Feelings of anger are created after the fact

You have reached your boiling point and exploded in anger before, haven't you?
I have also had times in the past where my emotions exploded and I shouted out loud.
When you let an explosion of anger follow simple frustration, it causes significant harm, either by hurting someone else or by hurting yourself.

✅ Actually, there is time to think before an explosion

It was after I experienced depression that I was able to have another version of myself that observes my own emotions.
Thanks to that, I became able to observe the movement of my emotions when an explosion of anger occurs.
When I tried doing that, I realized that there is a little bit of time to think right before an explosion happens.
In that time, you can think about whether to let it explode or to hold back.
If you can see that step just before you always explode and hurt someone or yourself, you can prevent the explosion.

✅ Create a 6-second calm-down time

If you can notice it just before an explosion, there is research suggesting that leaving the scene as much as possible and creating a 6-second calm-down time will cause the surge of emotion to subside.
I also used to leave the room, be by myself, take a deep breath, and create a 6-second calm-down time when I was about to yell at my children.
When I did that, I was really able to deal with things calmly without exploding.
Actually, emotions do not come before you think; you think first, and then you create the emotion.
So, let's use that time spent thinking to control your own emotions.

✅ Summary

In the genre of anger control, there is a field called "Anger Management."
If you Google this term, I think various books will come up.
They sometimes have things written that are similar to my realizations.
If you are always angry, it might be good to read some of these books.
First and foremost, let's try to get into the habit of observing the movements of your own emotions.
Sadness, anger, and depression can all be alleviated with this.

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