Request Course: 5 Questions to Turn "Begging" into "Negotiation"

Christmas, New Year's, birthdays. As children, we used those events as excuses to innocently repeat our "begging".

"Buy it for me!" "Give it to me!" "I want more!"

However, it is much later that we realize the "futility" of that behavior.

...Clatter (the sound of the classroom door opening).

The first homeroom of the new year.
To us, still suffering from the New Year's holiday blues, Mr. Goda suddenly blurted this out.

"Hey! I'm giving you a test as a 'New Year's gift' right now!!"

Huhhhhhhh!?
No way, we didn't hear about this!
What kind of punishment game is a test at the start of the new year!?

Just as the classroom was filled with wails of despair,
the teacher smiled and continued.

"However... if you can ask me for 'something',
I might just exempt you.
Come on, beg me for a favor!
That's my New Year's service!!"

...Huh? Isn't that... easier than a test?

Wait, hold on.

We've studied for "test answers," but we had
never once been taught "how to properly make a request to an adult"—.

📢 Honestly, this teacher is way too creepy, right?!😅

("Come on, beg me for a favor"—isn't that emotional abuse?! lol)

I feel like these "questions" are a "crueltask" that one should encounter between high school and college, yet they are "essential".

▼ A "request" assignment from the teacher?

The actual assignment consisted of the following 5 questions:

Q1. What is it that you want to ask of the other person?
Q2. Why do you want to ask for that? What are the pros and cons for yourself?
Q3. Why are you making that request to that specific person?
Q4. By making that request to that person, what is the benefit for them?
Q5. What is the intention behind this assignment?

While it appears on the surface to be a "casual request to a teacher (or parent/senior)," thereality is that it is a process of creating a "proposalproposal"—could it be possible to connect this to "negotiation skills" for surviving in society?

Let's break down and think about what kind ofeducational trapis hidden in this assignment design, one by one!

▼ Structural analysis of the assignment:
『Graduating from Santa Clausunconditional “love”』

I think the greatest "irony" and educational value lies in the fact that this assignment is given during Christmas or New Year's, a time when“you can receive (or be celebrated for) something unconditionally”😅

Perhaps these 5 "questions" are designed with mainly 4 stages of a thought process?

｜1. Self-Awareness: Q1–Q2

• The challenge for young people: Many students may either "not know what they want" or only have a "vague desire to break the status quo." And even if they have a desire, it is very difficult to "verbalize" it.

• The question here: Specifically, what is your desire? What would it take to resolve it? Are you prepared to accept the "responsibilities" or "side effects (demerits)" that arise from obtaining it? By asking this, it drags a mere "dream" down into a "realistic goal."

| 2. Market Research: Q3

• Youth challenge: There is a tendency to rely on roles, thinking "The teacher will handle it" or "My parents will pay for it."

• The question here: Do you understand the other person's "resources (authority, ability, financial situation)"? Are you making a misguided request, like "ordering cake at a katsudon shop"? A request only succeeds when you align your needs with the other person's ability to fulfill them. This question forces students to adopt an "assessment" perspective to evaluate the other party's capabilities.

| 3. Value Proposition: Q4

This is the most "cruel reality" for children, isn't it? 💦
A "request" will not be fulfilled unless you can convey "what is the benefit for the other person?"
Understanding this is likely the boundary between children and adults, isn't it?

• Child's logic: "I want it, so give it to me" (Unilateral)

• Adult's logic: "I will provide you with benefit X, so please give me Y" (Bilateral)

For students, finding a "benefit" they can offer to superiors (teachers or parents) is extremely difficult. For example, just saying "I will improve my grades" is weak!!

• "This will count toward your teaching record, teacher."

• "This will reduce the miscellaneous tasks you are currently burdened with."

• "In the future, once I become X..." etc.

Imagine the other person's needs (deficiencies) and think desperately about how you can contribute to them. Make them realize that unless they can do this, their "requests" will not be accepted in society.

| 4. Metacognition: Q5

• Youth challenge: Basically, when a task is assigned, there is no room to think about "why it came up 'now'?" But, that's understandable, isn't it~

• The question here: This question makes them realize that this assignment was not just a survey, but 'training to move others.' By constantly having similar 'questions' for all the 'learning' you do now, not just for problems like this, you can make it your own (fuel for the future) and use it as an opportunity to think about human society.

｜Negotiation and Consensus Building Training?

The reason this assignment is tough is that it excludes 'goody-two-shoes (moralistic)' answers😅
Students who wrote 'Please bring world peace' get stuck on Q3 (Why ask me?) and Q4 (What is the benefit to the other party?).

As a result, this assignment can convey the following:

1. Understand your own desires and take responsibility for them!

2. The target of your 'request' is not an NPC (background character) in a game, but a human who acts based on their own pros and cons!

3. A 'request' is a 'presentation' to move the other person's heart!

If you were to actually give this assignment, 'grading criteria' might make it more game-like and deepen the learning if you share the following? lol
Though, it's probably better not to do it because grading it is actually a hassle?😅

By doing this, wouldn't it become a real negotiation (Deal) rather than just armchair theory?

▼ Expanding the assignment?

I think this way of thinking is necessary not only 'in society' but also in all human relationships, such as with 'friends,' 'boyfriends/girlfriends,' 'spouses,' and 'parents and children'🙄

In fact, this framework might be essential precisely in close relationships where the indulgence (expectation) that 'they should understand without me saying it' is likely to occur?!

If you apply this assignment to 'private human relationships', might you see even deeper meanings?

｜1. Don't make 'love' dependent on the 'ability to guess'!

I feel that the cause of arguments often seen between spouses and lovers is that Q1 (your own request/desire) is often not clear even to yourself. Instead of lashing out with vague emotions like 'I'm just annoyed' or 'Treat me better':

'I'm tired this week, so I want you to let me sleep in alone on Saturday morning (specific Q1)' and verbalize it.

Just by being able to do this, there might be situations where the relationship becomes much more peaceful.
In short, 'they'll understand without me saying it' is just an illusion...

| 2. The definition of "the other party's benefit" changes?!

In business, benefits are "money" or "track record," but in human relationships, Q4 (benefit to the other party) become something much more emotional. It is important not to misunderstand this:

• × Bad Q4: "If I can relax, my earnings will increase (too logical)"

• ○ Good Q4: "If I can relax, I'll have the capacity to listen to you with more smiles than usual (emotional reward)" ☜ A bit annoying, though lol

I feel that being able to present it as, "The benefit for you is that the family stays in a good mood (= domestic peace), right?" is the secret of middle-aged couples and wise lovers.

| 3. Breaking the curse of "unreasonable expectations"!!

Asking Q3 (Why this person?) is a form of self-reflection: "Am I forcing this role onto the other person?"

• "Why ask my wife? → Don't I assume she should do it because she's my wife?"

• "Why ask my parents? → Am I taking advantage of them, thinking they'll forgive me because they're my parents?"

Re-recognizing here that "the other person is also an individual with the right to refuse" creates healthy respect! I feel this is the most important thing. I feel there is no future in a relationship without respect!!

| Is this a "love translator"?

The essence of this task is a translation process of how to convert "my own selfish desires" into "our shared happiness (agreement with the other party)" 🙄

• Before conversion: "Listen to me!" (one-way)

• After conversion: "If you listen to me, I'll feel very relieved and I'll be able to be kinder to you, too. How about it?" (two-way)

📢 If you can install this "translator" in your brain while you're a student, you might be able to prevent 80% of future marital arguments! 😂

▼ Conclusion

Wow, it turns out this involved more advanced "negotiation technique" training than I thought 😅

📢 Thank you, Mr. Gouda!!

This time, the moment I was told, "You're faceless!! Do something about it?!" lol,
the first thing that came to mind was...

the anime "Ghost in the Shell: S.A.C."and the words ofDaisuke Aramaki :

This line is something that only someone who perfectly understands the balance between "pride" and "practical benefit" could say 😅

• An ordinary person's way of thinking: "Asking for something = being lower than the other person = losing"

• Aramaki's way of thinking: "Bowing your head = giving a zero-cost reward of 'satisfying the other person's self-esteem' = winning"

If you think about it simply, the conclusion would be that in the previous assignment, a "request (bowing your head)" from the student sidelower position to a parent or teacherhigher position is completely meaningless, but...

Aramaki-style negotiation When you think about it, in "Q4: Benefits to the other party," the greatest "benefit" a student can offer a parent or teacher is actually the performance of "respect" (though it depends on how you present it, lol).

But surprisingly, "respect" is actually valuable, you know? ✨

And one more thing. When you broaden your perspective from this assignment and return to the essence that "human relationships are a series and collaboration of 'negotiations'", the following words are also profound:

...Oh, this.

📢 Is this the true nature of the "cruelty" in this assignment?!

• Dependency in the name of "team play":
  "Let's all get along" and "help each other without being asked" -> This is just a state of huddling together while Q1 (your own desires) and Q4 (the value you can provide) remain vague.

• "Teamwork born from individual play":
  "I will do this (Q1). You do that. Our interests align there (Q4)" -> A relationship that only holds true when everyone is established as an "independent individual."

This task is essentially pressing students with the question,"What is your 'individual play' (your desires and abilities as an individual)?" 😫

A person without an "individual self" has no right to ask others for favors, nor the right to form a team.

As Section Chief Aramaki says, is it a case of
"Don't reach out to others if you can't stand on your own two feet"?

......That's harsh 💦

In the world of "Ghost in the Shell: S.A.C.",
why are they so cool as professionals?

It must be because everyone has cleared this "task" and is connected through equal "negotiation"~ 😅

Well, thank you for joining me again today.
I hope this question has served as a gateway to a new "question" for you.

Cited works:

Today's manga:

| A "trial" in the name of "New Year's money"?!

Footnote:

|The 'Negotiation Technique/Win-Win Approach' indicated by this task?

The reason this task is 'advanced' is not just because it is logical, but because it strikes at the core of human ability: 'conquering the black box that is the other person (the other party) through imagination'.

To summarize, the terror of this training lies here.

1. Training to treat 'emotions' as 'currency'

In business negotiations, 'money' or 'deadlines' become chips, but in this task (especially in interpersonal relationships), the question is whether you can present invisible things like the following as value (merit):

• The other party's 'sense of self-importance' (the joy of being relied upon)

• The other party's 'sense of security' (alleviating future anxiety)

• The other party's 'indulgence' (giving this allows them to forgive something)

Students who can verbalize these in Q4 will become incredible salespeople or charmers in the future.

2. Training to crush the reasons for being told 'No'

The process of thinking about Q3 (Why that person?) and Q5 (Intent) is the very preparation for 'counter-argument processing'. If you can't answer the moment you are asked, 'Why do I have to do this?', the proposal won't pass. It is Spartan in that it forces you to ask yourself these questions before submission.

3. Training to view yourself objectively (metacognition)

The most painful part is when you realize, 'I have nothing to offer the other party.' However, from there, realizing 'Well, I can do the dishes,' 'I can give a massage,' or 'I can greet people energetically,' and re-evaluating your own hand of cards (resources) might be the true goal of this task.

This task is an excellent framework for adult training or even as 'questions to ask yourself'.

|Begging event?

This is the timing for students to 'beg (request) something' from their parents or guardians. Excluding the three major events of 'Christmas,' 'New Year's (New Year's money),' and 'birthdays,' I have organized timings that are unique to students and easy to bring up, as well as modern events!

1. Life Events and Milestones (High-value requests are easier to get approved)

This is the time when parents' purse strings are loosest and requests have the most legitimacy.

• Entrance, advancement, and graduation celebrations (March to April)

  • Requested items: Smartphone (first-time), laptop, designer wallet, bicycle, furniture and appliances for living alone.

  • Context: You can play the strongest cards: 'I need it for my studies,' 'Everyone else has one,' or 'I'm moving up to middle (high) school.'

• Coming of Age Ceremony (Age 20)

  • Requested items: Furisode/Hakama (rental fees), watch, suit, driver's license fees.

2. Performance and Achievement Rewards (Negotiation and Contract)

These are conditional contract events where you say, 'If I can do this, will you buy it for me?'

• Regular test results and report card announcements

  • Requested items: Game software, clothes you wanted, extra pocket money.

  • Context: An equivalent exchange for effort, such as 'If I rank within the top X in my grade' or 'If I get all 5s.'

• Retiring from club activities or winning a tournament

  • Requested items: Party expenses, commemorative gifts.

3. Seasonal and Cultural Events (Small to medium-scale expenses)

These are events that are increasing in importance along with changes in the times.

• Valentine's Day (February)

  • Requested items: Material costs for friendship chocolates (mass production), wrapping costs.

  • *Since the number of people to give to is higher than in the past, requests for "material costs" occur surprisingly often.

• Obon (August)

  • Requested items: "Obondama" (summer New Year's money).

  • *Recently, this has become a common custom for grandparents to give to grandchildren, and the children have come to expect it.

• Halloween (October)

  • Requested items: Cosplay costume costs, party snack costs, theme park tickets such as for USJ.

4. Events specific to student life

• School trips and forest school camps

  • Requested items: Spending money for the trip ("give me a bit extra"), a new duffel bag, casual clothes ("first-string" outfits for the school trip).

• School festival or sports festival after-party

  • Items requested: Yakiniku costs, class T-shirt costs.

5. Modern 'Digital In-App Purchase' Requests (Routine/Spontaneous)

While not on a specific date, these are important 'events' for modern students.

• Game 'New Season' launch or collaboration event

  • Items requested: Battle pass, payment for limited-edition skins.

• Subscription renewal

  • Items requested: Monthly fee requests for Spotify, Netflix, YouTube Premium, etc.