A Directory of 'Eccentric Legends' Produced by ReinMeer Aomori: The Madonna of the Locker Room and the Afro Investor
1. Is the guy next to you a 'treasure' or a 'lemon'?
After five years at ReinMeer Aomori, you end up spending time with all sorts of people with strong personalities.
Today, I will arbitrarily catalog and introduce 'players with such intense characters that they come with a warning label,' chosen based on my own personal bias and prejudice.
2. Stock No. 1: [Safe, Secure, and Always Open to Teasing] Shohei Kishida (DF)
• Characteristics: A 'super-stable asset' that ReinMeer Aomori is proud of. Despite being a veteran with a wealth of J.League experience, his position within the team is, surprisingly, the 'immovable target for teasing.'
When the younger players tease him, instead of getting angry, he flashes a smile like a Madonna, as if to say, 'Finally, they've accepted me into the group!' His magnanimity is wider than the sea of Aomori. However, on the very rare occasion he receives a harsh scolding from the manager, the way he mutters a small rebuttal under his breath is like an individual investor desperately trying to withstand a market crash, and you can't watch it without tearing up.
• My Analysis: His greatest feature is his 'valuation that remains unchanged 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.'
First of all, his hairstyle never changes. His part and length have been constant for five years.
And during travel on away games, he is always on a video call with his two beloved children on the other side of the screen. He is currently running away with the 'Best Father Award' in the JFL world.
Stock No. 2: Kai Shigeta (FW) / Alias: The Afro High-Risk, High-Return Investor
• Characteristics: A 'twin stock' who is the same age as me and whose life is constantly linked to mine, from soccer to private life. A stoic man who is a pro-level cook and loves hot springs and muscle training. Even in a game we're playing for the first time, he gets genuinely angry if I make a bad move. He is a man who is too strict and never lets his guard down, even in play.
He loves music, and once he steps onto the pitch, he's the 'Dribble Kid' of the JFL world, dribbling as if he's keeping time with an intense, upbeat rhythm.
• My Analysis: His playstyle is that of a 'Dribble Kid.' His hairstyle occasionally explodes into an 'Afro,' and his stock price skyrockets just from the visual impact. Actually, he is also an 'investor.'
Stock No. 3: Shunsuke Ishikawa (DF/MF) / Alias: The Promising Growth Stock Trembling with Itchiness
• Characteristics: A 'just right' young player produced by ReinMeer. He has been teased affectionately by his seniors for a year, and when that stress reaches its limit, he has a special constitution where his 'whole body starts to itch.'
He has an incomprehensible recovery method where he applies 'near-scalding hot water' to the itchy spots to feel good. Furthermore, he has the potential for 'compliance-ignoring' behavior, speaking casually to his seniors without even realizing it.
• The Strategist's Analysis: His foot speed is top-notch. However, the speed at which he crashes his car is also top-notch. In his private life, he carries the biggest risk factor of 'my dad is scary,' and he is always managed while keeping an eye on his father's mood. When he concentrates, his face looks weird, and his way of laughing is also weird. Sometimes he acts like a girl, but he runs like crazy on the pitch. He still has many 'bugs' right now, but he is a 'unique stock' of ReinMeer Aomori that will be unstoppable once he breaks out.
By the way, he also writes on note.
3. Conclusion
That was the analysis of the 'ReinMeer Aomori Eccentric Legend Stocks' based on the bias and prejudice of the strategist, Sakuma.
'I want you to analyze that player next!'
'Expose that weird habit of his from the perspective of a strategist!'
If you have any such requests, please let me know in the comments section. I also welcome 'bug information (episodes)' from off the pitch that only the supporters know.
Everything depends on my analysis (and my mood that day).
'They are fighting on their respective pitches now, but the bond we formed while holding the 'Boss (snow shovel)' together in the Aomori blizzard will continue to shine forever in my portfolio lol'