[Part 1] What is meditation, really? Why it's not about 'becoming nothing' | [Habits for Balance]
“I hear meditation is good for you.”
Even if you’ve heard that,
“But it seems kind of difficult.”
“I can’t clear my mind, so it might not be for me.”
I think many people feel this way and just leave it at that.
I was the same way for a long time.
In this article,
for those who are “vaguely interested but don’t really get it,”
I will try to explain the true meaning of meditation and mindfulness as clearly as possible.
First, I want to break one common misconception.
“Meditation is about becoming nothing, right?”
This is what almost everyone thinks at first.
Closing your eyes, emptying your mind, and reducing distracting thoughts to zero
—that’s the image.
But, I’ll be honest with you.
There is almost no one who can truly become nothing.
While meditating,
things like “What should I have for dinner tonight?”
or “I didn’t reply to that email”
will keep popping into your head one after another.
That is perfectly normal; it is the natural function of the brain.
“Distracting thoughts appearing = not meditating correctly” is not true.
This is the first, and most important, misconception to clear up.
So, what is meditation really?
Meditation is training to “notice your own mind and body”
In a nutshell, this is it.
Meditation is training to “notice” the state of your own body and mind.
We think we know ourselves well.
But in reality,
we can barely see what state our mind is in right now,
or what we are reacting to.
We tend to think that "I know myself better than anyone else," but
actually, that's not necessarily true.
And,
living life means managing your own mind and body every single day.
Whether it's work, housework, or relationships,
we spend our days using our own minds and bodies.
Some people are good at this management, while others struggle with it.
Where does that difference come from?
---Let's use a simple analogy here.
Let's compare it to driving a car.
In this world,
there are high-performance cars and there are those that aren't.
But no matter the car, there is always someone driving it.
And even when driving the same car,
between a skilled driver and an unskilled one,
the safety and speed are completely different.
Humans have this same structure.
Car = Our body
Driver = Our mind
Whether a skilled driver (the mind) moves the body, or an unskilled one does.
That makes a huge difference in how easy it is to get through each day.
For example,
people who have physical ailments
are in a state where their mind is desperately trying to steer a car that won't move as they want it to.
Conversely, even if the body is healthy, there are people whose minds are restless,
and they cannot handle their body well despite having it.
In other words---
When you get better at using your mind, life becomes much easier.
It is easy to visualize meditation if you think of it as practice to improve that "way of using your mind."
Let's look at the mechanism of how the mind becomes disturbed.
So, how does that "mind" usually move?
We have
eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and skin,
which are the gateways that receive external information.
And,
it is the "mind" that ultimately processes the stimuli that come in from there.
When stimuli enter,
the following things happen inside the mind.
Various stimuli enter from the eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and skin
The mind reacts to it (e.g., "I don't like this," "I'm scared," "I'm annoyed," "I'm surprised")
That reaction accumulates in the mind as energy
The accumulated energy looks for an exit
That exit manifests as harsh words or impulsive actions
"I found myself yelling before I knew it,"
"I almost lashed out in a fit of rage,"
"I said something I shouldn't have."
Moments like these are actually the result of energy
that has been building up in your mind for a long time
and has finally overflowed.
Meditation is training to carefully observe
this entire sequence of events.
"Oh, an unpleasant feeling just arose,"
"This is gradually turning into anger,"
"Oh, I'm starting to want to talk back."
---By doing this, you notice and observe what is happening in your mind,
as if you were watching your own mind from a different place.
This is what meditation is all about.
Why does just 'noticing' change things?
"Just noticing? Is that really meaningful?" you might think.
But this is more significant than you might imagine.
Let me say one simple thing here.
You are controlled by what you cannot notice.
If you don't notice that you are currently
feeling impatient,
impatience will control your judgment.
If you don't notice that you are currently hurt,
that hurt will control your words.
Conversely, the moment you notice, "Oh, I'm reacting right now,"
a little bit of space is created there.
Just by having that space,
you become able to choose whether to let it out or wait a moment.
Strangely enough, just by observing,
the turbulence in your mind will gradually settle down.
"Oh, I just felt annoyed,"
"I'm wanting to talk back at this very moment,"
"Oh, I'm reacting, I'm reacting."
---It's like giving a play-by-play commentary of your own mind.
With just this, the waves of your mind will gradually calm down.
Change your mind, not your environment
When something unpleasant happens,
we tend to try to change the situation around us.
"There's a noisy person, so I want to get away,"
"There's someone I don't like, so I don't want to interact with them,"
"There's an annoying sound, so I want to turn it off."
But in real life,
you cannot adjust every environment to your liking.
Work, family, and neighbors rarely go exactly as you wish.
That is where meditation takes a completely different approach.
Instead of changing your surroundings, you change how your mind perceives them.
Rather than making the outside world fit you, you adjust your inner self.
This is the essence of meditation.
So, what do you actually do?
The practice is simple.
Focus your consciousness on the 'here and now.'
Focus on your breathing.
Notice the sensation of your feet while walking.
While eating, truly feel the taste.
All of these are exercises to place your consciousness in the 'present moment.'
If left alone, the human mind
regrets the past,
worries about a future that hasn't happened yet,
and flies off to places other than the present.
Mindfulness is the habit of bringing that mind back to the 'now.'
Meditation is, the practice of doing that while sitting.
For example,
Sit in a comfortable position
Close your eyes (or lower your gaze slightly)
Focus your awareness solely on your breathing
Even if distracting thoughts arise, notice them by thinking 'Ah, a thought has come up,' and return your focus to your breathing
This act of 'returning again' is the very practice that cultivates the power of awareness.
Having distracting thoughts is not a failure.
The repetition of noticing and returning is already the practice itself.
Summary: Meditation is not a 'technique to quiet the mind'
Thank you for reading this far.
To summarize, it is this:
Meditation is not about 'becoming nothing'
It is training to 'notice' your own body and mind
The body is the car, the mind is the driver. When you get better at using your mind, life becomes easier
Practice in observing the flow of 'stimulus -> reaction -> energy -> outlet' within your mind
Changing not the environment, but how your own mind perceives things
Meditation and mindfulness are not techniques for quieting the mind.
They are practice for noticing your own reactions so you can choose how to act yourself.
I would be happy if this could be the
first step for those who have been 'vaguely curious' about it.
In the next article,
when this 'power of awareness' grows,
what specifically changes in daily life
--- from human relationships and work to how you face yourself,
I will write about it in a bit more depth.
Please feel free to continue reading if you'd like.
👇
Just a little bit at the end
I have spent a long time and money learning in this field myself.
I believe I have put in a fair amount of effort into books, courses, and practice.
Among that, I have written in the easiest language possible about things I felt, 'If I had known this at the beginning, it surely would have been different.'
I hope this makes someone's 'first step' a little lighter.
▶ For those who 'want to turn their own abilities and sensibilities into a career'
For those who want to start working as a consultant or counselor as a side job, I offer courses on
Street Academy.
[▶ Jobs that will be chosen in the AI era | Introduction to consulting and counseling for company employees]
[▶ A course to fundamentally understand 'what is active listening']
[▶ 'note article' Because it is the AI era]
On the official LINE account 'Michi', I also share information about working as a side-job consultant and details about my courses.
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<Bonus> |From [Essays].
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[Part 4: Tried singing]
Fall in love - Akiko Kobayashi
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