The Fairy Tale of 'The Monster Who Writes Everything in Excel'

I had an AI write a fairy tale.

Once upon a time, in a small village, there lived a strange monster.

The monster would hunch its back, which was larger than a mountain, and peer into the village houses at night.

However, it did not eat children or ruin the fields.

There was only one thing the monster did.

It wrote everything in Excel.

The number of morning dewdrops in the village.
The number of times the baker woman sighed.
The angle at which Pochi the dog wagged its tail.
The time the baby laughed.
The volume of the wind's 'whoosh' sound.

The monster wrote it all down in Excel.

Column A for 'Date'.
Column B for 'Event'.
Column C for 'Feeling'.
Column D for 'Remarks'.

The monster grinned and tapped the keyboard with its thick fingers.

'The world is safe once it is put into a table.'

Saying that, it colored the cells green.

At first, the villagers were troubled.

'Even my nap is being recorded.'
'My feelings of love are being turned into a pivot table.'
'The location of my secret base is on Sheet 3!'

But the monster meant no harm.

Rather, it intended to cherish everything so that it would not forget about the village.

One winter, a heavy snow fell on the village.

The snow did not stop for three days and three nights, and the roads, bridges, and fields were all buried in white.

The villagers lost track of where the firewood was, which houses had elderly people, and which roads were safe.

At that moment, the monster appeared from beyond the mountain.

Wait there. Everything is in my Excel.

The monster opened a large laptop.

Sheet: 'Village Odds and Ends'. Filter: 'Firewood'. Conditional Formatting: 'Dangerous paths in red'.

Then, it immediately knew which houses had firewood, which paths were safe to take, and which elderly women lived alone.

The villagers were saved.

Thank you, Excel Monster!

Everyone said in unison.

However, that night.

The monster sat alone on the snow.

Mina, a village child, approached quietly.

Why are you crying?

The monster let a tear fall.

The tear soaked into the snow, making a small round hole.

I thought I could write everything in Excel.

The monster said.

But I didn't know which cell to put the voices of everyone saying 'thank you' today into.

Mina thought for a moment, then sat down next to the monster.

Isn't it okay not to put it in?

What?

There are things you don't need to put in a table, even if you don't want to forget them. There are some things you can just keep in your heart.

The monster looked blankly.

'Inside your heart... which folder is that in?'

Mina laughed.

'It's not a folder.'

The monster was silent for a while.

Then, it opened Excel.

Column A for 'Date', Column B for 'Event', and Column C for 'Feeling'.

And in Column D, it wrote this:

'No need to write it down'

From the next day on, the monster changed a little.

Sometimes it counted the morning dew, sometimes it didn't. It pretended not to hear the baker woman's sighs. It just looked at Pochi the dog's tail and smiled.

Even so, the monster still wrote in Excel from time to time.

The village's sowing day. The bridge repair schedule. The festival preparation list. Everyone's birthdays.

The monster's Excel was no longer a box that trapped the village.

It had become a map that helped the village.

Before long, spring came and the snow melted.

Mina asked the monster,

'Hey, are you going to write today in Excel, too?'

The monster sniffed with its large nose and looked up at the sky.

The blue sky. The white clouds. The sound of birds chirping in the distance. The scent of spring.

The monster smiled.

"Today, I won't save."

With that, the monster closed its laptop.

And together with the villagers, it walked along the spring path.

It was a wonderful day, with nothing entered anywhere.