Illuminated by everyone's words, my delicate self looks forward

“I’ve started to see my own shape little by little”

There are things I’ve come to see through the comments I received from all of you.

That is, the confusion surrounding me is not a bad thing.
That there is no need to feel anxious.
And that all of you are truly by my side.

I received so many incredibly warm comments... I truly couldn't stop the tears... and I was a little confused by that too, but...

I was so happy to realize that my current changes are very important. And that even someone like me is properly connected to all of your hearts. Just that alone made me happy, and my heart felt light and airy.

When I thought about what it means to be myself, the old me would have immediately thought... that I was a “useless person with a weak heart that no one could understand.”

But the version of myself I think of since starting note is “a person who can accept this weak self and keep walking, even if slowly.”

That’s what I thought, but... I wonder if I hadn't fully committed to that after all.

I’ve never had the emotion of happinessoccupy such a large part of my heart in my life until now, so I’ve been full of confusion...

Before, it felt like 70-80% was pain and suffering, and 20-30% was happiness and joy, and I was just barely hanging on by finding small bits of happiness...

Now it’s the opposite... it has changed to where 70-80% is happiness, joy, and peace, and 20-30% is loneliness and pain... and even when pain visits, I think I’m able to feel that it’s okay because happiness is waiting once I get through this.

This is an emotion I realized through a comment Tsumugi-san gave me...

I had unconsciously developed feelings like “Is it okay to spend every day just being happy?” or “Must I always carry some kind of pain in my heart?”... and I had a sense that I wouldn't be myself if I didn't have much pain.

But while reading everyone’s comments, I realized that having this change of heart didn't mean “the me at my core has changed”... and I was just so happy to be able to think “I’m fine just as I am” more than ever before.

So many people are acknowledging that “whatever kind of Sakuran I am, I am still Sakuran”... that made me truly happy, and I was able to feel from the bottom of my heart that it’s okay to be my true self.

Even if the emotions flowing within me change, it doesn't mean the person I am changes. I want to cherish the heart that is more full of gratitude than ever for those who interact with me, and the self that wants to cherish the warmth of the heart.

I want to be a person who can cherish that.

No matter what, as long as I am the person I am... I want to make sure I never lose the act of cherishing myself.

So that I, and only I, can continue to accept my past self in its entirety.

Including this change, a day will come when I can say that there were days like this too.

I have all of you. Just thinking that makes me a little stronger today. And once again, I can like myself a little more.

By stacking up days like these, I want to build a future where I can look back and think my life was wonderful.

Because the feeling of loving you all shows me a gentle future.

Thank you for reading until the end🌸

Thank you so much for all the comments on my last article (;;)

Everyone is truly so warm, and I felt my heart swell thinking about how lucky I am to have met such wonderful people and to be able to get along with you all.

If it weren't for you all, I would never have encountered these days filled with happiness, nor would I have been able to accept this confusion.
I truly cannot thank you enough. Gratitude overflows in my heart every single day.

I will protect this place where I can exchange words with all of you whom I love, in my own way. And I will keep walking forward so that I can talk with you even more.

Thank you so much for always wrapping me in such warmth😢♡

I may not be able to do much, but I will continue to write down my feelings for you all from now on🌸

Thank you so much for all the likes, follows, and warm comments(ᐡ´•̥ ω •̥` ᐡ)♡

So that we can keep moving forward while staying close to each other forever... I would be happy if you would stay with me from now on too🥺💓