An Elderly Couple—Living Side by Side Without Forgiveness

Just because you have spent a long time together,
it does not mean everything becomes a beautiful memory.

In fact, what remains until the very end—
is often the emotions we swallowed and kept inside.

An elderly couple has a history.

“We are even”
—that is a history that cannot be settled with just those words.

There is gratitude, too.
Certainly, there were days I was able to overcome because this person was there.

However.

In the time we have lived together,

I cannot say that there was not
a single night I cried alone.

My body remembers the moments
when I felt lonely even though you were right beside me.

A casual remark made without thinking.
I will never forget it for the rest of my life,
but you do not even remember saying it.

That was the weight it held,
I realized back then.

Even so, time flows on.

Life is too long to keep being angry,
and life is too short to break things apart now.

That is why people

learn to act as if nothing happened.

It is not that I have forgiven you.
It is not that I have forgotten, either.

I have simply

stopped saying it.

Because I have learned that even if I say it, nothing will return to the way it was.

The quietness of an elderly couple

is not the result of mutual understanding,

but perhaps a balance maintained by not overstepping boundaries.

Is it resignation?
Or is it kindness?

Even I no longer know.

Even so,

I am by your side.

Even if I wonder why,
no clear answer emerges.

It might be love.
It might be affection.
Or perhaps,

it is simply that I cannot pretend at this late stage
that the fact we have lived together this long never happened.

An elderly couple is
not a pair who have forgiven everything.

They are a pair who have chosen to stay by each other's side
while still carrying memories they could not forgive.

Because I know that if I were to express all my true feelings,
it would surely break us...

Today, too,

I sit by your side, pretending to know nothing.

That,

is not the final form of love,

but I believe it is a kind of quiet coexistence
that only those who have survived without breaking can reach.

Thank you for reading until the end.
Will you—
tell your partner who is by your side at the end
your true feelings?
Or will you stay by their side without telling them?
Your likes, follows, and comments are a great encouragement.

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