A talk about being honest about not having anything in particular I want to do

Hello, this is Moyagen.
Today, I'm going to talk about the feeling of "I don't really have any dreams or things I want to do..."

"What is your dream for the future?"
"Do you want to become someone?"
"What are your goals?"

When I'm asked that, my mind just goes "blank".

I used to have them.
When I was a child, I had vague "things I wanted to be," like a cake shop owner or a police officer.
But as I became an adult, that "something" gradually blurred and faded away.

Honestly, I don't have anything in particular I want to do right now.
I can think of plenty of things I don't want to do, though.

I don't really have anything I can proudly say "I love this!"
And I don't have anything I can say "I'm aiming for this!"
Before I knew it, I had become "someone who just lives day by day."

Sometimes, when I see things on the internet or in books saying "have a dream" or "have goals in life," I just think, "Wow, sorry, I don't have any."

When I see people talking about their dreams or working hard toward their goals, I think they're amazing and admirable.
But at the same time, I feel uneasy, wondering, "Is there something wrong with me for not having those?"
Watching people running toward something makes me feel like I've been left behind a little.

I wonder when it was that I stopped wanting to "become someone."
Somehow, I stopped having the luxury to think about such things,
I became just barely able to get through each day,
and before I knew it, it felt like "the current me" has just been continuing on.

Even so, the days go by.
Go to work, eat, sleep, and go to work again.
Sometimes I chat a little with friends,
or watch YouTube and lounge around on my days off.
And just like that, the week ends.

It's not that it's incredibly fun,
but it's not incredibly painful either.
I wonder if this is a bad thing. Is it just too ordinary?

When I say "I'm not aiming for anything," it sounds very negative,
but maybe that's not actually the case.
Even if I don't try to "become something",
even if I stay "as I am now", I'm still managing to live properly.

That means I'm standing at the minimum line of survival,
and maybe that alone is surprisingly enough.

Dreams, goals, things you want to do.
Even without those "proper reasons,"
even if you're just drifting or lost, you're doing great just by living.
I've decided to think that way lately.

Maybe one day I'll find something I can say "this is it," or maybe I won't.
But well, I think that's fine too.
For now, I was able to write this piece today, so that's good enough.