Footprints of Mental Landscapes

The nature of subjectivity is incredibly diverse, and no two people perceive the world in exactly the same way. We live in a world that is truly that uncertain.

Even if we define what can be scientifically measured with numbers as objective, the human subjectivity that perceives it is an independent mechanism that never intersects with others. While the former is necessary for the advancement of science, I believe that in daily life, it is the information processed through our subjectivity that is truly important.

About a year ago, my life was like walking a tightrope.

About half a year ago, my life was like walking on a steel beam.

Now, my life is like walking along a narrow sidewalk.

There are moments when I feel fear as cars pass by on the road right next to me, but compared to tightropes or steel beams, it is a much easier environment to walk in. Sometimes there are cars driving dangerously, and I am startled by sirens or horns, but I can stop whenever I want, so it never leads to any major problems.

If I start running carelessly, a bicycle might suddenly dart out from an unexpected side street, so I try not to rush and instead proceed as if I am taking a slow stroll.

If I am captivated by a beautiful scene, I stop, and when I want to move again, I walk. As I watch people pass by at high speed in their sports cars, I feel that the small flowers blooming in the weeds by the roadside are beautiful.

I realized that the road I thought was a single path was not that way at all. There were countless side streets that I would have overlooked if I had been running. Even on narrow paths where cars cannot pass, I encounter unexpected scenery when I walk.

It is fine to walk on unpaved animal trails sometimes, and it is fine to carefully make my way through places without any paths at all. In fact, I find that more comfortable.

I felt like what I was searching for was just ahead on this road, and I seemed desperate to reach it quickly. I must have been trapped in the illusion that this was a journey with a destination, and that the real thing would only begin once I arrived.

Faster. Even faster.

I converted my impatient heart into momentum and sought acceleration.

It is hard now, but if I work hard here, things will get easier. I told myself this as I went through elementary school, middle school, high school, and university, but what I realized as I graduated and grew older was that a day where things become easy never comes. The harder you work, the more work you get. A little more, just a little more. Until you collapse.

Now that I have finally been able to reset, I enjoy my stroll.

The destination is where I am now, and the path itself was my life.

Realizing that there was no need to rush at all, I put down my luggage. The bag I had packed with everything I could think of that I might need for the journey was very heavy, but it is okay not to carry so much. Let's travel light.

Do you have anxiety about the future?
Do you have regrets about the past?

It is natural to have them. Where is the problem in that?

Leaving my anxiety and regrets as they are, I stop to enjoy the scenery. The guidebook says to go straight along the path, but now, where shall I head from here?

You should draw your own map.

This is my life, and that is your life.

Thank you very much for staying with my humble writing until the end. I hope your journey is beautiful and memorable.

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