Writing to Love Myself

Writing to heal myself on my own

I believe I started writing a diary about four years ago. It was around two years after I gave birth.

At that time, I was over 10kg heavier than I am now, and my house was cluttered. With my first child, I had no peace of mind, and I would fight with my husband constantly. However, I was a little happy that I had finally been freed from the company after resigning.

I was not good at working when I was employed outside the home.

I couldn't behave well, I was inefficient, and I made nothing but mistakes. I'm clumsy. It was also a job I didn't want to do, so every day was painful. That's why I didn't know how to work hard, and even if I tried, I couldn't. I must have looked like someone who wasn't trying.

Even when I changed jobs immediately, it was the same, and things just didn't go well. I was exhausted because I didn't get along with my senior female colleague, and I made big mistakes over and over again. I think it's a miracle I didn't quit sooner. I couldn't imagine starting over and learning a job from scratch again, and I couldn't quit because I was working to make a living.

These thoughts swirled in my head every time I made a mistake.

So I didn't return to work, and I decided toreset everything. Since I wanted to organize my life, I started writing after learning on YouTube or somewhere that it'sgood to keep a diary every day.

At first, I couldn't write at all. I would finish in about three lines. However, as I kept writing, I became able to write about events in more detail and express my emotions more vividly, and the amount I wrote gradually increased. I also started writing down what I needed to do for the day. That's why it became a habit, as ifmy day wouldn't start unless I wrote.

The time I spent writing becamea time for dialogue with myself and a source of healing. There were days when I would fill up a whole page of my notebook.

And before I knew it, I think it had become less of a diary and more of what I often hear about lately, likejournaling orwriting meditation.

By writing, I can organize the confusion in my head

In a diary, you write about events and then write what you thought about them. Therefore, when something unpleasant happens, you naturally end up writing more. Emotions ride on the pen and are spelled out one after another. It feels like the sludge in my heart is being spewed out from the tip of the pen at incredible speed. It becomes like scribbling. And when I finish writing, I feel incredibly refreshed.

By writing about things I disliked, I was able toget to know myself. I can confirm, "Oh, so this is what I disliked." So, a solution comes to mind, and I write it down. Of course, I also write about happy things. Then I realize, "Oh, so this is what I like."

A diary allows you to view events calmly and organize your emotions. And you can objectify yourself and get to know yourself.

In other words, writing isthe work of facing your own emotions and knowing yourself deeply.

Accepting negative thoughts myself

If you leave negative emotions alone, negativity occupies your mind as if a black cloud is spreading further and further. I can't stand it, so I end up complaining to others. I speak out of anger. And I want them to comfort me by saying, "That was a terrible experience, it's not your fault."
Sometimes I calm down a little, but the black cloud doesn't disappear completely. On the contrary, I feel disgusted with myself for complaining. And then, regret gradually sets in, thinking, "Maybe I should have done this at that time," or "Maybe I should have said that." It leads to self-loathing.

Even if you complain to someone, you rarely get the words or answers you were hoping for 100%. That makes you feel confused again. I can't control the uncontrollable anger and sadness, and I end up taking it out on my family.

Since I started writing a diary, I have written my complaints in a notebook. By writing down my feelings, I amlistening to my own thoughts myself. Accepting the negativity.
Then the cloud stops spreading. And I become calm and look back, wondering if I also had some faults.
I often can't listen honestly when others point things out, but when I can notice it myself, it comes with a feeling ofbeing convinced. Then I can think, "I'll do this next time."

By writing, I realized thatI can heal my own wounds myself.
After writing and organizing, when I want advice or want someone to push me forward, I ask someone I trust. Recently, I realized that my husband is the best person for that. That's because he speaks his mind honestly without trying to please me. Then, I sometimes get unexpected insights.
I also started to feel that my relationship with my husbandimproves when I trust him.

Negativity is a chance to make yourself stronger

After interacting with others, I think about why I said that, or how I should have said it, or what I should have done at that time, and I fall into a depression alone.
But what has happened cannot be changed. I write this regret in my notebook over and over. And I write down what I thought I would do next time.By writing, I make myself positive by thinking I should use this for the next time.

Don't leave your negative self alone forever; face your negative emotions firmly. There is much to learn from negativity. Negative thinking has the power to change you into a more considerate person. Therefore, negativity is not a bad thing.

By writing, I accept every version of myself.In my notebook, Ispew out negative emotions and convert them into positive thinking.By doing so, I become more resilient.

I can become a person who can take on challenges

Every day, I write down what I want to do. Then, the next day, I look back and write down what I want to do again. Instead of letting the days just drift by, I have started to enjoy every day with a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment.

Decluttering my home also progressed, leading to a life with fewer possessions. Because my home became a comfortable space, I was able to start a blog from scratch on my own and begin sharing my activities. I also worked on my diet little by little every day and lost weight.

By stacking up small 'I did it!' moments every day, I gain confidence. The label of being someone who fails at everything has peeled away. And without fearing failure, I am becoming someone who takes on challenges more and more.

I want to turn my learning into my own way of thinking.

Since I started writing a blog, I have come to want to make sharing my work my career. For that reason, I have come to want many people to read my blog.

I had this desire: 'I want to make my life better, and I want people to like my way of thinking.' And so, I began searching for how to succeed and how to have better luck.

Then I learned about the Law of Attraction and the subconscious, and learning became fun. I write down what I have taken in into a notebook to output it.I look back at what I have learned that I wrote in my notebook over and over, absorbing it into my own mind.

As if sprinkling Tinker Bell's magic dust to be able to fly freely and happily through the sky called life.

And now, it has changed into the dream of becoming an author and getting published. dream.

Writing to live peacefully as myself

Everyone lives thinking, 'I want to be happy.'.

There must be many people living while going through trial and error with these things.

The method I arrived at to become happy is to just keep writing down what I think, feel, and learn every day.By writing, I face my inner self. I listen to the voice of my heart regarding what I want to do.
When I cannot write a diary, I try to write down three things I was able to do today or things that made me happy. I can realize, 'I worked this hard,' or 'This made me happy.'

Improving the outside doesn't change life much. Value your intuition. Polish your inner self.The answer to becoming happy is always within yourself.

When I was a child, I was always only thinking about the present. I must have lived prioritizing what I wanted to do in the moment. Now that I am an adult, I face myself and become someone who enjoys the present like a child.If you spend every day excited like a child, you should be in your ideal future.

That is why I am redoing my life, returning to the feeling of my childhood when I had no worries at all. I was able to regain my pure heart because I was writing down my emotions.

I decide, 'This is how it will be!', and I perceive what kind of message the phenomena in front of me are. And I spend every day excited about how my wishes will come true.

There is a wonderful phrase a friend taught me recently.
' Instead of worrying about what others think of you, worry about how much you like yourself right now. '

Hearing these words, I thought I don't need to hold onto desires like wanting to be someone who can say impressive things or wanting to be someone others envy.

You don't have to try to be something, it's okay to be just as you are.It is precisely because there was a past version of me who was struggling desperately not to drown in a sea of tears that I am who I am today. Accepting my past self as well, I acknowledge my own value.I realized that everyone has value just by existing.

Life is meant to be enjoyed. Follow the voice of your heart regarding what kind of experiences you want to have in life.The only one who can make you happy is yourself.

Writing is listening to the voice of your own heart. And, I write to accept myself as I am.

Hoping that by sharing my realizations, it will lead to someone else's realization of happiness, and that they will think of themselves as a valuable person.