Returning to Japan from Australia for Childbirth: My Experience Welcoming a Baby with My Foreign Husband | From Preparation to Delivery and Unforgettable Memories with Midwives

"Should I give birth in Japan, or should I give birth in Australia?"

After finding out I was pregnant, my husband and I discussed this many times.

There is a sense of security in giving birth in Australia, where I am accustomed to living.

However, my family is in Japan.

Because it was my first birth, I had a strong desire to give birth near my mother.

After much deliberation, we chose to return to Japan for the birth.

And looking back now, I think this choice was the best decision for our family.

Of course, it wasn't that I had no anxiety.

My husband is Australian.

He is still studying Japanese.

You never know what will happen during childbirth.

What if labor starts earlier than expected?

What if my husband doesn't make it in time?

Carrying such anxieties, we were approaching the expected due date.

*Since this is a long article, if you would like to skip ahead, please click on:
"Things I'm glad I prepared for returning home for childbirth, now that I look back"
or "5 differences I felt between giving birth in Japan and Australia."

Two weeks before the due date. My husband finally arrives in Japan.

My husband arrived in Japan about two weeks before the due date.

It was our first reunion in about two months.

We had been video calling every day, so I had seen his face.

Even so, the moment I actually saw him at the airport, I felt deeply moved, thinking, "We finally made it this far."

Actually, until my husband arrived, I hardly went for walks.

My mother's side of the family has a history of premature births.
My symptoms during pregnancy were also very similar to those of my grandmother and mother.

What if labor started from walking and I had to go to the hospital alone?

I kept thinking about things like that and was being overly cautious.

Now, my husband is by my side.

Just that sense of security finally lightened my heart.

Even while apart, my husband was preparing for the birth.

Sydney and Japan.
The two months or so we lived apart.

My husband never missed our daily video calls.

That's not all.

Before coming to Japan, he read the 'Papa BOOK' from 'Tamago Club' and studied about attending the birth.

"Labor"

"Placenta"

"Midwife"

"Nurse"

"Hospital"

He learned the Japanese words that might be necessary for childbirth one by one.

"I can't understand everything, but I want to be of help to you, even if just a little."

I still cannot forget that he said that to me.

I was happier than anything that he tried so hard to learn the unfamiliar Japanese language.

The first thing we did was driving practice in Japan.

My husband had obtained an international driving permit before coming to Japan.

My parents' home is in the countryside.

This was so that if labor started during the day when it was just the two of us, he could drive me to the hospital.

Both Australia and Japan drive on the left side of the road, so that was a relief.

However, the roads in Japan were more than my husband had imagined.

Narrow roads.

Passing each other in residential areas.

Curved mirrors at every intersection.

"Japanese roads are really narrow."

"It's like Italy."

Seeing my husband gripping the steering wheel cautiously while saying that was a bit endearing.

He drove to the hospital several times to check the route in preparation for the real thing.

Also, he would have to commute to the hospital during my hospitalization.

It was a good choice for my husband to increase his freedom.

Checking out the hospital together as a couple.

Every time we went to the hospital, I had my husband come along.

Where is the reception?

Where is the night entrance?

Where should we park the car?

We checked everything one by one so that even if I were in too much pain to speak, my husband could act on his own.

I also introduced my husband to the nurses and midwives,

"This is my foreign husband. Please take care of him."

I told them.

And there is a Japanese phrase that I practiced many times with my husband.

Fortunately, my husband can speak a little Japanese.

When in trouble,
"What should I do? Please tell me."

It's a short sentence, but just by remembering these words, my husband seemed a little more at ease.

10,000 steps every day. The last time for just the two of us as a couple.

After my husband arrived, I walked a lot, as if the time before that was a lie.

I went for a walk every day, aiming for 10,000 steps a day.

That was because I could think, "I'm not alone anymore."

It was the season when the cherry blossoms were in full bloom.

We went to a nearby park for cherry blossom viewing and took photos slowly.

Yakiniku.

Ramen.

Gyudon.

"I want to eat this when I come to Japan."

We enjoyed the things we had talked about one by one.

Once the baby is born, it will be difficult for the two of us to eat out slowly for a while.

It was also a good opportunity for my husband, who has never lived in Japan, to get to know life in Japan.

Thinking about it now, that time might have been the last date the baby gave us as a couple.

Things I'm glad I prepared for returning home for childbirth, now that I look back

For those who are thinking about returning to Japan from Australia for childbirth.

Summarizing what I was actually glad I did, these are the 5 things.

* Obtain an international driving permit
* Try driving to the hospital several times
* Check the location of the night entrance and reception
* Learn a little Japanese to use during childbirth
* Walk a lot as a couple to build up physical strength

These are all small preparations, but they led to great peace of mind when the time came.

And above all, I think the time itself that we "prepared together" turned our anxiety about childbirth into peace of mind little by little.

The birth I imagined and the actual birth were completely different

The day had finally arrived.

I woke up in the morning with a stomach ache that felt a little different than usual.

“Could this be labor?”

Since it was my first birth, I wasn't sure, but when I timed the intervals, the pain was coming regularly.

I contacted the hospital and headed there with my husband.

Sent home once. Yet the anxiety remained.

Although I was examined, the labor was not yet in full swing.

Since the pain had subsided, I was told to go home for the time being.

“Is it not time yet?”

“Is it not today?”

I spent the day at home thinking this, but by evening, the pain began to intensify again.

This time, it was at 3 to 5-minute intervals.

When I called the hospital again, I was told to come in.

By the time we headed to the hospital, I had little energy left to talk due to the pain.

“Please let me be admitted today.”

After arriving at the hospital, perhaps because I felt relieved, the labor pains calmed down a little again.

The midwife asked me, “Do you want to go home once? What would you like to do?”

However, it had only been a few days since my husband started driving in Japan, and my mother had work the next day.

Thinking about having to head to the hospital again in the middle of the night made me very anxious.

So we asked,

“If possible, could you please let us be admitted now?”

The hospital kindly accepted our request, and I was admitted.

Looking back now, I think this was a really good decision.

If I had gone home, I might have spent even more time feeling anxious.

What we practiced for childbirth didn't help

Before the birth, my husband and I practiced various things.

Pushing my lower back with a tennis ball.

Synchronizing our breathing.

How to encourage me.

“This will surely be useful.”

We talked about things like that.

However, the actual labor was completely different from what I had imagined.

When my back was pushed, it actually hurt more.

Even just being rubbed was painful.

“Don't do anything.”

I was in so much pain that I ended up saying that.

In the end, the only thing I asked my husband to do was to give me water.

Even so, strangely, it was enough.

Just having him there next to me.

Holding my hand.

“It's okay.”

Just hearing him say that made me feel like I wasn't alone.

I realized for the first time then that what you need for childbirth isn't some special technique, but 'someone to be by your side'.

What my foreign husband was able to do

While I was facing the labor pains, my husband was quietly taking action.

Organizing the hospital bags.

Taking out necessary items.

Preparing drinks.

Communicating with the midwives.

He took care of all the little things one by one for me, as I couldn't move due to the pain.

My mother handled the hospital admission procedures.

While my mother was at the reception, my husband stayed by my side the whole time.

Thanks to the two of them naturally dividing their roles, I was able to focus solely on giving birth.

It was a time when I felt the reassurance of having family there over and over again.

What I learned from having a partner present during birth in Japan

There are things I didn't know before the birth.

At the hospital where I gave birth, my husband was not allowed to cut the umbilical cord.

Also, he was not involved in medical procedures such as an episiotomy.

I had heard that in Australia, it is not uncommon for partners to cut the umbilical cord, so I felt the difference from Japan.

On the other hand, I was told that kangaroo care was possible if I wished for it.

This time, I consulted with my husband and chose not to do it.

Childbirth styles differ by country.

I realized that it's not about which is better or worse, but that each has its own culture and medical policies.

9:00 AM, a new life is born

Through the night and into the next morning.

9:00 AM.

A healthy cry echoed in the delivery room.

“It's born.”

In that moment, all the pain and tension I had felt until then turned into relief all at once.

When the baby's head appeared, the midwife said with a smile,

“The hair is black!”

Since my husband was a foreigner,

“I wonder what color the hair will be,”

it seemed the staff were all looking forward to it as well.

With those words, the atmosphere in the delivery room softened, and even I laughed.

“I'm glad you were born safely.”

When I looked at my husband, his mask was soaked with tears.

Even though he had heard stories about childbirth from friends who had recently become fathers, it seemed my suffering was beyond his imagination.

Epidurals are the norm in Australia. It might also be because I gave birth naturally.

I am glad he was able to see firsthand that childbirth is a life-risking event.

I could not have done it alone.

After the birth, my husband, the baby, and I spent about an hour together.

It was the shortest and happiest hour of my life.

I had thought that childbirth was something a mother had to endure on her own.

But in reality, it was different.

My husband supporting me by my side.

My mother handling the reception.

The midwives who kindly encouraged me.

The doctor who put me at ease.

Supported by so many people, a new life was born.

On this day, I learned for the first time that a baby is something the whole family welcomes together.

Why my foreign husband became an 'Ikumen' (involved father)

After the birth, we returned to our hospital room.

No sooner had we felt relieved than our new life with the baby began.

Holding the baby.

Breastfeeding.

Changing diapers.

Everything was a first, and every day was a series of new discoveries.

My foreign husband also learned about childcare during our hospital stay.

What I remember most about our hospital stay is the presence of the midwives.

They actively reached out not just to me, but to my husband as well.

How to hold the baby.

How to feed the baby milk.

How to burp the baby.

How to change a diaper.

In situations where words were hard to convey, they taught us everything carefully with smiles and gestures.

'Great job!'

'Yes, that's it, keep it up!'

My husband, having been praised so much, gained more and more confidence while smiling a bit shyly.

Even if you don't speak perfect Japanese, if you have the desire to communicate, it will get through.

That was also a time when I learned that.

The sight of my husband that surprised the midwives

One day, a midwife said this to us:

'Your husband is truly kind.'

Carrying our bags.

Looking after me.

Actively taking care of the baby.

None of these were 'special' things to my husband; they were just natural actions.

My husband kindly spoke to me and supported me every time, even when I had a perineal tear and found it difficult to walk or sit.

Apparently, that sight left an impression on them.

The day before we were discharged, a midwife came to our room to see us, saying, 'I might not be able to see you tomorrow, so I wanted to see you today.'

And she said this to us:

'You are such a wonderful couple, so I am sure you will raise a wonderful child.'

'It is clear that you care for each other. So, you will be fine.'

For me, having just finished childbirth and feeling a lot of anxiety, those words were the greatest gift of all.

Even now, I cannot forget the smiles and words from that day.

I am truly grateful from the bottom of my heart.

5 differences I felt between childbirth in Japan and Australia

This time, by returning to Japan for childbirth, I felt many differences compared to Australia.

While I think it depends on the hospital, I would like to summarize what I actually felt.

1. They are attentive even to foreign family members

Even with a language barrier, the midwives and nurses spoke to my husband with smiles.

By speaking slowly and using gestures, their attitude of 'let's raise this child together' came across.

Also, the doctor was fluent in English and spoke to my husband in English.

They also apparently use translation machines to communicate with patients who speak neither English nor Japanese.

I was moved by the depth of Japanese service and the thoughtfulness of the Japanese people, who are so attentive even to foreigners.

2. The peace of mind of having family nearby is huge

This time, my own mother was also by my side.

Because she took care of the hospital admission procedures and detailed preparations, my husband was able to stay with me.

If I had given birth overseas, I would not have been able to have this peace of mind.

It was the reassurance that only comes from returning home for childbirth.

Also, I had a difficult birth and struggled to produce breast milk.

As a first-time mother with a shattered mental state after birth, I was so happy that my mother was worried about me, not just her grandchild.


3. The entire hospital welcomes the baby

It wasn't just the examinations; the entire ward was wrapped in an atmosphere of 'congratulations.'

During our stay, the way the staff shared in the joy of our baby's growth was very heartwarming.

It felt less like a 'hospital' and more like a 'place where everyone welcomes the baby.'

For me, as my physical recovery was slow, being able to be hospitalized and not having to worry about meals or taking care of the baby led to a great sense of relief.

I was grateful for an environment where I could ask questions and discuss things I didn't understand in my native language.

4. Differences in Childbirth Styles by Country

At the hospital where I gave birth, my husband was not allowed to cut the umbilical cord.

On the other hand, I hear that it is not uncommon for partners to cut the umbilical cord in Australia.

Also, my husband was not allowed to stay overnight at the hospital during my stay.

At the hospital I visited in Australia, partners can stay in the hospital room 24 hours a day.

I felt that it wasn't a matter of which was correct, but rather a difference in the culture and medical policies of each country.

5. The Biggest Difference is the 'Warmth of People'

Facilities and systems are important, of course.

But what left the biggest impression on me were the people.

The midwives who encouraged me.

The nurses who spoke to me so kindly.

Everyone at the hospital who treated us like family.

I am sure I will never forget that warmth, no matter how many years pass.

In an environment where everything was new, being able to communicate in my native language was the number one source of comfort for me.

To those considering returning to Japan from Australia for childbirth

When you live abroad, 'where to give birth' becomes a very big decision.

I struggled with it until the very end.

Of course, I think the right answer is different for everyone.

Still, if there is anyone out there worrying about whether to give birth in Japan, I want to tell them this:

'It's okay not to worry alone.'

The hospital staff, your family, and your partner will surely be there to help you.

You don't have to be perfectly prepared.

What's important is not to carry it all by yourself and to be honest with your own feelings.

There are also people who are glad they gave birth in Australia.

Pregnancy and childbirth are different for everyone.

I think the best way is to consider your postpartum support system and choose the method that you are satisfied with.

The day we became a family

Looking back after the birth, what I remember most is not the pain.

It was 'Thank you.'

It was a day when we exchanged those words many times.

My husband tried his best to support me in Japan, a place he wasn't used to.

My mother quietly supported us.

And everyone at the hospital warmly welcomed us as we became parents for the first time.

I didn't give birth to my baby all by myself.

My baby was born into this world welcomed by the kindness of so many people.

That is why I am truly glad that I returned to Japan for childbirth.

Someday, when my child is older, I want to tell them about this day.

I want to tell them that from the very day they were born, they were loved by so many people.