Five Minutes in a Park with Only Swings

As I tried to put on my shoes at the entrance,
"I don't want to go to daycare."
My two-year-old son said, looking down.
"You don't want to go to daycare? Why?"
"Because Mommy isn't there!"
He said, and burst into tears at the same time.

I wonder how many times we've had this conversation.

I know. You want to be with Mommy, don't you?
I understand. ...But.
I picked up my son and left the house.

My son wrapped his arms around my neck and gripped the collar of my shirt tightly.
I started walking, patting his back with one hand.

My son stopped crying for the most part, but occasionally muttered, "I don't want to go to daycare."
After walking for about five minutes, we passed by a small park that had nothing but swings.

"Go here."
"Okay."
At this time of the morning, there is no one in this park.
Two swings are always waiting for us.

We both get on one swing together.
I sit him on my lap facing me, and we start to swing little by little.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.

During that time, neither my son nor I say a word.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.

I support his back with my left hand and stroke his hair with my right. His fluffy hair sways in time with the swing.

Five minutes.

Every day, for five minutes, we spend this silent time on the swings.
(I don't want to go to daycare.)
(Is it okay to make him go to daycare when he hates it?)
(I want to be with Mommy.)
(Should I be spending more time with him?)
Back and forth.
Back and forth.

When the five minutes are up, I say, "Shall we go now?" and stop the swing.

Reluctantly, very reluctantly, my son starts to walk. He doesn't cry anymore, and he doesn't ask to be carried.

And even with a pout on his face, he walks to daycare.
When we arrive, he says goodbye with a face that looks like he's about to cry.
"Have a good day."
"I'm off."

My son is holding back his feelings, so I can't cry. I left the daycare with a smile.

*

In the evening.
I pick up my son, and we go back to the park with only swings.

"Go here."
"Okay."

This time, I put my son on my lap facing the same way.
The view from my son's perspective is the sky and the trees.
Swaying
Swaying

"Today, I went to the park."
"A friend fell down."
"The teacher put a bandage on them."
"I ate a donut."
My son talks a lot on the way home.
He tries to tell me everything that happened that day.

"Look, Mama, a cloud!"
"It is a cloud. It's beautiful, isn't it?"
Swaying
Swaying

We both did our best today, didn't we?

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