Time to Question Myself Based on the Characteristics I Discovered Through Work

I quit my job as a company employee and became a freelancer when I married my husband, who is often transferred for work.
While valuing the insights I gain from my daily work and life, I pause from time to time to write down what I feel and how my heart moves.
I write this as a record of tracing my own thought process, not just stopping at superficial events, but re-grasping the structures and backgrounds behind them, and slowly unraveling 'why I feel this way' and 'why I think this way'.

Well, I've changed my opening greeting~~

Today is a bit of a change in direction, or rather, it might feel closer toadding a perspectivethan changing direction.

Two years have passed since I became a freelancer.
I was reflecting on myself while thinking about how a lot has happened, and I realized thatmy greatest strength is the depth of my thinkingso today I will write about the process of my thinking that led to that.

I think being a freelancer means spending every day racking your brain, squeezing out wisdom, and going through trial and error, whether you like it or not. I love thisthinking with my own headpart.
Two years later, I feel that I have grown tremendously and am walking a more independent path than the version of myself I imagined when I was a company employee!!

This is not because I originally had talent or ability, but because Idid not neglect thinking with my own headthat I believe I am where I am.

From now on, I would like to make the content focus on my thought processes, with work as the central axis.

Ultimately, both how you work and how you want to be can only be found within yourself.

Until now, I have mainly written about my own experiences working as a freelancer.

In my case, I am writing not just about simple experiences, but about the thought processes that lie deeper within me through work, such as the characteristics and ways of thinking I see from them, as well as social structures and organizational characteristics.

Since choosing the freelance way of working, I think I have been able to see my own characteristics more than ever before.
In a way of working that should be free, I conversely see my own 'particularities'.

I have come to reflect more often on the flow that I feel is 'natural', the environment and space where I feel comfortable, the points I am strongly particular about, and the small emotions and realizations I feel every day.

And I am keenly feelingthe difficulty of living without wavering from my own core!

While I am still in the middle of searching for that myself, I think it is necessary for me to do the work of
not just stopping at superficial events, but re-grasping the structures and backgrounds behind them, and slowly unraveling 'why I feel this way' and 'why I think this way'as I mentioned at the beginning, with 'work' as the axis.

This is because since becoming a freelancer, I have often been so busy with the daily grind that I have been fully occupied with just getting through each day, even though my profession is one where facing myself is the most important thing.

Even though I felt my own realizations and the subtleties of my heart, I feel like Ispent my days without being able to fully digest thembecause I had neither the time nor the leeway to think about them slowly.

The thing I felt most after becoming a freelancer is thatthe answers to how you work and how you want to be can only be found within yourself!
People say various things like living by doing what you love, finding what you want to do, or doing work that utilizes your strengths, but I think that to reach that point, you have to dig deep into yourself andmake each choice carefully.

From now on, I will leave behind my thought processes just like that.

My characteristics that have become visible since becoming a freelancer

As I wrote in the beginning, there are things that gradually become visible while working as a freelancer.

This is paradoxical, but I think it's something that becomes easier to see precisely because you are free.
What is freedom, anyway? Because I can work freely, the range of what I can see and handle expands, and consequently, there is more to think about.

When I was a company employee, there were organizational rules, and I was always thinking about how I could fit into them. When there are rules, it's decided that things are just that way, so you don't think about them deeply. In fact, I feel like I didn't even have the concept of thinking about what had become a rule.
That's probably why organizations function and many people are able to act as a group.

After leaving an organization, I feel like I finally understood the true meaning of what makes an organization.

In my current way of working, I decide all the rules myself.
Even as a freelancer, in a situation where I choose to work with companies, the fact that I think about so many things makes me realize that self-employed people and company executives must be facing an unbelievable number of judgments, decisions, and future considerations every single day.

Today, I will throw out some things I've realized are my own characteristics from my time working as a freelancer as questions to myself!

Questions posed from my collection of characteristic words

While working as a freelancer, I have been keeping notes on things I've encountered and noticed.
I call it “My Collection of Characteristic Words”!!!

Some of these came from within me, but it feels like I have been accumulating things that struck me while reading books, watching TV or YouTube, checking the news, or seeing other people's posts and content in the various information I encounter every day.

When looking at each word individually, they don't seem to connect to me much, but when I collect this many, I feel like the atmosphere of what I value, what I find comfortable, and what I am not good at starts to come through.

My Collection of Characteristic Words

The reason I am often told that my thinking is deep is probably related to this “structuring”.
→ There is a structure in my head, and when I enter a structure different from my own, I get very tired and drained.

Within that structure, there is something like my own logic, and I feel comfortable when that is understood.
→ I realize that among the people I work with, it's not about their personality, but rather that working with people whose logic doesn't match mine creates discomfort.

There is also consistency in the relationship between my inside and outside, and this balance is important.
→ I have clear boundaries toward others, but I also have internal boundaries that are like air and invisible to others.

Process, meaning, background, and structure are things I value, and the fact that they are multi-layered leads to my intellectual curiosity.
→ Everything I find interesting (intriguing) is when these are satisfied.

Like this, if I want to break things down, I can break them down as much as I want.
I have always liked thinking about things like this, but I feel like I have been thinking even more deeply since I became a freelancer.

While it is true that I can now see a world that was previously invisible to me (my horizons have broadened), I feel that the fact that my depth has changed is more significant.

By physically interacting with various industries and people, my horizons broadened, and perhaps because of that, the points I consider have increased, and my depth has grown accordingly.

In any case, this deep dive into myself has shaped who I am today and serves as the foundation for my current work as a freelancer.

Strengths and weaknesses are not immediately apparent, and as for what kind of work suits me or what I want to do, these are things I have to keep digging for.

Moving forward, based on my own experiences and original insights, I hope to write articles that delve much deeper into my thoughts, documenting my thought process while providing hints so that many people can have the freedom to choose and live their lives proactively.

Thank you for reading until the end.

Simba🦁