It is 〇〇 that determines your worth

The draft was held on June 6th.
I was selected by Shinhan Bank, and it has been officially decided that I will play for Shinhan Bank in the WKBL this season!

The day before the draft, I hadn't been nervous at all, but once I arrived at the hotel, I gradually started to feel nervous, couldn't sleep much at night,
and even when morning came, my heart was still pounding.😅

When I arrived at the venue, there were so many staff members, and wearing a uniform with my name written in Korean made me feel like it was finally starting.

In the game, I played after confirming the bare minimum rules with people I was playing with for the first time.
When we were asking each other what our strengths were and discussing things like, 'Maybe this kind of play would be good,' the coach said, 'But remember, this is a draft, don't forget that,' which made me even more nervous. lol

I was happy to be able to play with Aya Sakai-san again, whom I had played with during my Aisin days.☺️
Thinking about how everyone had really prepared for this day made me feel amazed all over again, and
I also thought, 'Even if I get onto a team, most of the people here are going to be my opponents—
I don't like that!' lol

After the game, the draft was in the afternoon.
I was so nervous that I can't even remember if I've been this nervous in the last few years.

So, honestly, I don't even know what I was saying on stage when my name was called, or if I was even smiling.🤣
But, frankly, I felt very relieved.

After the press conference, I was very happy and relieved that I would be on the same team as Hirano-san.
One of the reasons I decided to challenge myself in the WKBL was that the success of Japanese players in the WKBL last season was very inspiring, and
I was very happy to be on the same team as Hirano-san, who is one of them.

This time, I was able to play with people who don't play in the W League, and what everyone mentioned was the speed of the transition (switching between offense and defense) of the W League players.

Everyone was surprised, saying, 'Your transitions are so fast,' and
since that had become normal for us, we didn't even think it was amazing, but
I was able to re-recognize that the days I spent playing basketball in Japan's top league were truly wonderful.

And later, as a personal realization, I thought about how much I had been worrying about how others evaluated me during the time between the end of the game and the afternoon draft.

If I really let my guard down, it comes out right away.
'Self-denying Rui-chan' lol
'I was totally useless,' 'I should have done this at that time,' etc., it all comes pouring out. lol

In a draft environment, external evaluation is of course important. However,
if I hadn't been selected by any team in that psychological state, I'm sure I would have,

'I am a worthless player.'
'I am completely useless.'

I would have definitely felt more depressed than necessary. lol

But is that really true?
Do you have worth because you were accepted, and no worth because you were rejected?

I do not think so.
Everyone surely worried a lot and made a decision on whether to take on the challenge in the first place, and prepared for it.
I believe there is value in that process.

Besides, I don't think there is any need for you to deny yourself.

Others might think, "You can only say that because you were nominated," but
whether I am nominated or not, I want to say the same words to myself. (Still need more practice😅)

Results alone are not your worth.
I believe the time and process spent working toward a goal are your worth and your assets.

So in that sense, I want to reward myself, and I am happy that I was able to take the first step toward a new stage!

I like taking on new challenges.
That is one of the reasons for this challenge.
I want to face it as I am, without trying to do it perfectly!

I would like you, who read this far, to ask yourself a little something too.

Don't you think you have no worth unless you succeed?
Don't you think you have no worth unless someone praises you?
What is "success" to you?

Are you denying yourself for the sake of a mold called "success" that someone else decided?

Where you are right now might already be a success to someone else.

By acknowledging and accepting yourself as you are now,
I think your heart will feel a little lighter.
It is you yourselfwho determines your worth.

Through this challenge, I was also able to
reaffirm that I will walk my own life at my own pace,
without being bound by results or swayed by the evaluations of others.

I was able to realize that again.

I would be happy if you could keep watching over my future challenges!
Thank you for reading this far🍀