What It Means to Open Up
I am Aiko Takahashi from the Mortgage Problem Support Network.
I recently read The Sage's Book by Yasushi Kitagawa, his debut work. The appeal of Yasushi Kitagawa's works lies in how naturally self-improvement elements are woven into the novels, making them very easy to read.
I first learned of him through a work called The Driver and was completely drawn into the Kitagawa world by such a wonderful story, and since then, I have been reading his other works little by little.
The "Hara" (Belly) as a sign of innocence and resolve
In
The Sage's Book, there is a scene written about the "hara" (belly).In Japan of the past, the "hara" was considered the foundation of the heart and the place where a person's true feelings and resolve resided. While there are various theories about its etymology, when you think about it, expressions like "hara o kukuru" (to brace oneself), "hara o tateru" (to get angry), and "haraguroi" (black-hearted) show that the "hara" appears quite frequently and occupies an important position in expressions people use in their daily lives, for better or worse.When samurai committed seppuku, the act of cutting their own belly was meant to signify their innocence and resolve, as if to say, "I have nothing to hide" and "Nothing black will come out of my belly even if I cut it open." It seems the "hara" has long been used to express human emotions and true intentions.
Suddenly saying, "I will open up to you"
The other day, I met a client who wanted to sell their real estate through an introduction from someone. I was listening to them carefully in person as usual, but for some reason, the reason they wanted to sell the real estate did not sit right with me (this also relates to the "hara"). As I listened, the feeling that "do they really need to sell?" or "wouldn't it be better not to sell?" grew stronger in my mind.
Perhaps my demeanor conveyed that. After I finished speaking, the client, who had been silent for a moment, suddenly said, "I will open up to you," and confided their true feelings and circumstances.
Because of that, everything I had heard until then connected, and I understood well why the client wanted to decide to sell. I myself felt a sense of clarity.
Can I really consult with this person honestly?
Even though it was an introduction, it was our first meeting. At first, they might not have trusted me, or they might have had doubts about whether I was someone they could really talk to honestly. That is only natural. It is not easy for anyone to entrust a major life decision, such as selling real estate, entirely to someone they have just met.
Likewise, because it is such a big decision, I cannot offer the best possible proposal for them by only listening to superficial stories.
Having the client open up to me. For that, having them think, "It's okay to consult with this person honestly." I felt once again that this is more important than anything else in the real estate business.
Three things I value especially
So, what is necessary to make someone think, "I can open up to this person"? For example,
・Listen to the other person until the end without interrupting.
・Accept them first without denying them.
・Keep secrets and create an environment where they can talk with peace of mind.
・Think about what is best for them, not about my own short-term gain or loss.
・Include the option of "not selling" in the proposal.
・Explain professional knowledge in an easy-to-understand manner and have them make decisions after being convinced.
・Keep small promises and accumulate sincere responses.
――While all of these are important, in addition to the above, I work every day while especially valuing these three things:
・Having them feel that "this person is on my side."
・Valuing long-term relationships rather than short-term profits.
・Not forgetting human warmth and empathy.
The real estate business is a job that is deeply involved in a person's life and living
People rarely open up to someone who only has knowledge and experience.
"This person is on my side"
"I won't be denied"
"I will be properly accepted"
I believe that only with a relationship of trust where they can feel that way will they tell me their true feelings and circumstances. Real estate is expensive, and the real estate business is a job that allows us to be deeply involved in that person's life and living. That is why, while knowledge and experience are of course important, the foundation is "trust." I want to continue to be someone with whom clients can safely open up. It was a day when I thought about such things again.
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