Episode 3 | Falling in Love with Roses, Going Mad

I absolutely did not want them to wither.
I wanted them to bloom beautifully, perfectly.
The house and the garden, just like a painting—.

I was obsessed with collecting roses, digging holes in the garden, planting them tirelessly, and lining up potted plants where I couldn't plant them in the ground.
Before I knew it, the small seedlings had completely packed my small garden.

I longed for an arch, trained them along the walls,
and even guided climbing roses into the laundry space.
My family went beyond bitter smiles and finally started complaining.

"The thorns catch on my clothes."
"I can't walk through the garden."
"The hung laundry is going to get torn by the thorns."

But I covered my ears.
No one's words could reach me.
As long as the roses were blooming, that was enough.

To make them bloom beautifully, disinfection was necessary.
To keep them from getting sick, I changed chemicals, checked concentrations, kept records, and made schedules.
Every time the color of the leaves changed, I investigated the cause and tried everything I could.

It was just like when I was raising my child for the first time.
Searching for the "correct answer," being pushed around, and before I knew it, my heart was cornered.

But at that time, I still hadn't realized.
That what I truly wanted was not the beauty of the flowers,
but the "feeling of being able to love myself"—.

To be continued...