When yelled at, people stop thinking. What actions can we take to grow together?

Hello, this is Saki.

Today, I'd like to talk about how
"there are almost no children who can answer the question 'Why did you do that?'"

My son was telling me about what happened at school today
after he got out of the bath,

and he said that a friend of his was asked by the teacher in front of everyone,
"Why did you get this problem wrong?"
and the child couldn't say anything and just cried.

I know this kind of situation all too well...

When my child did something wrong, I used to
yell, "Why did you do that!"
based on my emotions.

There was some reason
that led to that result, but

even if you ask "Why?"
it is still difficult for a child under 10
to answer properly.

Actually, even the expression "did something wrong"
is just a perspective
that suits me.

It might have been an experiment out of curiosity,
or they might have reached that result
without thinking much about it.

In the first place, regardless of the cause,
it is actually rare to find a child
who can clearly explain "It's because of X"
to an adult who is cornering them with a scary face.

That is precisely why
you should literally "be the adult here"
and lower your perspective to match the child's.

"Was it something like this?"
"Did you do it because you thought of it as such and such?"
"Did it just happen by accident?"

Present every possible scenario
from your side and observe their reaction.

When you do that, they will start to
slowly share what they
actually wanted to say.

It requires patience from the adult,
but I believe that these moments
are the perfect opportunity for both
the child and the adult to grow together.

I learned and realized this
from a stern homeroom teacher.

Saki

P.S.

You can learn the methods of "aligning your way of being"
that I practice in my daily life
to help my mother and family live peacefully.

First, please
get the e-book from the image below!
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