The Day I Let Go of 'I'm the Only One Who's Unhappy'

I used to always think that way.
I would spend nights unable to sleep due to self-loathing, and every time I saw those around me shining, I felt a loneliness as if I were the only one left behind.

But one day, I suddenly realized something.
Perhaps the true nature of my 'unhappiness' wasn't the events themselves, but my own 'habit of thinking'.

This is a small story about how I acquired two magic words and found life just a little bit easier to live.

✅ The Tunnel of Endless Self-Denial

My heart, triggered by the most trivial things, would instantly wander into a dark tunnel of self-denial.

For example, on a day when I made even the slightest mistake at work.
From that moment on, a movie with no end credits would start playing in my head: 'Why am I always like this?', 'I've probably caused trouble again', 'Everyone must be fed up with me by now'.
This movie is very troublesome, and it would often start replaying on its own at the most unexpected moments.

It was the same even during quiet conversations with friends. If the other person moved their eyebrows just a little or fell silent for a moment.
Just from that, a post-mortem meeting would begin in my heart: 'Oh no, did I say something that bothered them?', 'Maybe I ruined the mood because of me'.
Even after the conversation ended and I was alone, the spinning thoughts wouldn't stop.

'I have to think more positively!' 'I must be a forward-thinking person!'

The more I told myself that, the more disappointed I became in myself for not being able to do it, and I ended up hating myself even more.
My mental stamina was steadily drained, and before I knew it, I became afraid of even talking to people calmly.

'Anyway, I'm someone who shouldn't be happy.'

Before I knew it, those words had spread across the corner of my heart like an indelible ink stain.

✅ The Magic of 'Oh Well' and 'It Can't Be Helped'

What saved my heart wasn't a dramatic event or special advice from someone else.

It happened one day when I was sitting on my bed, hugging my knees as usual, sinking into heavy feelings.
In the silence, I suddenly heard a voice whispering from the depths of my heart.

'...Well, it can't be helped.'

It was a very quiet, gentle sound, different from resignation or giving up. It was a strange sensation, as if those words were gently melting my heart that had been frozen solid.

That's right, it can't be helped.
Because what has already happened cannot be changed. Besides, perhaps it was arrogant of me to think I could control everything, including how that person felt.

The moment I was able to think that, I felt the tension in my shoulders, which had been held tight for so long, suddenly release.

Since then, I have made a conscious effort to gift myself these two phrases.

If I mess up and start blaming myself, I say, 'Oh well'.
If I feel distressed because my heart is swayed by someone else's words or actions, I say, 'It can't be helped. They are who they are, and I am who I am'.

At first, I thought it was just a way to comfort myself.
But as I repeated it in my heart like a charm, my heart definitely started to feel lighter.

'Oh well' is like a small bouquet of flowers gifted to an imperfect self.

Even if it's not 100% perfect, even if I'm falling a little short, it's a gentle magic that allows me to say 'that's okay' to myself.

'It can't be helped' is a phrase for gently letting go of heavy burdens that I cannot control myself.
It was like a soft barrier of magic that protected my heart, telling me that I don't have to blame myself for everything.

✅Summary

That feeling of 'I'm the only one who's unhappy.'
I understand now that its true nature wasn't the events that happened, but the 'habit of thinking' that kept blaming myself.

Of course, I still have times when I feel down.
But now, I have reassuring charms: 'Oh well' and 'It can't be helped'.
Thanks to these words, before I sink too deeply into dark feelings, I can suddenly come to my senses and start taking care of myself again.

I believe this is not giving up at all, but a small piece of wisdom for cherishing oneself.

If you are currently hurting, wondering 'Why only me...?', please remember this.
And I would like you to try saying it softly.

'Oh well' 'It can't be helped'

I hope that just by doing that, your heart will feel even a little lighter.
Because you are always truly doing your best.

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