From a Welfare Household to a PhD from the University of Tokyo (Part 8)

From Studying to Research

In graduate school, I finally began doing research.
I knew I was decent at studying, but my research ability was an unknown.
Even so, all I could do was give it my absolute best.

Studying and research are quite different, and I feel that many people fail because they cannot make that transition well.
Perhaps because I understood this difference, I think I was able to transition to research surprisingly smoothly.

By the time I completed graduate school, I had written eight papers (four of which were published) and given 16 oral presentations (five of which were abroad).
In arithmetic geometry, I think this is on the high side.
For example, the faculty member who appeared in (6) had four papers (two published) and five oral presentations at the time of completion.

Thanks to these achievements, I was able to successfully obtain my PhD and receive the Dean's Award.
I also secured a research position, and my job is still to conduct mathematical research.

It All Started at 15

I made the plan to complete graduate school when I was 15 years old.

To achieve that plan, I had to:
・Win a scholarship limited to humanities students and get accepted into the University of Tokyo's Humanities Division,
・Become the first person in history to advance from the Humanities Division to the Department of Mathematics,
・Maintain good grades while working a significant amount of part-time jobs,
・Pass the difficult graduate school entrance exams,
・Further obtain a Leading Graduate School program position and a JSPS Research Fellowship,
・And write sufficiently good papers to pass the doctoral examination,
all without failing a single time.

I tried my hardest to do so and achieved all of these, but
to do that, there were many times when I absolutely had to draw a winning ticket in a lottery.

I decided not to write too long about the situation at each point in time, so I am not confident that I conveyed this well.
I hope to supplement that point by continuing to update this note in the future.

Also, although I did not write about it in much detail, the biggest problem at each point was the issue of mental burden.
I ended up causing a great deal of 'trouble' for those around me in order to obtain the environment that my classmates took for granted, and that continued to torment me.

My high school homeroom teacher told me about a senior who, despite having good grades, started working right after high school to help their family.
I don't know why they told me that, but it felt as if I were being told, 'You should also start working after high school to help your family.'

My mother often said, 'If it weren't for you, my life would have been easier.'
I think that is true.
If I hadn't existed, none of the problems I've described would have happened, and I wouldn't have caused trouble for anyone because of them.

That is why I needed a powerful reason to move forward.
As one such reason, I decided to convince myself that 'if I were a mathematical genius, it would be a crime against humanity for that talent to disappear here.'

Since I had caused 'trouble' for everyone, I was constantly under pressure to prove my talent.
Enduring this mental burden, especially in situations where I was not even shown respect, was the most difficult thing.

But in reality, you shouldn't need a reason like this to pursue higher education.
Everyone should be given an equal opportunity to realize their dreams.

I have written this far with almost no revision, so I think there are many parts that are difficult to read.
Even so, I hope this article will be of some benefit to someone.

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