Episode 35 | What My Well-Intentioned Actions Have Taken Away

"Are the actions I took for the best really for the other person's benefit?"
This recent event asked me that very question.

Up until now, I have always sensed the unpleasant atmosphere around me and tried to lighten the mood, or swallowed my opinions out of fear when spoken to harshly, suppressing my own feelings to accommodate others. I encountered such a situation this time as well.

When my mother's older brother passed away and I told my sister, she said, "I haven't heard about it, so I won't go to the funeral," and "I'll pretend I never heard it." I was dumbfounded by her typical behavior, but I said nothing.

Afterward, she asked me to cover the incense money, saying, "How much are you giving?" I was disillusioned, thinking, 'Here we go again...', but I felt that perhaps she was just being sulky, so I left it alone without replying. If it were the usual me, I might have just accepted it to avoid the hassle. But this time, with my husband's advice, I deliberately did not reply.

Then, on the morning of the wake, I received a reply from my sister saying, "I won't attend, but I will go to deliver the incense money." I felt relieved. It meant my sister wouldn't be acting improperly.

And then came the wake. To my surprise, my sister arrived late to attend. Moreover, she spoke kindly to our cousin. Seeing that, I was astonished. It was a gentle side of my sister I had never seen before.

That was when I realized.
I had been acting for the sake of others thinking it was "for the best," but in the end, I might have been robbing them of the power to choose for themselves and take responsibility.

To be continued

˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚

Is the "well-intentioned" thing you are doing for someone right now
really for that person's benefit?
Perhaps simply watching over them is what truly gives them back their strength.