【最近みた奇妙な夢】『芽のない花』

　過覚醒状態のときは、心身が休まらない、辛い。なのに、その産物として出来る、独特なうた。

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『芽のない花』

JP
[Intro]
湿った土のしたで
だれかが順番をぬいた
まだ芽でもないものが
名前だけ先にひらく

[Verse 1]
腐りかけた鉢のなか
黒ずんだ土が息をしてた
ほどけばまだ助かるような
やわらかい根が触れてきた

すこし窮屈だっただけ
すこし遅れていただけ
別の器に移せばきっと
また静かに咲ける気がした

[Verse 2]
そこへ来たひヒトは笑ってた
やさしさに似た顔で立ってた
けれど手つきはどこかちがって
土より先に輪郭を崩した

手伝うふりで近づくたび
花はだんだん花ではなくて
根と　ひかりと　やわらかい芯
それだけにされてむき出しだった

[Verse 3]
おかしい
たぶん最初からおかしい
口元だけがきれいに動いて
そのヒトは花を食べてしまった

のみこまれてく
のみこまれてく
わたしがほどいたやさしさごと
鉢の中には黒い湿りと
遅すぎる指の温もりだけ

[Bloom Hook]
Beautiful, but wrong
Beautiful, but wrong
途中をもたずに　ひらいてる

Strange and unsettling
Strange and unsettling
きれいなのに　目をそらせない

[Verse 4]
場面はそこで変わったのに
土のにおいだけついてきた
広すぎる畑　まっすぐな列
まだ何もないはずの地平線

みてみて　やっと咲いたの
その声だけが先に届いて
気がつけば　土の表面に
大輪だけが　いつの間にかあった

[Verse 5]
芽も見えなくて　茎もみじかく
途中の季節がまるごと欠けてた
それでもそれは見事な顔で
ひまわりとしてそこに立ってた

変だななんて思わないまま
わたしはただ見上げていた
現実よりも大きな花が
現実よりも自然に見えた

[Break]
だれが
順番を
食べたの

だれが
時間を
抜いたの

しずかな畑で
しずかな畑で
咲くとこだけが増えていく

Something is wrong
Something is wrong
でも　あまりにきれいだった

[Verse 6]
つぎにわたしはハスを持ってた
窮屈すぎる鉢から出して
ひとつずつ息をわけるように
別々の器へ移していく

今度はだれも口を出さない
今度はだれも食べたりしない
土は素直で　指もおちついて
するすると作業がすすんでく

[Verse 7]
ふと見あげると　あの畑にも
ぽこ　ぽこ　ぽこと咲いていた
水のない場所の薄紫
ぷっくりふくらむやわらかなハス

畑にハスなんて変なのに
夢のわたしは知っていた
咲く場所なんてあとから決まる
きれいなものは法則をこえる

[Bloom Hook 2]
Beautiful, but wrong
Wrong, but beautiful
順番のない咲きかたで

Strange and unsettling
Soft and unsettling
うすむらさきが空気を変える

[Verse 8]
食べられたもの
奪われたもの
崩された輪郭は戻らない
それでも指はおぼえている
ほどくことと　移すことを

いつの間にか
咲いていた
途中を持たない
花のまま

咲くはずのない場所だから
咲いた理由がある気がした
水のない畑　芽のない花
夢だけが知ってる庭の秩序

[Outro]
うすむらさきのふくらみだけが
最後の景色にのこってた

だれにも邪魔されず
だれにも食べられず
咲くはずのない場所で
花はちゃんと花だった

Beautiful, but wrong
Strange and unsettling
しめった土のしたで
まだ名前のないものが
またひとつ
植え替えられている

EN
[Intro]
Beneath the damp soil
someone removed the order
something not even a sprout yet
opened only its name first

[Verse 1]
Inside a pot nearly rotting away
the darkened soil was still breathing
roots soft enough to feel
as if they could still be saved if loosened

It was only a little too cramped
only a little too late
if I moved it to another vessel
I felt it might bloom quietly again

[Verse 2]
Then someone came, smiling
standing there with a face like kindness
but something in those hands was wrong
they broke the outline before touching the soil

Each time they came closer pretending to help
the flower became less and less a flower
root, light, and a tender core
stripped down to only that, left bare

[Verse 3]
Something is wrong
maybe it was wrong from the start
only the mouth moved beautifully
and that person ate the flower

It is being swallowed
it is being swallowed
along with the kindness I had loosened free
inside the pot there was only black dampness
and the warmth of fingers that came too late

[Bloom Hook]
Beautiful, but wrong
Beautiful, but wrong
opening without any in-between

Strange and unsettling
Strange and unsettling
beautiful, and yet I cannot look away

[Verse 4]
The scene changed there
but the smell of soil came with me
a field far too wide, rows perfectly straight
a horizon where nothing should have been yet

“Look, look, it finally bloomed”
only that voice arrived first
and when I noticed, on the surface of the soil
great blossoms were already there

[Verse 5]
No sprouts in sight, and stems too short
an entire season in between had gone missing
and yet each one wore such a splendid face
standing there as a sunflower

Without even thinking how strange it was
I only looked up
flowers larger than in the real world
looked more natural than the real world

[Break]
Who
ate
the order

Who
pulled out
time

In the silent field
in the silent field
only the blooming keeps increasing

Something is wrong
Something is wrong
and yet it was far too beautiful

[Verse 6]
Then I was holding lotus flowers
lifting them from pots that were far too tight
separating them one by one
as if dividing their breath into separate vessels

This time no one interrupted
this time no one tried to eat them
the soil was obedient, my fingers calm
and the work moved forward smoothly

[Verse 7]
Then when I looked up
they were blooming in that field too
pale purple in a place with no water
soft lotus buds, round and swelling

Lotuses in a field should be strange
but the dream version of me already knew
where something blooms is decided afterward
beautiful things sometimes go beyond law

[Bloom Hook 2]
Beautiful, but wrong
Wrong, but beautiful
blooming without any order

Strange and unsettling
Soft and unsettling
the pale violet changes the air

[Verse 8]
What was eaten
what was taken
the broken outline will not return
and still my fingers remember
how to loosen and how to move

Before I knew it
it had bloomed
remaining a flower
with no in-between at all

Because it was a place
where nothing should have bloomed
I felt there must have been a reason
a flower with no sprout, in a waterless field
the hidden order of a garden known only by dreams

[Outro]
Only that pale violet fullness
remained in the final scene

Uninterrupted by anyone
uneaten by anyone
in a place where it should never have bloomed
the flower was still a flower

Beautiful, but wrong
Strange and unsettling
beneath the damp soil
something still without a name
is being transplanted
once again