Eating Alone is Practice for Taking Responsibility

Sometimes, while I'm going all out to make something elaborate when I'm eating alone, I get frustrated and think, 'Why did I go to all this trouble?'

Hello.
I'm Ayaka.

Since my husband, Megane-san, works night shifts, I eat dinner alone about half the week. I don't feel lonely about it, and I actually quite like my nights alone where I can eat whatever I want without having to worry about anyone else.

Of course, I also like eating with someone else and talking about how delicious the food is, but since I tend to accommodate others, I often end up choosing menu items that my husband, Megane-san, prefers.

Having written this far, I feel a sense of discomfort with myself, thinking, 'Wait a minute.'

I've been calling it his 'preferred menu' in a nice way, but I realized I'm just 'going along with it.'

It's the same when I eat out. I tend to get lost even when deciding what I want to eat, so I often just go along with the menu someone else decides, and in fact, I sometimes find it easier if someone just tells me, 'Eat this.'

So, I sometimes pretend to be indecisive and act like, 'Oh! That's what I wanted to eat too,' when someone else picks the menu.
I'm waiting for acting offers.

First of all, the common 'it's a hassle to think of a menu' is a given, but it's not just that; I don't really have a strong preference for what I want to eat, so it's easier on my mind if someone else decides.

Even if I'm in the mood for udon but end up eating ramen, I don't have any objections. Even though I was really craving udon.

I suppose I just hate it when the other person feels like, 'I wasn't in the mood for this,' regarding a menu I chose. When I write down these sudden moments of discomfort in my daily life like this, I expose my true self.

When I eat alone, I don't need to accommodate anyone, and I can't have anyone else decide what I eat.

If I think, 'This isn't what I wanted to eat today,' that's also my own responsibility. It's much healthier than blaming someone else, isn't it?

When you put it that way, 'eating alone' is practice for taking responsibility. It shouldn't be underestimated.

After writing all this, I'll probably be accommodating someone else again tomorrow.