I Changed My Way of Life for the Sake of "Fun"

Sometimes I don't know what 'fun' is.
That's why I periodically stop and think, 'What is fun?'
It might sound strange.
Because many people probably think that fun is something that just wells up naturally.
But for me, it is something I have to go and find.

✅ Fun isn't just found in excitement

When people hear 'fun,' many imagine someone with high energy, laughing loudly, and frolicking.
But the fun I think of is quieter and smaller.
When you find some kind of joy in just a fleeting moment, in a little bit of time.
I believe that is also a perfectly valid form of 'fun'.
In fact, what I value is the fun found within fatigue.
The fun that suddenly shines into the gaps of a day filled with a little stress.
If you can only enjoy things when everything is perfectly in order, then most of life would be unenjoyable.
That is why I go to find small bits of fun within the swaying, uncertain nature of daily life.

✅ However, you must not force yourself to be happy

However, there is something you must not get wrong.
When you are truly sad, when you are in pain, when you want to cry, when you are angry.
You must not forcibly overwrite those emotions with 'fun'.
First, you must fully experience them.
After you have fully processed them, return your thoughts to a flat state.
You can look for fun after that.
Because fun obtained by skipping steps is not true fun.
There was a time when my emotions almost stopped moving.
I didn't really understand fun or sadness.
There was only pain.
It was a time when the world felt like it had been painted entirely in gray.
But when I gradually changed my way of thinking, I realized something.
Humans need true fun.
Because I went through that gray world, I now never doubt the value of small bits of fun.

✅ To say, 'Ah, that was fun,' on my deathbed

If asked what I am living for, the answer is decided.
To say 'Ah, that was fun' on my deathbed.
That is my goal.
For that sake, I want to carve the very small bits of daily fun into myself, one by one.
I am living a life that makes me say, 'I changed my very way of life for the sake of fun.'
Even now, as I write this essay, I am in a different kind of fun—the fun of spending time thinking about true fun.
You don't need to spend that much money or time.
Just a fleeting moment, a small thing.
With just that, people can be sufficiently happy.
I have experienced it myself, so I can say for sure that it is true.
I won't say you have to force it.
But if you come to peek at my life from time to time, you should be able to understand why I am having fun.
That is why I am going to find one bit of my own fun today as well.
—Now then, when was the last time you found 'fun'?

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