Shin-Jibun (The New Me)

It has been decided that I will return to work next month.
My leave of absence lasted about 8 months.
It dragged on longer than I had expected.

Meniere's disease, depression, and menopause.
My autonomic nervous system was completely out of balance,
and everything was so painful that I didn't even know
where to start healing.

My psychiatrist told me,
"You aren't going back to the person you were before; you are becoming a new you!"
When they said that, it felt like I could be reborn,
and for some reason, I felt a little happy.✨

I still can't say I like myself yet,
but lately, I've started to feel that it's okay to be a weak version of myself.

What kind of person is this 'new me'?

Instead of doing new things,
I will try letting go of the things that have been holding me back,
like my unconscious assumptions,
my tendency to overthink,
and how I perceive things...
I will try to relax my shoulders.

Since I'm at it,
I'll shift gears toward things
that make my heart flutter with excitement.✨

I am full of anxiety about returning to work...
Why is returning to work so scary?

I don't need to be tense or try to do things perfectly.
I don't need to worry about what others think.
I will protect myself by working in a way that doesn't depend on the company.

For now, my goal is just to keep going.✨
90% of the things I'm anxious about won't happen... probably!?

I have a little time before I return to work,
so I'll take it easy and eat some roasted sweet potatoes without overthinking things.🍠

Thank you for reading until the end,
everyone.😊