When you can no longer go to school... what to do at that time

Hello, this is Saki.

Today, I'd like to talk about how
when something happens, the person you should focus on is
the child themselves, not those around them.

My eldest son is in the fourth grade of elementary school, but
his homeroom teacher is quite strict, or rather,
it seems like a teacher who yells
whenever something doesn't go their way.

Every time the teacher yells, my son and his classmates
seem to be just terrified, unable to say anything.
The teacher even says things like, "I'm in a bad mood right now,"
and it seems they yell at least once a day.

About a month ago, my son started
suddenly bursting into tears in the evenings and at night,
and yesterday, he finally reached the point where he
couldn't go to school.

Well, I was the one who let him play hooky.
He was crying so much and looked so gloomy that
I decided to let him stay home today to
help him get his feelings back on track.

When I checked Monday's schedule, it was
PE, Life Studies, Art, Math, and Japanese.
For PE, we went for a walk around the neighborhood together.

For Math and Japanese, we decided he would do self-study with workbooks,
and for the Life Studies period, we decided together
to write down what he is thinking about right now.

What we wrote down was about the "pros and cons
of not going to school." The pro is
that he doesn't have to see his homeroom teacher.

The cons are
that he would miss out on various things, like his friends, school lunch,
and classes he loves like Science and Art, and after writing those down,

he seemed to realize that "there are more cons."
I asked him, "So, what shall we do?" and
we decided to come up with a few strategies to deal with the teacher.

When the teacher is yelling at my son himself,
he should just honestly admit his mistake and correct it, and
when the teacher is yelling at someone else,
he should just think vaguely, "They're yelling again,"
and distract himself.

It seems there is a move in Yu-Gi-Oh called "Mirror Force," and he seems to have decided on his own to use that to keep the teacher's anger from being absorbed into himself.

During study time, he scribbled down what he was thinking on paper, and once he felt refreshed, he just calmly worked through his drills according to the schedule.

He spent his Monday like that, but honestly, as a parent, I couldn't help but worry about nothing but, "Will he be able to go to school properly again starting tomorrow..."

But that wasn't what I should have been focusing on. I realized that I needed to pay close attention to my son's "now." I needed to be there for him, to understand what he is struggling with right now and what he wants to do.

That is why I decided to take the plunge and let him play hooky, thinking that it allowed him to stop and get his feelings in order.

I am sure waves like this will come many more times this school year. But each time, I will face my child's "now" firmly.

Instead of focusing on the superficial question of how to get him to go to school when something negative happens

I will live with the courage to return to the basics and think about what should be cherished for this child's life.

Even if my feelings waver, I can center myself firmly. By mastering the basics of "how to be," I can return to being a cheerful and positive version of myself.

It was a valuable experience that made me realize that for the sake of our children, we adults also need to keep our own "way of being" in order.

Saki

P.S.

Are you able to center your "way of being"?

I share tips on centering so you can return to yourself even when you feel off-balance in
this e-book.
Please take a look!
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