Mother's Day was hell [Toxic Parent]

I didn't want to give anything for Mother's Day this year either.

Readers, please wait a moment before judging me as an 'unfilial child'.
The first year after I got married, I gave my mother chocolates for Mother's Day. Since she likes chocolate, I gave her some slightly expensive Lindt chocolates.

Instead of thanking me, she complained, 'You sent me something like these chocolate balls!' and then added, 'Did you send these to your mother-in-law too? If so, I think that's very inconsiderate,' fueling baseless anxiety that not only was she insulting my character, but that my mother-in-law must also be offended.

If my self-esteem had been any lower, I would have been agonizing over it, thinking, 'Oh! Is that right? I'm such an idiot,' or 'I have to apologize to my mother-in-law.' This is how toxic parents erode their child's self-esteem, stop them from thinking, and dominate them by turning them into people who can't decide anything for themselves. Since I have recovered, I calmly observed that communication structure and decided, 'I'll just think of her as a stranger.'

And so, I decided not to have any personal involvement with this strange woman.

By the way, my mother-in-law is a decent person, and of course, she didn't give any strange lectures or snide remarks about the chocolate balls (lol) I gave her. She had a normal reaction, saying 'Thank you,' and even sent a polite message saying, 'It was delicious,' giving me a glimpse of a person who is socially adept and pleasant. I don't expect such high-level communication techniques from my mother, so I think she could just say 'Thank you' for what she receives.

For example, if you say 'Hello,' you reply with 'Hello.' That's the basis of communication.If someone suddenly attacked you saying 'What was that!' in response, you would definitely distance yourself from them. That is exactly what my mother is doing. If she doesn't like it, she should just keep it to herself or complain to a friend. But even her friends would probably be put off by a mother who goes into a rage over Lindt chocolates and say, 'Isn't that a bit much?' You should repent for your own lack of social skills.

Because of things like that, and because it's complicated, I stopped sending presents to both sets of parents for a while.

However, this year, my husband gave his mother bath salts for Mother's Day.My mother-in-law had her breast removed due to breast cancer and stopped going to hot springs because she 'didn't want people to see the scars.' That's why he wanted to give her hot spring salts. Yes, it's natural to want to give things to good people.

Well, after sending it to my in-laws, I thought it would be awkward if I didn't send something to my own parents, so I bought a carnation flower arrangement online for my mother, who likes flowers, and sent it.Using our shared family Rakuten ID. Since that ID was in my husband's name, the sender was my husband. But I had already contacted my mother beforehand, saying, 'I'm sending you something I picked out and bought.' Just in case, I also tucked in a message card written in my name. This was because I knew she might start saying stupid things like, 'It came from your husband! Why didn't my daughter send anything!'

On the night the flowers arrived at my parents' house, she contacted my husband's LINE in a friendly manner, saying, 'Thank you. It's beautiful.' Well, I thought it was settled nicely, but... a long LINE message arrived in the middle of the night.

The content was rambling on about things like 'I want to see my daughter more' and 'Why is the sender my husband?'The message card and the prior phone call meant nothing. Furthermore, it continued with content like 'I am the victim, and my daughter is neglecting me,' which scared me, so I left it on read. If I had reacted to this LINE, I could see a future where I would be dragged into my mother's narrative of how she wants things to be and end up exhausted.

This is a bit of a leap, but I wish my parents were robots.I used to envy other people's friendly mothers, but now I think robots would be better. I like an anime called 'Time of Eve,' which has the theme of the relationship between robots and humans, and it also depicts the relationship between children and robots; robots respect humans and do not hurt them. There are the Three Laws of Robotics, and robots serve people.

I even think that robots, which are rational beings without souls, are better suited for raising children than humans.

Robots don't hurt their children based on their mood; they always give a normal reaction. Isn't that the absolute prerequisite for fostering a basic sense of security? And my mother also seeks an ideal daughter... a parent, a sister, and sometimes a child weaker than herself because she wants to act superior, someone who listens to everything, keeps her company when she's bored, and solves all her problems.Maybe you were the one who wanted a robot daughter.

Because I am an irrational human with a soul, I cannot handle things perfectly like a robot, and it's not my battery that wears out, but my spirit. That's why I've started to think about cost-performance in communication and emotional exchanges with people, including my mother. I've started calculating in my head, 'How much cost and return is there in associating with these people now?' If I don't do that, I'll be depleted... there is no such thing as free, infinite love in this world. I think I'm a cold person myself.

I want to become a hard, unbreakable robot, with my body also turning cold.

Thank you for reading to the end☆ It was a gloomy conclusion, but I'm not depressed at all! I'd be happy if you could also press the 'Like' button 👣