What determines a child's trust in their teacher?

Why won't the children take what I say seriously?

If I act more cheerful, will the children follow my lead?

Why is the classroom so unsettled even though I try to be kind?

There are surely many teachers who struggle with these concerns.

However, having observed many children and teachers in the field, I am convinced of one thing.

Whether a child trusts a teacher is not determined by their personality, such as being cheerful or kind.

Then, what does it depend on?

It depends on whether their words are consistent.

The despair of "what you say today is different from what you said yesterday"

The type of teacher children dislike the most.

It is the teacher who says something different now from what they said before.

Previously, during rehearsals for a school play, something like this happened.

One day, the teacher in charge told the children this:

"Tomorrow we will do a read-through of the lines for scene 3, so please try to memorize them as much as you can."

The diligent children, especially those in lead roles with many lines, practiced hard at home until late at night with that intention.

However, the next day, the teacher said this.

"Well... scene 1 isn't quite ready. So, we're going to work on that today."

Without any explanation, practice for scene 1 began suddenly.

No one was prepared for that. So, it didn't go well at all.

Then, the teacher warned everyone, "That's not good enough. You need to take this more seriously!"

The teacher scolded the whole class.

In the end, they never got to work on scene 3 that day.

From the teacher's perspective, they probably thought it was their own way of being flexible.

They likely didn't think for a moment that they had said anything wrong.

However, from that moment on, the children began to doubt the teacher's words.

Because of this incident, the thread of trust was broken, and by the time the actual performance approached, the children stopped listening to the teacher entirely.

Ultimately, the teacher ended up stepping down from the role just before the event.

It was the worst possible outcome, placing a heavy burden on the surrounding teachers as well.

"Small mistakes" accumulate hundreds of times

Teachers who are deeply disliked by children at school make these kinds of mistakes, saying things that contradict what they said before.

They repeat this unconsciously dozens, no, surely hundreds of times.

Children are inherently generous. They will forgive you for one or two mistakes.

However, if a teacher takes advantage of that and continues to treat children lightly, the situation will head in an irreversible direction.

I have seen nearly ten people who were forced to quit teaching after facing strong resistance from their students.

In most of those cases, the cause was not a lack of teaching ability.

It was not that they lacked kindness, nor was it a problem involving violence or verbal abuse.

However, they lacked an awareness of the weight of the words they spoke.

They thought lightly, assuming that "it's fine because they are just children,"

and when they said something different from before or said something wrong, they would gloss over it without explanation or apology.

That complacency was their undoing.

Three ironclad rules for becoming an "unwavering teacher"

So, what should you do to become an "unwavering teacher" who earns the trust of children?

1. Once you give an instruction, do not change it until the end.

The basics boil down to this. No matter how many times you are asked, give the exact same instruction, word for word, as before.

"Word for word? Is it really that serious?!"

Yes. It is important to have that mindset.

An "inconsistent teacher" changes their instructions every time they speak, even when they intend to say the same thing.

Teacher: "When the chime rings, say 'gochisosama' (thank you for the meal) and start clearing your dishes."

Student A: "Teacher, if I finish eating early, I can say 'gochisosama' then, right?"

Teacher: "Oh, I see. Well then, let's all say 'gochisosama' once everyone has finished eating."

Student B: "If I haven't finished by the time the chime rings, can I say 'gochisosama' later?"

Teacher: "Ah, sure, if that's the case for you, go ahead."

Student C: "I've already said 'gochisosama,' so can I start clearing my dishes even if the chime hasn't rung yet?"

Teacher: "Well... I guess that's fine. Go ahead and clear them."

It's like this. Through the repetition of things like this, the teacher's instructions stop being followed.

In this case, even if there are children who finish eating early, you just need to have them wait until the chime, as instructed initially.

Because the teacher didn't think that far ahead when giving the instruction, they end up wavering due to the diverse reactions of the children.

If it were me, even if children asked me various things like the above, I would just...

"When the chime rings, say 'gochisosama' and start clearing your dishes."

...and just repeat that gently with a smile, over and over.

Unless something extraordinary happens, I will not change my instructions.

This consistency gives children a sense of security, making them feel that 'it will be okay if I follow this teacher.'

2. When you absolutely must make a change, provide an 'explanation' and an 'apology'

However, because the educational environment is dynamic, there will be times when you have no choice but to change your instructions.

In those moments, never 'pretend you didn't notice' or 'try to gloss over it'.

For example,

'We were scheduled to have a class activity during this time, but I am changing it. Because of tomorrow's weather, we have to do the school-wide practice today that was originally scheduled for tomorrow. I am really sorry, as I know you were all looking forward to it. I am currently checking the gymnasium's availability for next week. I will let you know by the end of this week when we can do it.'

Children trust teachers who can properly apologize to them—even when it isn't the teacher's fault—and who also carefully explain how they will handle the situation afterward.

3. Develop the habit of thinking for a 'split second' before you speak

Before giving instructions, try asking yourself this question in your heart:

'Is what I am about to say appropriate as a teacher? Can I take responsibility for it until the end?'

Just by having this 'split-second brake,' the weight of your words will change dramatically.

Even if you lack confidence, you can still be 'unwavering'

Your lessons aren't going well, or you lack confidence in classroom management.

As a young teacher, you might be harboring such anxieties.

However, being "unwavering" is not something that can only be achieved by gaining experience as a teacher.

Even without special talent or a long career, you can start from this very moment with just a change in mindset.

Take responsibility for your words. If you make a mistake, apologize sincerely.

Think carefully before giving instructions so that you do not have to change them later.

It may seem obvious, but it is important.

Teachers who can build upon these things will be able to survive in the field for a long time.

This is because if you can gain the trust of your students, your work will become surprisingly enjoyable and easier to manage.

Because your work is enjoyable, you can be even kinder to the children.

I sincerely hope that your words, as a young teacher, will become a reliable guide for your students.