Picky Eating and Small Appetites: A Perspective on Difficulty Eating

My daughter was a picky eater.
There was a time when I held the faint hope that if we went to McDonald's, she would surely eat happily.

Even when I took her there thinking, 'Every child loves McDonald's,' all she would eat were the fries. She wouldn't touch the hamburger and never ate it.
Back when she only ate udon, I thought if she could at least eat a hamburger, she might get some protein, but alas!
Come to think of it, she didn't eat sandwiches or hot dogs either.

At the time, I didn't understand why she wouldn't eat even McDonald's, which every child loves, but now I understand...

It wasn't that she didn't want to eat.It was just that she 'didn't know how to eat it.'That was all.

Just before the moment of 'taking a bite'

When faced with food, you open your mouth wide. You capture it with your lips, and use your front teeth to bite off an 'appropriate mouthful.' These are the fruits of advanced 'oral function.'

In fact, this 'biting off' action is what develops the 'ruler' for measuring how much you can eat yourself. Back then, she couldn't draw the blueprint for it, and she must have stood there frozen, not knowing how to process the food.

It is a sign of 'development,' not 'manners'

Looking back, her daily life was scattered with many signs indicating that her oral functions were still in preparation.

These are by no means problems of 'bad manners,' but rather signs of ongoing development caused by 'primitive reflexes' (such as the sucking reflex) that should have been outgrown in infancy still remaining in the mouth.
Does your child show any of these signs?

• Eating habits:

  • Makes smacking sounds while eating (difficulty closing the mouth)

  • Swallows food whole or keeps it in the mouth forever

  • Bites the straw instead of 'sucking' on it

  • Extreme picky eating (sensitivity to specific textures)

• Facial features:

  • Thumb sucking persists, or bites on clothing collars or pencils

  • Excessive drooling or mouth is always open (mouth breathing)

  • Tongue is always sticking out between the front teeth

• Surprising connections:

  • The mouth moves in sync when using scissors (associated reaction)

  • Slightly unclear pronunciation (e.g., 's', 't', and 'r' sounds)

These may be signs that the child has missed a few steps in the learning process of transitioning their mouth from 'baby' to 'adult' mode.
This is one of the reasons that can lead to picky eating, and it results in the child feeling like they 'don't know how to eat' when food is placed in front of them.

Recovering missed lessons from the weaning period through play

If you think, 'Maybe this applies to my child too,' there is no need to panic. If they didn't fully learn these skills during the weaning period, they can simply practice them now. Oral functions can be retrained at any time.

Here are a few 'mouth play' activities you can enjoy at home.

• 'Blowing' games: Use soap bubbles or party blowers to strengthen the lips and regulate breathing.

• 'Gargling' games: Stimulate the muscles of the mouth with bubbling and gargling exercises.

• Developing the 'core': It may be surprising, but the muscles around the mouth and throat, as well as the tongue (which is also a muscle), are connected to the core muscles. When the core is strengthened through full-body exercise, oral functions such as lip, tongue, and throat movement, as well as chewing, will work properly.

At any time, as many times as needed

That child is now able to eat a variety of things, as if the time when they couldn't eat anything was just a lie.

Before dismissing it as 'picky eating,' please try to listen to what your child's mouth is saying. If they 'don't know how to eat,' it is okay to practice together.
There is no need to rush. I believe that each bite they take will eventually lead to a big, happy smile when they say, 'This is delicious!'

We have many other suggestions for parents who are worried about their child's picky eating or poor appetite.
We look forward to hearing from you.