Self-Coaching for When Your Mind Is Foggy, Spinning, and You Can't Organize Your Thoughts

Hello. Thank you for finding this page. My name is Saki.

In my work as a writer, I have interviewed many different people. Wanting to ask deeper questions to create better articles, I studied coaching and earned a certification.

There are two points I'm glad I learned.
One is that by applying coaching techniques to my interview work, the people I interviewed told me, "This was a good reflection for me."
The other is that I became able to do self-coaching. It seems to have suited me, as I am someone who tends to worry.

This time, I will introduce how I perform self-coaching. I would be happy if this could be a hint for those who tend to get stuck in a loop of overthinking to feel refreshed.

Coaching that draws out awareness

If I were to explain "What is coaching?", I think there are various interpretations depending on the organization.

I perceive it as "a coach drawing out a client's awareness through questions, encouraging spontaneous action, supporting them to achieve their best performance, and accompanying them until they reach their goals."

A coach believes"The answer is within the client!"and asks questions based on that, so they do not provide answers or solutions.

For example, even if someone else tells you to "study," you won't want to do it if you aren't motivated. But if you can spontaneously think, "I'm going to study!", you will do it more and more without anyone forcing you. Coaches encourage action like the latter.

Then why did the motivation to "study!" arise? I think it is because through the coach's questions, the client was able to realize their "ideal self" that lies beyond studying.

I interpret "ideal self" as something like "values."
What is important to me, what feels like me, what brings me joy...Things like that. I believe it is the true inner voice in the subconscious.

Just clarifying that point can be quite refreshing. It seems that in many cases, once it becomes clear, people naturally want to act spontaneously.

Self-coaching to view yourself objectively

When doing self-coaching, you ask yourself questions and have a dialogue. I don't think it's quite the same as professional coaching, but I would be happy if you could use it as a reference as one of the hints to get out of a painful situation caused by overthinking.

Now, when you are worried or feeling down, what is your state of mind? Don't you find yourself thinking about the same thing over and over, going in circles?
It feels like you've become a tragic heroine, struggling, thinking and thinking, unable to get out... I often fall into this swamp of thought myself. I call it the "tragic heroine swamp."
When that happens, I try the following things.

[1] Bring out another version of yourself

First, I forcibly peel off the "me who is overthinking" from the "me who is watching it" and bring out another version of myself.
The other version of myself doesn't need to think about anything. Just watch from afar, thinking, "Oh, you're overthinking, huh?"

I think the objective self watching and thinking, "You're in a phase where you want to be a tragic heroine, aren't you?" becomes like a rope to climb out of the tragic heroine swamp.
Because there is a rope, you can safely drown in the tragic heroine swamp. Depending on the depth of your worries, you will eventually notice yourself getting bored of being in the tragic heroine swamp.

[2] Try looking from above the sky

When you are caught up in worries, I think your perspective is often narrowed.
I fly the perspective of my other self from the zoom of what's right in front of me to high up in the sky. By looking down on the people around me and the events before and after, different ideas might emerge.

[3] Fly your perspective to the past or future

My other self looks down on the "me here and now" from the past and future. In the case of the future, I ask questions from the perspective of, "If you were to give advice to your current self from the perspective of yourself in X years who has achieved your wishes?"

[4] Try thinking by becoming someone other than yourself

Try looking at it from the perspective of how a third party might think.
The third party can be someone involved or someone completely unrelated. I think it's also good to ask yourself, 'What would that person I respect do?'

[Bonus]

I perform self-coaching by scribbling everything down in a notebook—my thoughts from self-questioning, emotional shifts, even harsh words. Sometimes, words of realization emerge from that.
It is also good to read those realizations aloud to input them into your brain. This creates an 'autocrine effect,' where your brain hears what you have said and gains new awareness.

And if you absolutely cannot get out of the swamp of your thoughts, have your other self say, 'Today is a swamp day, so it can't be helped!' Eat something delicious, take a long bath, and go to bed early. There are days when you just can't help it due to your physical condition or low atmospheric pressure, right?

Professional coaching allows you to gain deeper insights.

The more you are swayed by your emotions, the more you can only see things from a single perspective, and you will remain stuck in the 'tragic heroine' swamp forever. However, I think that being able to calmly, objectively, and multi-dimensionally view yourself from above helps prevent you from being swallowed by the waves of emotion.

While you can gain insights through self-coaching, since the questions are generated by your own brain, it is difficult to step outside of your own framework.

To have an eye-opening experience of realization, I think it is best to try professional coaching. You will likely discover things like, 'I can't believe such an insight came from within me!'

Insights have the power to clear away the fog in your mind.
That is why I love coaching.

Thank you very much for reading until the end.