The 'Whatever' Philosophy #2 | The Retirement Benefit Table and the Feelings in the Drawer

A colleague of mine was talking about “I want to quit already,” and in the course of that conversation, I received a retirement benefit calculation table. It was the real deal, complete with the “basis for calculation.”

The result was, “Wouldn't it be better to work for another 15 years?”

we talked about that, but we just looked at each other and ended it with “That’s impossible.”
Honestly, when I was told about my illness, the first thing I thought was, “I should quit because I’ll be a burden to the workplace.” But my doctor told me, “I don’t recommend quitting your job.” They said, “You’ve covered for others when they were taking time off, so you are allowed to use the system yourself.” Those words helped me come to terms with taking time off for surgery. However, since I’ve been told it’s an incurable illness, the question of “when to quit” is always somewhere in the back of my mind. I had been thinking of five years as a rough target as long as I’m alive, but when I saw the table I was given, I learned that medical retirement and voluntary resignation are treated the same, which shook me a little. “It’s not like I wanted to get sick,”

I thought, but I decided to continue working with a “five-year countdown” in mind for now. Then, I told a friend at work,

“I want to set it up so that a number appears above my head saying ‘Remaining: X years, X months, X days, X hours, X minutes, X seconds.’”


When I said that, they replied, “No, why not make it a system where you can’t see it yourself, but others can?” and we got excited saying, “That’s a great idea!” But that was short-lived. After thinking for a moment, that friend said with a straight face,


“No, but seriously, while working, I’d end up being curious and glancing at it all the time.” “Actually, it would feel even longer! Don’t start the countdown until it’s closer!”



—Certainly, anyone would get tired if they were counting down five years. The moment I turned the remaining time display on, my motivation would definitely hit zero. By the way, that retirement benefit table is in the very front of my drawer. The friend who gave it to me apparently keeps it tucked under their desk mat. It’s a piece of paper that I want to keep in a visible place, but if possible, don’t want to look at.

Conclusion: I’ll keep the countdown above my head hidden. I’m working today with a “whatever” attitude.