Socially Hitman Side Story 3: 'Those Who Know the Blue Era'

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I am Dan Neraiuchi. I am a hitman.

Though I say hitman, I don't do things like killing people.

What I kill is... well, let's call it 'social status'.

The target is at World Blue Co., Ltd. However, this incomprehensible company doesn't seem like it will be easy to deal with.

I ended up taking on a nightmarish job, but it wasn't all bad.

There is 'Cafe Hana,' which opens at 5:00 AM. A lovely owner, efficient staff, and a breakfast of impeccable quality.

And the red bean paste. That red bean paste was delicious. Its sweetness, devoid of cloying heaviness, was pleasant on the palate while still having a distinct presence. It wasn't like the pretty-faced girl lording over the top of the class caste, nor the hyper-extroverted, super-communicative gal who never stops talking; it was the kindness of a modest, older-sister-type library committee member who gets along with everyone without causing waves and has a decent sense of humor.
I wonder where that gentle flavor comes from.

No, first things first: work. If I don't do a good job, even good food tastes bland.
I have to go to the headquarters of World Blue Co., Ltd. again today.

◇

The targets, President Ao and Secretary Yuni, were unfortunately absent today.

Well, that's fine. I have free access to the headquarters building under the guise of gathering information, and the president and secretary have irregular schedules. I can just collect information and wait for an opportunity to arise.

Today, I walked around to check on each floor.
On one floor or another, the employees were in a panic because an apparel department had been established. I heard something about 'Barcelona,' but I really don't know what this company is doing. Are they saying they'll paint even Spain blue? Do they intend to dye the matador's red cape blue? Do they intend to turn all the tomatoes used in La Tomatina blue? It's madness.

Phew, I'm a little tired. I recall there being a cafeteria on the top floor. I think I'll take a break there.

I took the elevator and arrived at the top floor.
It seems this cafeteria is open to visitors as well as employees.

Lunch break is long over. Therefore, there are zero customers. My plan to eavesdrop on employees to gather information about the president and secretary ended in failure. Oh well, regardless, I need a sugar fix right now.

I peeked into the kitchen. Oh, there's no one...

!!

I felt a presence behind me. To be able to get behind me like this, they are no ordinary person. Who on earth are they?

...Still as careless as ever. I taught you so many times: 'A hitman must never let their guard down, no matter the time or place.'

I slowly turned around. There stood the 'cafeteria lady' with her hair pulled back and wearing an apron. Seeing that familiar figure, I couldn't help but cry out.

Grandma Sunu! It's Grandma Sunu!

Have you been doing well, Dan-chan?

She had a smile on her face as if she were seeing her grandchild after a long time.

Back when I was still a novice, Grandma Sunu was a socially hitman with a reputation in the underworld. She was well-versed in pharmaceuticals and skilled at worsening a target's physical condition, earning her the nickname 'Internal Breaker'.

It's a coincidence to meet you in a place like this. Are you working?

Ah, well, something like that.

I see. That's hard work. By the way, are you using the gift I gave you?

The laxative and mop I used for my mission the other daywere also her specialty.
The super-strong instant laxative 'Stargazer' is a terrifying drug that sends an intense urge to defecate to the brain cells the moment it touches the mucous membrane of the tongue. When combined with the Mop-type Laxative Sniping Device 'MoLaSDe', it can even make someone 100 meters away defecate.

That aside, why is Grandma Sunu here? I heard you had retired from being a hitman, but...

Me? I'm just a cafeteria lady. You came here to order something, right? To celebrate our reunion, it's on me today! Tell me whatever you'd like.

She brushed it off casually, but that's fine.

That's true. Then, I'll have a coffee. The ratio is...

7 parts sugar, 2 parts milk, 1 part coffee, right?

Ah, as expected of you.

Wait a second. I'll bring it right over!

Feeling strangely hyped by this unexpected reunion with Granny Snu, I sat at a window seat and waited for my coffee.

Here you go, coffee. And here, take this.

Granny Snu, who brought the coffee, handed me something. It was a small Ziploc bag containing something that looked like a hard candy.

I'm not sure if it's to your taste, Dan-chan.

I thought to myself that she was like an auntie from Osaka, but it seemed I wasn't the only one feeling strangely hyped by this unexpected reunion. I decided to accept it gratefully.

Nom.

BLEEEEEEGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It's awful. What is this? It's disgusting. Ugh, wow, it's terrible. Nnngh, ugh, bleeegh, ughhh, gah, ugh, ah! It's awful! And it stinks! What is this! This sulfurous sensation is... is it durian?!

You tricked me, Granny Snu...!

The devil in an apron was looking at me with a smug expression.

You're really so naive, Dan-chan. I always told you, didn't I? 'A hitman must never let their guard down, no matter the time or place.'

Socially Hitman, Dan Negorouchi.

His future is full of challenges.

(To be continued?)

[Reference Articles]

↓ 'Cafe Hana'

↓ Story about the apparel department

↓ Grandma Sunu

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