I should have looked at my son's face before thinking about how to give it to him

I went to the convenience store, clutching a bottle of sparkling water.

When I finished paying and was about to leave,
the clerk at the register said to me,

“Do you like Wilkinson, sir?”

When I replied,


“What was Wilkinson again?”
she said,


“It’s the sparkling water you’re holding right now.”I usually look at the price rather than the brand when buying sparkling water, so I had forgotten about Wilkinson.
As long as the water is fizzy, that’s all that matters to me.

I replied,

“I do like Wilkinson.”

The clerk started rummaging through her pocket and handed me a piece of paper.


“This is a free coupon for Wilkinson.”That’s what she said as she handed it to me.

I want to scold myself for even thinking for a split second that she was asking for my contact info. Haha.
Anyway, surprises like this are nice, aren't they?

Rather than just handing over a coupon attached to a receipt,
even if it’s just for show,
I prefer having that little extra touch.

I thought it was such a nice experience that
I wanted to try it on my son.

My son often eats gummy candies when he goes to cram school.

If there are no gummies at home and he doesn't have time,
he can't go buy any, so he can't eat them.

Aiming for that day,
I decided to carry out the 'pocket gummy' operation.

And then, the day of cram school arrived.
My son said in the car,

“We don't have time to go buy snacks today, do we?”

That’s when I pulled the gummies out of my pocket and said,

“I thought you might want some gummies, so I bought some.”

How about that?
He must be happy, right?

As I looked at my son with that thought in mind, he said one thing.

“I would have preferred chocolate today.”

Huh?
That’s not what I expected.

I blamed the clerk at the register just a little bit. Haha.

But when I think about it, the clerk at the register
gave me the free coupon
because she saw that I was holding sparkling water.

She was looking at what I was about to buy.

But I, on the other hand,
was not looking at what my son wanted to eat today.

Since he always eats gummies, I assumed he would want gummies today.
I just decided that on my own.

Even when we think we are doing something for someone else,
we are actually just giving them what we think is the right answer.

That kind of thing
happens often in parenting and daily life, doesn't it?

“You like this, right?”

“This makes you happy, right?”

"He'll be happy if I do this for him, right?"

Doing things because I think it's for the best.

The three big 'shoulds'. Haha.

Sometimes, what you give someone with that thought in mind
is a little different from what they actually want.

Of course,
it wouldn't be a surprise if you asked every time.

But if you really want them to be happy,
it might be important to keep an eye on them in your daily life.

What do they like right now?
What kind of mood are they in today?
What have they been choosing lately?

And if you are going to give them something as a surprise,
don't expect anything in return.

I thought this was the most important thing.

In the story from earlier, I could have said

"I went to the trouble of buying these gummies for you,"

but from my son's perspective, that's not his problem.

If you expect too much that "they should be happy,"
you'll end up disappointed by their reaction.

But the moment you give it to them,
your feelings have already reached them.

Whether they are happy or not is up to them.

Being able to think that way is surely kinder.

The pocket gummy strategy
ended up with a result that felt like
both a success and a failure.

But thanks to my son, I learned one thing.

What's important in a surprise is
not the presentation of giving it, but watching the other person.

And even if their reaction is different from what you expected,

"I see, so you were in the mood for chocolate today, huh?"

Being able to laugh and say that might be just right.