressed.
If you force yourself to replace it with different words, you won't feel relieved because of the discomfort. ( ；∀；)

2. Create space (room) in your heart

By letting your anger, frustration, and pain
out of both your body and mind,
the pain and suffering will gradually decrease.

Along with that,
I think your heart will calm down.

As the pain leaves,
and you create free space within yourself,
the capacity to accept other people's words
will also gradually emerge.
Naturally, your attitude toward listening should also fall into place.

3. This is important 👍

For people who do not value you,
people who do not try to face you,
people who try to leave things to others or blame others,
and people who force unreasonable things on you,
it is also an option to reconsider your relationship with them, using this painful experience as a turning point.

People don't change that easily,
so similar things will keep happening,
and you will end up completely worn out. ( ；∀；)

It's okay to take your time without rushing,
so please ask your heart
whether this is a relationship you really want to continue forever.

4. Me lately

For those who are feeling down because something sad happened,
I have come to want to first be there for that pain.

For those who are struggling and at their limit,
concrete advice on how to recover is unnecessary,
(I'm sure I wouldn't be able to think of any clever words anyway💦)
and it might actually become a burden instead.

First, it is very important to let out the pain and sadness right in front of you
and work through it.

Since the process of grieving is also a valuable experience,
there is no need to take shortcuts.

There is nothing that is a waste.
Do not block the important flow,
just let it flow as it will✨

Oh, that's right!
It is important that we don't push ourselves too hard.
If you try to help when you don't have the capacity yourself,
you might end up going down together( ；∀；)

Even though you surely wanted to help because they are someone you love,
there is a possibility that a precious connection might be severed,
leaving only painful memories behind.

Also,
reaching out to everyone
is a burden both physically and psychologically.
Please do so within your own capacity at the time👍

Hehe, so it means don't push yourself( *´艸｀)

⭐ Daily updates (Important)

It is also important to
update yourself every day, isn't it?👍

It's okay to have a different opinion than you did yesterday.

Surely, you had an experience that led to that different opinion.

Let's confidently retract our previous statements
and keep updating ourselvesヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ

Today's self,
who has accumulated one more day of experience
than yesterday, is even more wonderful🎶

I hope I can live my life like that( *´艸｀)

Based in part on [Omoshin] It's Okay Even for Beginners (2022/02/06),
this has been significantly expanded and edited.

Thank you so much for reading until the end❣