The Eleventh Spring Since Leaving Home

It has been eleven years since I left home.
Every time cherry blossom petals dance in the air, I remember the scent of that spring.

What I think about now is that moment—
The fact that I couldn't see the happiness right in front of me that I took for granted.
I was only thinking about myself,
I only insisted on my own feelings,
And I failed to notice the kindness of those around me.

That day, I left home.
Not because it was the right thing to do.
It was just that if things had continued as they were, both of us would have broken down,
And one of us had to make a move.

A sense of guilt still lingers a little even now.
But perhaps it is precisely because of that,
I feel I have become able to look at my past self directly.

People do not just have one side,
They have many facets.
There are times when they are kind, and times when they become stubborn.
The people who seem the strongest may be crying deep inside their hearts.
All of that is a part of who they are.

Back then,
I didn't have the emotional capacity to try to see the "many facets" within the other person.
I judged people based on fleeting emotions,
And my own assumptions led to this current reality.

People are not perfect. That is why they make mistakes.
We should learn from those mistakes and carry them forward.

People view things through their own values,
They look at only one side,
"That person is like that, so it's no use talking to them."
"Someone who says things like that has no kindness, they aren't loved."
—That is how we sometimes jump to conclusions.

But now, I understand how much of a "waste" that is.

It is precisely because everyone's thoughts and values are different that life is interesting.
That is why,
Instead of judging based only on my own values or one side of a story,
It is important to understand the other person and find a compromise where both can feel good.

If we can build a relationship where we acknowledge and respect each other,
We can cherish both ourselves and the other person.
Our ways of thinking will surely expand even further.

If the me from back then were the me of today—
Perhaps the option of divorce would not have existed.
However, back then, that was my "best possible form of love."

I think about this while walking along the row of cherry trees.
People live while carrying everything: light and shadow, kindness and pain.
Perhaps that is why we can come to cherish any past.
* * *

To those who have read this,

People cannot be understood by only the parts that are visible.

Deep inside, there may be feelings that cannot be put into words,
And clumsy love that is still alive.
Please, whether it is yourself or someone else,

Do not judge based on only one side,
And try to turn your heart toward the "feelings" that lie beneath.
Because that is the beginning of kindness.

May this spring day today,

Bring a breeze of "forgiveness and awareness" to you.