The Story of Changing My Name in Family Court
My name is Rema Hinata. I am 24 years old.
In January of this year, I made my first-ever appearance in family court and received permission to change my given name.
I am going to write down everything I can, so please feel free to read along.
The story of my life leading up to the name change
I was born between a funky mother who would throw her child on the floor and say, "I want to kill you," and an ultra-neglectful father whose first words upon appearing were, "Don't trouble your mother."
My contact books and sheet music were torn up, I was screamed at, "You should just go to child welfare and be separated from your mother!," I was frequently subjected to martial arts moves (*1), and I still have claw-shaped scars (*2) on my wrists. Oh, and since people ask sometimes, I'll write it here first: they are my biological parents. They are just funky.
*1: My mother is a dan-holder in various martial arts. Also, her (former) profession made use of that.
*2: It seems they formed while she was grabbing my wrists and losing her temper for n hours. I thought, "So nails really do pierce skin..."
Other funky occurrences include:
"Printing out posts from a major bulletin board with content like 'I hate my children and can't love them' and 'I want them to die,' and leaving them on the child's seat (*3)"
"Making me read non-fiction books about abuse and gruesome juvenile crimes, then making a scene about 'being killed by my own child' (*4)"
"Forcing me to watch diet videos since elementary school and relentlessly criticizing my body type (*5)"
and so on. I wonder if it was some kind of experiment.
*3: She asked me, "Did you read it?" while laughing.
*4: It is completely unclear what she was trying to achieve.
*5: I still get a shudder whenever I hear the famous classical music that was playing in the video.
I grew up steadily alongside these original attacks, started living alone when I went to university after being told to "get out," and burned out in my first year of university. As a result of pressure from relatives, social appearances, and various other things, I received financial support, and I just finished graduate school this spring (this is a hyper-blessed point).
Even though life has become a bit smoother over the last few years, my lack of energy hasn't changed; my whole body was always tense, and there were times when I couldn't handle my studies well, or my life fell apart and I had to be hospitalized.
When I thought about how I might spend my whole life trapped in trauma as a listless adult, I felt a jolt of horror, so I decided to change my name, as the name my parents called me had become a trigger. I had also always had gender dysphoria, so I wanted a name that was a bit more neutral.
Last summer, when things had settled down and I had a little more energy, during my second year of my master's program, I decided to try changing my name.
By the way, my original name is quite common, but it is dazzling, righteous, and has a very ironic look to it.
Summer 2025
When a university's name comes up, it's usually because there's been some kind of scandal. So, let's proactively write about the university regarding good things as well.University of Tokyo, thank you so much!!
After I decided to change my name, the first thing I did was change my name in university-related systems. The University of Tokyo had a system for using a common name based on gender dysphoria, so I first submitted a paper like this to the office,
and in about two weeks, I received permission and the name on my student ID was changed.
When you use a student ID, you can also change the name on your commuter pass, but the staff at the counter were a bit confused, thinking it was a change of surname.
Also, I thought, "Getting something like this to unlock something else feels like something out of a board game, which is cool," but no further chain reactions occurred. What a shame.
While thinking about such silly things, I consulted with the university's health center and student counseling office (which I had already been visiting) saying, "I want to change my name...", reported the change to my department after the fact saying, "The name on my student register has changed," had my name changed on the workplace roster, and changed my name one by one on mail-order sites and online services. The last one was particularly troublesome.
A senior student bought me a cake.
They couldn't think of a phrase to simply celebrate the name change, so they made it "(New Name) Birth!" By the way, my real birthday is in the winter.
Autumn
As a result of researching name changes during anxious late nights, I became knowledgeable enough to say I was the most informed person in the city where I lived. I read every personal account I could find and even scoured the legal precedent database available at the university.
A name change (legally termed "change of name") is done by filing a petition with the family court, but I read in an article that "judges judge based on track record," so I diligently used my new name to build a track record. I saved every Amazon address label, diligently printed out emails from the university, and told my friends about the situation and had them write me letters. How long has it been since I received a letter from someone?
A friend living in Sapporo enclosed a photo in their letter saying, "Delivering a summer morning in Hokkaido!," and for some reason, I cried uncontrollably.
By the way, I haven't written about this at all until now, but when you want to change your name, you basically need to explain to the court that 'I have been using this new name for this long, and my current name is inconvenient for social life.' If you use the orthodox reason of 'having used it as a common name for a long time,' it takes several years, but for those with certain circumstances, the required period is shorter (though it's a bit of a gacha with the judge).
To demonstrate these 'certain circumstances,' I had the university health center's psychiatry department write a medical certificate for gender dysphoria, and the student counseling center's counselor write an opinion letter regarding my family relationships. I imagine 'creating documents to submit to the family court' isn't a task they encounter very often, but I was grateful that they handled it very smoothly.
Also, while not directly related to the name change, I had to change labs due to various circumstances, and my master's thesis guidance was halted for about two months, which almost killed me.
Being a second-year master's student is already tough, but I was constantly falling apart and feeling unwell, and I had so little energy that I wondered if I could really finish.
Winter
As a result of everyone's cooperation, I gathered quite a bit of evidence. I received more New Year's cards than ever before, and my mailbox, which usually only gets mail for one person, became lively in a way that didn't feel like the Reiwa era.
I didn't feel like I could wait any longer while staying positive, so I decided to file the petition in January 2026, five months after I started using my common name.
During this period, the anxiety that my parents would find out and it would be the end was so intense that I frequently had dreams where my family found out about the name change and flew into a rage. Is it a curse?
Around the end of the year, I managed to see the light at the end of the tunnel with my master's thesis, so I organized the evidence I had collected and filled out the most important section of the name change petition, which is the 'specific circumstances requiring a change of name' field.
I heard that name change petitions based on parent-child relationships are hard to get approved, so I wrote it like this. Not that it wasn't all true, though.
The petitioner is a second-year master's student at a graduate school. Since puberty, I have felt discomfort with the gender on my family register and have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria.
The reading of my current name is used for women, and it makes me conscious of being a woman, which causes me immense mental distress. In addition, I suffered violence from my mother during childhood, and the act of seeing/writing my legal name is also accompanied by great pain.
Since I am known as '(current name)' among my university, workplace, and friends, there is no inconvenience caused by changing my name. I am filing this petition in hopes of changing my name to facilitate my work starting in April under my current name.
Since I didn't think this alone would be convincing enough, I created an 'attachment to the petition' and wrote various things about why I want to change my name now and the origin of my new name.
After that, I gathered all the university-related usage records (student ID, etc.), work-related documents (pay stubs, etc.), others (mail, etc.), as well as the medical certificate and opinion letter, and took them directly to the family court on January 5, 2026.
By the way, you need to pay 800 yen (plus postage for communication) when filing a name change petition. It's cheaper than I thought.
Petition successful
After the petition, I couldn't settle down at all and kept waiting for contact from the family court.
I had heard that 'if there is a prospect of the name change being approved, there will be an interview with the family court, and you will be contacted to schedule it,' so I searched for 'family court attire' and...
I bought a setup, deciding it was for the interview as an excuse.Isn't it cool?
Two weeks passed without any contact, and on January 21st, just as I was thinking about calling them,
I peeked into my mailbox in the morning and found an envelope from the court. When I opened it,
It was a paper saying, 'Permission is granted to change the name.'
I was so surprised that I froze on the spot, messaged many people on LINE, and received a huge number of 'congratulations.'
By the way, the remaining postage I had submitted was returned, so I used it for mid-winter greeting cards to the people who had sent me New Year's cards. A perfect use for it!
After that
I quietly went about changing my name on various services. There were quite a few places that said, 'You can change your surname online, but for a legal name change, you'll need to mail in documents or come to the counter,' and I did that while gritting my teeth. But there is an indescribable sense of exhilaration as things like bank accounts and credit cards change to my new name.
Also, when various people asked me, 'What should I call you?', I had them come up with a new nickname for me. It has become fairly established, and derivative forms have even emerged. I am incredibly happy about it.
The setup I had decided on my own was for 'Family Court' ended up not being used because an interview wasn't required, so
it ended up being used for my graduate school graduation ceremony.
Oh, and I also received some sake as a gift to celebrate my name change. According to the junior who chose it for me, they used the same mizuhiki knot as for a wedding because they hope a name change is something that only happens once.
I truly think that is exactly right.
I haven't told my parents about the name change. They will find out eventually, but since I have blocked them on LINE and cut off the relationship, I don't think I will ever see them again.
By the way, it seems my fortune-telling based on my name has become terrible. My recent worry is that I am short on money.
I still have bad dreams sometimes, but at the very least, in the sense that I can die with this name, I am really glad I changed it.
Thank you for sticking with this long post.Please give me work