Rather than 'begging for what you don't have,' take 'pride in what you do have'

I open note again today.

There are all sorts of people on note. Interesting people, kind people, smart people. There are even some strange ones (wait, are there?), but there are almost no dangerous types who will relentlessly grind down your mental state.

At least within my field of vision, it is overflowing with wonderful note creators. I'm sure that today, too, lovely works are popping up one after another like plants sprouted by Totoro.

It has been about a year and a half since I started posting energetically on this platform called note. I've written a lot and even held personal projects. I've encountered many works and interacted with many creators. Thankfully, the number of followers, likes, and views has increased. I've even received awards in a few contests.

It is fulfilling, and it is a lot of fun.

✨

While it is fun, when I encounter truly wonderful works, I get mixed feelings. Of course, I am moved, thinking, 'That was incredibly interesting!', but that is merely my impression as a reader.

When this becomes an impression as a writer, it turns into 'Ugh, I'm so frustrated...' or 'Grrr...' or 'Argh!' or 'Darn it all!'

When that happens, things get quite troublesome. I start worrying about things I usually don't pay much attention to—the number of followers and likes, whether I was chosen for 'Today's Recommended Articles,' whether it was shared on X, and various other factors... Argh! Darn it all!

In this way, my inherent negativity is triggered, and I end up feeling down.

I am not a genius. At the very least, in the act of 'writing,' I do not believe I have been gifted with rare talent.

If you ask me if I'm mediocre, I don't think that's the case either. I have the pride of having gained experience, learned, and written, and I have achieved some results. I am not completely without talent (or so I would like to believe).

Besides, if I were mediocre, I wouldn't be able to post every day for 365 days, and there are people who find the very act of writing painful. Thinking about it that way, I feel it's wrong to simply belittle myself as mediocre. I am a possessor of middling talent.

The old me would have played a nihilistic character here. I would have spat out, 'Don't lump me in with you geniuses,' brushed aside my messy bangs, casually lit a cigarette, and looked down on the talented people with cold eyes. No, wait, I don't smoke.

However, perhaps I have grown somewhat, as I seem to be able to think more objectively and calmly than before.

I have my own way of doing things. That doesn't mean narrowing my options, but rather it's a technique to avoid pointlessly focusing on others. I have become able to be conscious of 'pride in what I have' rather than 'begging for what I don't have.'

Do not compare yourself to others, yet learn from them; believe in your own talent, yet continue to make efforts without overconfidence. I have become able to shift to that way of thinking.

Blocking out unnecessary information is surprisingly difficult. If you can do even a little bit of that, I think it leads to maintaining motivation.

My note path is a rough road with steep gradients, winding turns, and mud that catches my feet. I often stumble, fall, and find myself panting.

But I love walking this path right now. It's okay to be muddy. It's good to be muddy. I will keep my eyes fixed forward and walk my own path.

While enjoying the hardships in that way, I intend to continue note today, tomorrow, and the day after.

...And when I encounter another wonderful work, I suppose I will repeat the 'return to ✨' cycle. Darn it all.