Changing Yourself and Your Children Through the 'Point-Addition Method'—The Thoughts Behind the Ganbari Animals Video

I created a video themed around the 'point-addition method' featuring the Ganbari Animals.
In this article, I would like to talk about the personal experiences behind it, and how this way of thinking affects parent-child relationships and self-esteem.

My low self-esteem and the clashes with my child

I have been arguing with my middle school son quite often lately.

Unable to let go of being 'right,' I cannot accept my son's opinions and end up trying to argue him down...

Deep inside me, there was a 'low self-esteem' that I had been carrying for a long time.

Small rejections at work, failures, and my experience with adjustment disorder and depression.
I realized that the habit of blaming myself, thinking 'I'm no good' or 'I have to do better,' was casting a shadow over how I am as a parent.

What is the 'point-addition method'?

It was the 'point-addition method' that I encountered.

Instead of looking only at 'what you couldn't do' and blaming yourself like in a point-deduction system,
it is a style where you focus on 'what you could do' and 'what you worked hard at,' adding points to yourself one by one.

For example,

• You were able to wake up properly in the morning

• You were able to greet someone

• You were able to try something you weren't good at

These might all be very small things.
But acknowledging that you 'could do' them is the first step toward self-esteem.

Why I made the point-addition method video

I myself have blamed my 'incompetent self' for a long time.

That is precisely why I think, 'If I had thought about "adding" from the very beginning, how much more could I have cherished myself?'

This video is both a message to my past self and a cheer for anyone else struggling in the same way.

Even if the view count is low, I feel it is enough if it reaches just one person's heart.

Parent-child relationships change with an additive approach

Since I started practicing the additive approach, my relationship with my child has changed, little by little.

• When I find things my child has "done" and mention them, my child's expression naturally softens

• When I started acknowledging the things I "did today," I began to find joy in every day

Addition over subtraction.
Acknowledging over blaming.
Repeating that process gradually softens the atmosphere of the family as well.

Summary: Let's try 'adding' one more thing today

I want to be a parent who can 'rejoice together' rather than a 'correct parent.'

I want to cherish every day where I use the additive approach to say 'well done' to both myself and my child.

How about you, just one thing today?
Why not find something you or your loved ones have 'done' and add a point?

May that be the first step toward nurturing self-esteem.

Click here for the YouTube channel