At my daughter's 18-month checkup, the person I ended up talking about was my 6-year-old son.

Good evening, this is Shinya.
Today, I'd like to talk about my daughter's 18-month checkup that took place the other day.

I went to pick up only my daughter from daycare while the other children were still in the classroom.

As I walked through the gate, I felt a strange sensation.
It was similar to that light-footed feeling I had back in my school days when I had to leave the classroom early for some reason.
It felt like I was living in a different time than everyone else who was still in class.

◾️ Familiar venue, familiar faces

When I arrived at the venue, I was surprised to see the usual faces.
Dental check, medical check, and developmental screening by pointing.
Living in a small town, I feel grateful for moments like these.
The doctor in charge was someone I knew, and they peered at my daughter's face and said, "You've grown so much."
That alone made the tension in my shoulders melt away.
Her height and weight were on track, and she's eating well.

There didn't seem to be any particular concerns.

When asked, "Do you have any concerns?", I...

"Do you have any concerns?"

When asked that, I hesitated for a moment.
Even though they were asking about my daughter, for some reason, my son's face came to mind.
Before I knew it, I was talking about my son.

I am an only child, so I don't really understand what it's like to have siblings.
That's precisely why I've wanted to be as equal as possible with both of my children.

But a four-year age gap is heavier than I thought.

Requests and demands for patience inevitably lean toward my older child.
My daughter, still unable to distinguish right from wrong, sometimes gets physical.
As the big brother, he should be able to fight back, but he doesn't.

◾️ The collapsed Lego and his quiet way of coping

Sometimes, my daughter will innocently knock over the Lego set he worked so hard to build.
While he used to try to take it back at first, he's different lately.

He gently offers a different toy to his sister, who looks like she's about to cry.
He diverts her attention to a different activity for a while.
It's not that he doesn't feel like getting angry, but he doesn't show it.
It was his own quiet way of coming to terms with things, in his own 6-year-old way.

◾️ It doesn't have to be equal, it should be fair

To avoid playing favorites, I've tried to scold them the same amount, praise them the same amount, and hug them the same amount.

That's how I thought I was aiming for "equality."

But perhaps measuring a 6-year-old and a 2-year-old with the same yardstick was impossible from the start.
Their physical strength is different, and the way they hold a conversation is different.
My son has his own patience to bear, and for my daughter, the very word "patience" doesn't even register yet.

If that's the case, I think what I should aim for isn't equality, but fairness.
Not giving them the same things in the same amounts, but giving each of them what they need, in the amount they need it right now.

When my son wants affection, I want to make sure I give him my full attention.

As for my daughter, she demands affection relentlessly whether I leave her alone or not.

🌿 [Daily Life] How to spend comfortable, casual days
This is a record of the kind of ordinary, everyday life where I ended up talking about my 6-year-old son at my daughter's 18-month checkup. In our busy daily lives, how do we protect the 'space and comfort of family'? I write about these down-to-earth dad reflections here.

🏨 [Extraordinary] How to have a comfortable stay at Hoshino Resorts with children
This is a record of family trips where we step away from our daily routine for a little while. I've compiled the realistic atmosphere of visiting with children, along with tips for a comfortable trip where neither parents nor children have to push themselves.

🌲 [Practical] How to spend time comfortably in Karuizawa
As someone who lives in this town, I've compiled practical wisdom to make casual time with family a little more comfortable, such as tips for shopping at Tsuruya without making mistakes. From daily records to deep know-how, the formats vary, but if you ever have the chance to visit Karuizawa, please take a look with a cup of tea in hand.

I write with a focus on the realistic atmosphere of the moment rather than perfect know-how or travel plans.
Please take a break and browse through my other articles while you enjoy a cup of tea.

#ParentingDiary #ChildRearing #RaisingSiblings #SiblingParenting #ParentingEssay #18MonthCheckup #AgeGapSiblings #FairnessOverEquality #KaruizawaLife #DualIncomeParenting