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Acting and Causality Are Connected

Even if I wouldn't go so far as to call it a lie, there are times in life when a bit of bluffing, a white lie, or a small bit of "acting" is absolutely necessary.
It's not to deceive yourself.
Rather, it's like a small but powerful magic that helps you take that first step toward tomorrow.
In my 50-plus years of life, I have been saved by that magic many times.


✅ Sometimes you have to bluff

"Are you okay?"

When asked that, even if I wasn't really okay, I would smile and say, "Yes, I'm fine."
Have you ever had an experience like that?
My life might have been a continuous string of such moments.

Especially when I was wandering through the dark tunnel of panic disorder, it was exactly that, over and over.
The fear of an attack that could strike at any moment.
The sensation of my heart racing, my breathing becoming shallow, and the world warping.
Even then, I was a company employee and a father of two.
In meetings and at my children's sports days, I had to keep acting like "a person who was fine."

Was that a lie?
No, looking back now, I think it was a desperate "prayer."
By acting as if I were "okay," I was desperately trying to pull a "future where I am okay" toward me.
It was as if I were making a wish.

It was the same during the 10 years when my wife was working away from home to pursue her career, leaving me to handle childcare, work, and caring for my mother-in-law who required nursing care all on my own.
In the morning, I would wake the kids up, make lunches, dash to the office, and in the evening, I would go from the nursery school to the supermarket, then prepare dinner without a moment to catch my breath.
Honestly, there were many days when I was beyond my physical and mental limits.
Even so, in front of my children, I played the part of the "super house-husband who can do anything."
If I showed a tired face, the children would become anxious.
I believed that my being a source of sunshine for this home by smiling was the only way to protect my family.

This "acting" gave me a mysterious power.
As I acted, I started to feel like I really could do it.
It might have been a form of self-suggestion to overcome difficult situations.
Bluffing can sometimes become wings to help you soar over reality.

✅ The reality is that you can't get by being dead serious

The reason I became able to "act" so skillfully like this is, ironically, because I used to be a "dead serious" person.

I was what you might call an adult child.
My father was an alcoholic, and my mother was constantly pushed around by him.
The tension in our home was always high, and violence was a daily occurrence.
To survive in that environment, what I learned was to play the role of the "good child" at all costs.
I would watch my parents' faces and hold my breath to avoid making waves.
That was my survival strategy, and it was my entire world.

That "normal" way of life came crashing down when I met my wife.
My wife was joking around with her father without a care in the world.
Just seeing that scene was as shocking as being struck by lightning.
"Families like this exist?"
In that moment, I realized how distorted the "normal" I had been desperately protecting really was.

Trying to be serious, sincere, and meet your parents' expectations.
At first glance, it looks like a virtue. But that seriousness was strangling me and was the root of my difficulty in living.
Graves' disease, depression, panic disorder.
The illnesses that attacked me one after another might have been my body's scream against that "dead serious" way of living.

My experience with illness and being a working house-husband taught me the value of being "laid-back" in a good way.
You can't do everything perfectly.
Forgive yourself for what you can't do.
Sometimes, "pretend you can't do it" and rely on someone else.
You can't ride the rough waves of life by being serious all the time.
Loosen your shoulders a little, put on a life preserver called humor, and just float along with the current.
That kind of "acting" saves you.

✅ Summary

"Acting" (engi) and "Causality" (engi).
These two words don't just sound the same.
They are surely connected somewhere deep down.

Acting like you are "okay" when things are tough.
That is an act of inviting good "causality" for the future.
If you act like you are smiling, happy connections will come your way.
If you act like a kind person, you will be blessed with warm relationships.
Even my daily updates on Note, which I continued like a demon, might have been the result of acting like "a person who can keep going."

The result of stacking up these small acts is my life today.
My wife, who finished her assignment away from home, is by my side and makes me a lovely lunch.
My adult children have started walking their own paths, and three male cats are napping lazily at my feet.
Because I had those intense days, this casual daily life is incredibly precious to me.

If you are currently fighting all alone on the difficult stage of life.
Why not try bluffing just a little bit?
Why not try acting like your future self?
That small "act" will surely turn into wonderful "causality" and come back around to you.


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please contact me via LINE.
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✅Notice

Rindark's Regular Magazine [Essay Collection] has been published.
In this magazine, I write essays that go into more detail about tips for living life and things I've thought about daily, compared to these daily updated articles.
If you are interested, please check it out here.
Rindark's Regular Magazine [Essay Collection]


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