Observing what catches in the heart

There is something I often think about when talking to people.
It is that even with the same thing, I often find that the other person is very bothered by something I don't care about at all.
For example, how to fold laundry.
I don't mind at all if it's not folded, but there are some people who won't be satisfied unless it's folded neatly.

✅ Everyone is completely different, which is why it's interesting

Even among friends who get along well, it is almost always the case that what each person finds bothersome is completely different.
Even if you get along, in reality, you only get along on a small part of who that person is, and I think you will find that the points of concern differ in all sorts of places.
It's completely different with my wife, and my children are also completely different from me.
When it comes to friends, it's even more so, and I've often thought recently that the trick to interacting well is to be careful as an adult about where you need to be careful, since they are, after all, other people.
The 'XX-harassment' that we hear about often lately is like that too; even with the same person, it might bother someone or it might not, depending on who the other person is.
That is precisely why I make it a point to properly observe what catches in that person's heart.
Observing what catches in people's hearts, recognizing the differences from myself, and finding it interesting—I believe this set makes interacting with people fun.

✅ You can fix yourself! Toward your ideal self

But sometimes, the parts that catch are so different that human relationships don't go well, and you might find yourself in trouble.
At such times, it is much easier to change your own actions, sense of distance, and way of thinking rather than asking the other person to improve.
Whether the other person will change even if you try to influence them depends on their feelings.
However, when it comes to yourself, if you handle it well, you can change.
If it's within a range where you can accommodate the other person a little, you should just accommodate them, and if accommodating them is not okay, it's better to keep your distance.
Also, by changing your way of thinking about your own strange fixations, there are times when you can let them go, so I hope you will also acquire the power to give up.
Changing yourself might be troublesome and scary, but when you actually try it, you can become a different version of yourself, which is interesting in its own way.

✅ Summary

In summary, enjoying the differences between people and being conscious of each other's 'catches' is the key to a good relationship.
For example, even in trivial daily situations, what people care about varies.
By finding these differences interesting and interacting with an appropriate sense of distance, you can build a comfortable relationship with each other.
Also, rather than trying to change the other person, it is easier to adjust your own actions and way of thinking a little, and you will acquire the ability to respond flexibly.
Furthermore, by turning your eyes to your own fixations and values, and trying to let go of what you should let go of, your feelings will become lighter.
By not being overly persistent and having a new perspective, you might see a way of living that is different from before.
Changing yourself might come with some anxiety, but beyond that, an encounter with a new self is waiting.
I hope you can enjoy small changes and feel your growth.

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