Strong Light

There is a phrase about "enjoying one's youth," but I wonder how many people have actually spent their time in a way that makes them feel that way.
Going to school as usual, hanging out with friends as usual, and getting a partner as usual—sometimes that kind of "normal" is actually quite good.

As for me, I think I spent my time normally, for better or worse.
I went to school as usual, hung out with friends as usual, and it's not like I didn't have someone who was sort of like a partner for a fleeting moment.

However, if I were to point out one thing that wasn't normal—

In my second year of junior high, I stopped going to school.
When it was time to go to school in the morning, I would get a stomachache. Of course, it wasn't because I ate too much breakfast; it was psychological. Even at the time, I understood that the cause was being bullied by a classmate.

I don't want to go to school.

However, my mother was not the type to simply accept that. There were times she would forcibly put me in the car and drive me to the school gate. Even then, I couldn't bring myself to open the back door. The chime signaling the start of morning homeroom would ring out at the school gate, where no one was present but my mother and me.

I think I went about a week without being able to go to school. Honestly, I barely remember that period. Only the pain of how difficult it was remains in a corner of my memory.

It wasn't my mother who saved me.
It wasn't my father, my siblings, my friends, or my teachers either.

What saved me wasKinKi Kids.

At the time, it was around when the song "Eien no BLOODS" was released. Since it was also a Coca-Cola commercial song, some people might recognize it.

(↑ Both of them are so young...!)

Just as many people say things like "music saved me," in my case, that is exactly what happened.

It sounds cheap when put into words, but this song gave me courage. It illuminated my vision, which was pitch black with anxiety and despair. With the [strong light] that the two of them emitted.

Perhaps that is why, when I listen to this song, tears sometimes stream down my cheeks.

After I stopped going to school, my life didn't change dramatically. Even so, I went to school as usual, hung out with friends as usual, and (though I didn't get a partner), I think I was able to live an average life overall. It remains a painful memory, but I am glad that I was able to recover to some extent.
And for me, KinKi Kids became an irreplaceable presence. Even now, 20 years later, that has not changed.

I played the CD of "Eien no BLOODS" and read the lyrics again. The final phrase might have been words speaking to me back then.

To me from 20 years ago.
I, who am looking back on those days, am smiling now.