[Experience/Essay] My First Time Snowboarding as a Clumsy Ghost

I hate P.E.
Physical fitness test results: worst in my grade
Ability to control my body as I please: none

Anyway, I, someone with absolutely no athletic sense, decided to challenge myself with the king of winter sports: snowboarding.
I want to visit a snowy mountain at least once in my life. If I'm going, snowboarding looks cooler than skiing. Besides, I'm afraid I might hurt someone else with the tips of the skis or the poles...

So, a friend who loves trying new things and I decided to go to a snowboarding lesson at a ski resort.
I bought snow wear and goggles in advance. I also ordered tights with urethane padding to soften the impact of falls online. There's no turning back now.

On the day, we arrived at the mountain at 9:00 AM, and it was -15 degrees Celsius. It was way too cold.
The female instructor who would be looking after us was brisk and pleasant, as dazzling as today's sun. I greeted her energetically so as not to be outdone by her energy.

We started with warm-up exercises, but a problem arose immediately. I couldn't do knee bends. I couldn't squat down and would just tumble backward. W-why...?
By the way, snowboard boots are stiffened all the way to the ankles, just like a cast. No matter how hard I tried, the angle of my ankles would only go to 90 degrees.

Is it even possible for a human to squat and stand with this ankle angle...?
Looking around, everyone except me was doing it normally.

This problem continued to plague me even after I strapped on the board.
You have to keep the board horizontal, fix both feet, and stand with your weight on your heels while digging the mountain-side edge into the snow.
For someone who can't squat, standing up from that position is a Herculean task. If I shift my weight forward to stand, the board loses its angle, and I just slide forward while still squatting.
In the end, I had to resort to a rough technique of sticking my hand between the board and the snow to act as a stopper to force myself up. I was exhausted from using muscles I don't normally use just to stand.

Even after standing, I would slide along with the board horizontal and stop abruptly by shifting my weight to my heels. By shifting my weight between my left and right feet, I could flutter along like a falling leaf.

High difficulty level!!
I wanted to keep the board horizontal, but before I knew it, it would turn vertical, and I'd be heading straight down. I panicked because it was faster than I imagined. Once that happened, the only way to stop was to fall backward. I slammed my butt and palms into the snow. Stand, fall. Stand, slide, fall. Can't stand, struggle. Get helped up, slide, lose control, fall.

The instructor was constantly calling out to me, lending me a hand when I couldn't stand, and teaching me how to visualize my center of gravity. Somehow, in the two hours of the morning, I became able to slide down the snowy mountain.

Sweaty, throat parched, and my palms already purple. A lunch break full of battle scars.

In the afternoon, we took the lift to the top of the mountain and resumed practice.
The view from the lift was wonderful, but I couldn't get off properly and ended up having the staff member pull me along.

The top of the mountain was windy, surrounded by forests on both sides, and had quite a significant elevation difference. Even though I thought I was going straight, I found myself drifting into a lower zone. I couldn't get back up, so I decided to take off my board, but I unconsciously let go of both hands, and in the blink of an eye, the board slid down the snowy mountain, plunged into the forest, and disappeared.

[Conclusion]
Even if your equipment is just one board, you can still be a nuisance to others.

The teacher immediately found my board with her brilliant riding, and even when I couldn't slow down and crashed into her, she remained as sunny as ever until the end, saying, 'Sorry for getting in your way!'

When I got into the hot spring, I felt like every sharp angle of my body was bruised, and when I got home, my whole body ached as if I'd been in a traffic accident, and the muscle pain lasted for a week.

Even so, I truly feel glad that I tried it.
Even if things don't go well, and even if I cause trouble for the teacher, moving my body to the fullest is actually quite fun. Perhaps because my fall prevention measures worked, I didn't have any major injuries.
I feel like I might not snowboard again, but now I'm curious about skiing.

Stay tuned for an account of my experience with short skis as someone who is uncoordinated.