My True Dream

Hello✨

I really love the books by Seikan Kobayashi.
When I encounter his values,I can see things about my past self that I couldn't see before. I notice things I didn't know, and I can perceive myself in a new way.

I would like to share this with you all.

When you can't find a dream to aim for

There was a period when I was wandering, wondering what I wanted to become from now on. There are words that saved me when I was suffering because I couldn't find an answer.

How much gratitude did I have for my current environment and my way of being?
I think I was in a state of only looking at what I didn't have, saying I was missing this and that. I even thought it was better to have many dreams.

I was trapped by things I was chasing, such as wanting to become a handmade artist and start a business, wanting to publish a book, or wanting to travel abroad and experience foreign cultures. Because of that, I don't think I was properly looking at the 'happiness' that lies at the foundation.

The heart that feels happiness freezes

The things I was aiming for, saying I wanted to become this or that, apparently included 'constant dissatisfaction, complaints, whining, bad-mouthing, and grumbling.'

A DVD that made me realize the happiness I have now

Recently, I watched some DVDs with my husband.
'I Am Legend'
'Armageddon'
These two works are famous, aren't they?
At 37, I watched them for the first time.

I was deeply impressed by both works.
A life where humanity is on the verge of extinction due to a virus infection, the future one second ahead is hopeless, and one is constantly living side-by-side with the end of one's own fate.
The style of men risking their lives in the absurd place called space, where the countdown to Earth's destruction by a giant meteorite is underway. Parting with loved ones.

By watching the DVDs, reading Seikan Kobayashi's books, and introspecting on my current self, the way I feel 'happiness' has changed.

Starting from the moment I wake up in a warm futon in the morning,

'I was able to welcome a peaceful morning again today'
'I slept in a warm futon and I am healthy from the morning'
'There is air, there is light, and I can drink water'
'My family is healthy and safe'
My morning begins with this feeling: 'I was able to welcome a morning just like any other.'

From the morning, I am already sufficiently happy.

I had a change of heart, wondering, 'Why was I seeking anything more than this happiness?'

Living a life so filled with happiness, I found myself thinking, 'How should I live my life?'

Light illuminates those in darkness

A senior nurse who emitted light

Reading this passage reminded me of a senior colleague who truly emitted light. She was a senior female colleague who mentored me as my preceptor when I worked at the hospital.

She was about ten years older than me, but in a good way, she had no barriers; she was approachable, warm, and accepting. She was deeply trusted by those around her, a beloved character, and always smiling. Even for a shy newcomer like me, she was someone I felt comfortable around.

“I want to be someone who, like that senior colleague, brightens people up just by being there.”
That is what I thought.

I, who had been anxious and preoccupied only with my profession and titles, had my way of thinking changed 180 degrees.

My true dream

My true dream is,
“To be a shining self that brightly illuminates others.”

No matter what anyone says. I am grateful to Mr. Kobayashi for helping me clarify my core foundation of 'how I want to live' to this extent. Thank you very much.

Thank you for reading this far (*^^*) May you have a day where you can feel happiness.