Isn't it about time you put yourself first?

Before I knew it, I was always putting myself last.
Instead of what I wanted to do,
I chose what I 'had to do'.
That became so normal that I never even questioned it.


Even though I'm used to acting for the sake of others,
for some reason, I feel guilty when I spend time on myself.
When did that feeling get ingrained in me?

'It can wait until later'
'I'll do it after I finish what I need to do first'

If I think about it, I feel like I've lived my whole life that way.

Studying instead of wanting to play
Eating instead of watching TV
Taking a bath instead of talking on the phone with friends

When I was a child, that was just how things were.

And as I became an adult,
it continued even more naturally,
and even more unconsciously.

If there was work, my own plans were pushed back.
Even if I was tired, I prioritized household chores.
Days spent choosing 'what I should do' over 'what I want to do'.

Even after getting married,
even after having children,

that pattern has continued without ever breaking.

But, I suddenly wonder,

'How long am I going to keep doing this?'

In truth, I already realize it.

That I am a little tired,
that there are things I actually want to do,
and that I want to prioritize myself.

And,
that I don't want to keep living
with the same priorities as I have now.

For example,

Going to lunch with friends on my day off,
dropping by an art museum on my way home from work,
or just going into a cafe to read a book.

Even though none of these are extraordinary things,
somewhere inside, I feel like,
I'm putting on the brakes, wondering, 'Is it really okay to do this?'

But if you stop and think about it,
is there really anyone who would be truly troubled by that?

Prioritizing yourself
is not the same as neglecting someone else.

I think it's about properly bringing yourself back to the front,
after having put yourself on the back burner for so long.

It's okay to finally call yourself to the very front,
the self you've kept waiting in the back for so long,
and say, 'Please, go ahead to the front.'

Will you continue to keep putting yourself last
just as you have until now?

Or
will you start changing your priorities, even if just a little?

The answer to that
is already within you.

'Isn't it about time?'

We all have times when we put ourselves last, don't we?


Thank you for reading until the end.
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