I am confident in my inability to stay motivated
I am the type to meet deadlines.
That is probably because I am timid,
and rather than hating to cause trouble for others,
I think it is because I hate being scolded.
The fact that there is a deadline is actually
what forces me to get motivated,
and I suspect I wouldn't do it if that weren't there.
Basically, I am a sloth.
This might be true for anyone, but
continuing something without being forced is almost impossible.
People who can start working saying, 'Alright, time to work today,' are
people I respect immensely.
You see them occasionally, don't you? It's unbelievable.
Even if it's not work,
for example, if I decide to do squats every day,
three days is a good run.
The tug-of-war between motivation and lack of motivation,
the balance is: day one, motivation wins,
day two, motivation barely wins,
day three, it's a toss-up and I somehow convince myself,
and on day four, I suffer a crushing defeat.
It's always like that...
I repeat this even though I know that much.
I wonder if I'm an idiot.
It's not that I don't think about
how to make things last.
The kind of external pressure I mentioned at the beginning
is one way, I suppose.
However, while external pressure like a deadline works,
pressure you decide on yourself is the same as no pressure at all.
It is absolutely impossible.
Making it a routine is also
a commonly suggested method.
The reason this blog has somehow continued
is because it has become a routine.
A routine is something that happens
after you've been doing it for a while,
so it's quite difficult to start by trying to make it one.
Routines are 'concrete' in their structure,
so you know when to do them and exactly what to do.
It's easy to imagine yourself doing it.
It feels like the 'you doing it' in the future is close by.
Even if you think you'll somehow continue,
the future you is quite far away and blurry.
I think the reason things don't last is because 'the goal is too far away'.
The goal of squats might be dieting.
But what you are actually facing is the squat itself,
so you only see the squat right in front of you,
and the diet beyond that is very far away.
That's why by about the third day, it's completely out of sight.
Sometimes, the exact opposite happens.
It's a common story in things like strength training,
where you were supposed to have started for body building,
but before you know it, the training itself becomes the goal.
The goal beyond that is no longer visible,
and you're in a state where you're doing it because you like the training right in front of you.
When this happens, it lasts.
Humans really are strange creatures.
In conclusion, don't take the goal too seriously.
Don't focus on the goal, but learn to like the means.
I think this is the trick to keeping things going.
Which means, first I have to find a means I like...
It seems the road is long after all.