I, a sensitive person, never knew that 'I can do it too' could bring me such joy

This is what it means to live as my true self.

A feeling that had been gently spreading through my heart.

I can breathe easier now.
I finally feel like I want to live.

Before I knew it, those thoughts were warming my chest.

Following my husband's job transfer, I set my sights on the remote work I had always wanted to try.

I applied over and over again, and the days of receiving no response made me feel like I was going crazy. There were days when I would apologize to my husband every day, blaming myself and unable to stop the tears.

In those days with no end in sight... I was the one giving up, thinking, 'I can't do this.'

Even so, I just didn't want to repeat the painful experiences from my previous job, so I kept applying without giving up.

And at the beginning of this year, I finally found a company that hired me, which brings me to where I am now.

Honestly, I didn't even know if I was suited for this, and although I learned about PCs in high school, I didn't have any office experience. So I had nothing to highlight... but I didn't want to give up... The days with no end in sight only fueled my anxiety.

I have always loved making things, and I thought manufacturing was my true calling. But no matter how much I loved the work, the environment and the interpersonal relationships were difficult.

The loud noise of the machines and the shouting of my boss.
There were so many people, and the scenery flowing before my eyes made me dizzy.

In such an environment, I repeatedly suffered from depression and had to take leave many times.

The pain of not being able to do the work I loved was suffocating. 'I love this work so much, why can't I do it?' Those thoughts kept overflowing, and I didn't even want to live anymore.

Looking back now, perhaps I had vaguely wanted to work in a quiet place, a calm space, even back then.

And when my husband's transfer was decided, I made up my mind to become a remote worker.

This is my chance. It's now or never.
That's what I thought...

At first, I aimed to be a web writer and even received training in the basics, but I couldn't find work, so I broadened my horizons and applied elsewhere, which led to my current result.

When I was hired, I felt anxious because the content was a bit different from what was discussed in the interview, but now I have grown enough to be entrusted with various tasks.

The time I spent alone in my room, feeling anxious all the time.
That has now become the environment where I can concentrate the best.

This environment is exactly what allows my heart to be calm and enables me to work.

I thought it was natural to go out to work. I had always blamed myself for not being able to do things like everyone else. For someone like me, realizing that 'there are things I can do properly too' feels like a big step forward.

Doing what I can without comparing myself to others. Having every single one of my efforts properly valued.

I have finally found a place where I don't have to deny who I am.

In the midst of these dizzying days, I have been able to grow steadily. And more than anything, I am so happy that I can work properly just as my sensitive self.

There are some things you won't know until you try.
If I try and can't do it, I can just think about it then.

Thinking that way, my heart swells with emotion every day that I am able to work.
Today, too, I feel that I want to live each day cherishing every little thing I can do.

Thank you so much for reading until the end.
I just wanted to write down some thoughts that crossed my mind while I was working.

I used to have a terrible habit of giving up, but
'I'll give it a try!'
The step I took with those words is what saves me now.

And I realize every day that the reason I have come to believe in my own strength is because of the kind and warm words from all of you.
Thank you all so much, always.

I am truly so happy that I can work every day just as my sensitive self... it made my heart swell.

I feel like I have been able to discover even more of who I am since meeting all of you.
I can do my best because you are all here.
Thank you so, so much!

And once again, thank you so much for reading until the end.
I hope you will continue to support me as I am.