Frustration is not a bad thing. It is a 'sign' to help you find awareness.

Hello, this is Saki.

Today, I want to talk about
'observing your frustration and unease instead of bottling them up.'

This time, I am sending this as a message to a mother who reached out to me for advice.

This time,
I am sending this as a message to a mother who reached out to me for advice.

'I want to raise my child properly, but I am so overwhelmed with my own life that I cannot face them properly. Am I wrong as a mother?'

I understand that you are going through a very painful time.

Many of the mothers who come to me for consultation
are, like this person, very serious and
struggling, thinking, 'I want to do something about this.'

Generally, mothers are always chased by time, thinking, 'I have to do this,'
'I have to do that,'
and are in a situation where both their bodies and minds are exhausted.

Even though you are raising children as a couple, you may find that
the burden on the mother is often greater,
and there are moms who cannot even rest their minds
because they are constantly thinking about their children's schedules, health, and school.

And, even though you are working so hard,
you may feel self-loathing,
thinking you haven't been able to do anything for your children or yourself...

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　Anger is just a sign. It is by no means a bad thing.
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One concept in psychology and counseling
is to view anger as a 'secondary emotion',
and consider the emotions hidden deep within it
as 'primary emotions'.

Why do feelings of frustration and unease
arise in the first place?
The idea is that beyond digging deep,
there are the emotions you are truly feeling,

and if you dig even deeper,
hidden behind those emotions
are the 'things you actually want to do'.

Ideally, it would be desirable to face those
'things you actually want to do'
and act on them honestly.

So, when anger wells up,
especially when you are busy, I want you to pause for a moment
and dig deep into your emotions.

When you feel anger strongly,
it means there is an equally strong desire you want to convey.

And what I want you to remember is
that anger itself is not a bad thing.
It is okay not to feel guilty for experiencing it.

Instead of suppressing the emotion of anger as something bad,
view that anger as a 'sign'
and explore what you truly want to do.

It is best to prepare paper and a pen to face it,
but you can also type it out in your smartphone's memo app.
In any case, try to get it out of your head and put it into words.

If we were to dig deeper into the worries
of the mom who consulted me earlier...

Why did I feel frustrated?
↓
(What emotions am I actually feeling?)
↓
I didn't want to give up on my child or myself,
and it was painful.
↓
(What do I truly want to do?)
↓
I want to face both my child and myself
more properly!

If you can realize, "Ah, I really want to face this properly,"
then you can move on.

Next,
you can think, "So, how should I go about facing it?"
and approach it positively.

First, try listening.
You can talk directly with the other person,
and you can also face yourself by writing things down.

By building up discussions and the like,
move your actions forward, even if just by a millimeter.

When you are suffering in the midst of anger,
start by accepting those emotions.

Even if it is just a little bit of frustration,
I hope you can face it warmly
without letting it slip by.

Especially when you don't have time, try to make
a few minutes to stop and take time for yourself.

I will also continue to build up my efforts little by little every day!

Saki

P.S.
You can learn the methods of 'adjusting your way of being' that I practice in my daily life to help my mother and family live peacefully.
First, please receive the e-book from the image below!
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